A Bond Never Dies
by Azure K Mello
Summary: A series of ficlets, slash. What happens when a scared Sirius turns to his best friend for protection?
1. 1

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Rating: R  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 1/?  
  
Words: 297  
  
Warnings: Angst, Slash.  
  
Pairing: J/S (eventually)  
  
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"I swear from this day forward to love only you. To feel allegiance to only you. To be only yours. From now until the day we die I belong to you." James bit through his finger and touched the bloody digit to the grey/blue stone. He smiled at his best friend as Sirius repeated the vow and covered the stone in his own blood. "So what exactly was that?"  
  
"Nothing," said Sirius. "It's just proof we're friends." He pocketed the stone and reminded himself to give it back to Dumbledore. He blew the hair out of his eyes and tied it back tightly.  
  
"You've been my bestfriend, since we were eight I hardly think we needed a spell to prove it." Said fifteen year old James.  
  
"Jimmy, have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?" James shook his head. "Have I ever hurt you?" Again James shook his head. "Then why don't you drop it?" He sounded tired and hurt so James didn't argue.  
  
His best friend had turned up the day before with a broomstick and little else. He was covered in blood, and dirt, and was so thin. If Sirius wanted this than James wouldn't argue. He didn't know much about Sirius' family: the other boy would never talk about them. What he did know was this, Sirius never got the love he needed. Sirius was like a dog, he loved to be loved and stroked and if you left him alone he was likely to break the house to pieces. But the boy sitting in front of James was nothing like that. Quiet, subdued, expecting nothing but scorn and abuse. James was desperate for his best friend to be his cocky, self-assured, self- satisfied, annoying self. He wanted his arrogant companion back. 


	2. 2

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Rating: R  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 2/?  
  
Words: 139  
  
Warnings: Angst.  
  
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Sirius felt guilty. Safety existed for him only when he was in the presence of his friend. Was it wicked that he wanted that to last forever? He knew that James would be pissed when he found out what Sirius had done. It was odd how Dumbledore had given him the stone: asking no questions yet smiling knowingly. He was so scared that James would never talk to him again, but the bond would force Jimmy to spend at least *some* time with him. All he ever wanted was to be at James' side. He knew the bond was forever, they would live and die with one another and that made him feel like he could breath without fearing his family, he would always have James there to save him. And he would save James, it would be ok. 


	3. 3

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Rating: R  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 3/?  
  
Words: 161  
  
Warnings: Angst.  
  
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James knew damn well what Sirius had done to him a little over a year ago. Was he angry? No. Why? Who the hell knows. It was nice to think that Sirius had felt the urge to let James care for him. He trusted James to take care of him. And James wanted to take care of the boy. There was no logical reason. Sirius wasn't weak and didn't need a sitter but James felt compelled to hold him close and sing him to sleep. Maybe that was the bond, but maybe it wasn't. Maybe he simply gave a damn. The bond was scary, they needed to stay together, if parted they would die. It was simple and to the point. So why didn't it scare him? Why was the idea of spending his life at Sirius' side not frightening as hell? Was it really that he loved the boy like a brother? Or did he just simply love the boy? 


	4. 4

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Rating: R  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 4/?  
  
Words: 329  
  
Warnings: Angst.  
  
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He woke to the sound of whimpering. A thudding in the back of his head made him feel woozy. He felt badly dehydrated from drinking or crying but his face was dry and he wasn't hung over. The sound caught his ears again and he thought for a moment that it was the wind, but the wind rarely sniffed. Upon throwing the curtain's of his bed back he was hit by a freezing blast of wind. He stood slowly and wrapped his arms around himself.  
  
"James?" he asked softly as he stood by his friend's bed. The curtains were drawn and he couldn't see the other boy's face. He felt the pounding in the back of his head and smiled. It might hurt like hell but it was tangible proof of a connection between the two of them. But if James' emotions were pouring through he must have been really upset as the tie was meant to alert Sirius to his mate being in danger. "Jimmy? What's wrong?"  
  
"Sigh?" asked the other boy imploringly.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Go back to bed, you wanker." Said James with a hard sniff.  
  
Sirius had to smile as he pulled the curtain back. James contracted from the tiny amount of light the moon cast in there window, "What's the matter?"  
  
"Nothing, go to sleep, I want to get some sleep."  
  
Sirius just smiled and asked, "Want some company?" It had been a long time since they had shared a bed to stave off the other's nightmares. As children they had always bunked in together.  
  
After thinking for a moment James pulled back his duvet. "Climb in and shut that bloody curtain." Smiling Sirius climbed into bed and pulled the drape behind him. He brushed the tears off his friend's face.  
  
"Wanna talk 'bout it?" he asked softly.  
  
"A world of no," replied James. He cuddled up next to Sirius and said softly, "I know about the bond." Instantly his bedmate tensed. "Go to sleep, Sigh." 


	5. 5

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Note: not "that conversation" yet!  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 5/?  
  
Words: 234  
  
Warnings: Angst.  
  
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There were many things that Sirius Black envied of his best friend. One was the fact that James had never feared his family, had always been loved, always had his body respected. The boy had never known the fear that was cause by the monsters in the bedroom across the hall. No James' fears had been caused by the monsters under the bed. Sirius coveted these things but also reveled in them. His Jimmy was untainted by real things.  
  
Something else Sirius envied was James' confidence. Sure Sirius could fake it, wear it like a coat to cover his true nature. But it really never fit, instead of confident he came off as cocky. Every morning Sirius woke with question. Where am I? Who am I? Why am I here? James knew the answers without asking: here, me, because.  
  
This morning was no different than any other. He woke in a cold sweat from a dream that he had had far too many times and as he jerked awake he panicked. This was not his bed! He wasn't sure who's bed it was but it sure as hell wasn't his. Suddenly an arm tightened around his waist, "And here I thought you had stayed with me for my benefit, not your own." Said a laughing voice. Sirius turned to the speaker and knew things would be ok, that James would answer all his questions. 


	6. 6

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 6/?  
  
Words: 520  
  
Warnings: Angst. I'm sorry to drag the group down!! I'm just having a day where happy writing is beyond me.  
  
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"Why did you cry last night?" asked Sirius sitting up. Carefully he looked at any place that *wasn't* James' face.  
  
"Nightmare, stupid subconscious can't even remember. But I think it might have involved a muggle super market and a large dog."  
  
"Your mind is a complicated and frightening place." Said Sirius with a gentle smile.  
  
"Could you?" James blushed, "Could you feel me crying? Through the bond, I mean."  
  
Shamefaced Sirius nodded, "I know you should have asked you, James, I know it was dangerous and serious and I should have asked. But then. . ."  
  
"But then I might have refused." Said James softly. Sirius couldn't tell from the tone whether or not the boy was angry. "You should have asked me." James agreed and Sirius nodded looking down at the bed not wanting James to see the tears that threatened to fall. "You could have asked me." James sighed, "By now you must have figured out I can't deny you. If you had asked me I would have said yes in a heartbeat. I would have been less confused every time I heard and felt you in my mind. This could have been so much easier." Nodding Sirius kept his eyes averted, "You're everything to me, I would do anything to help you." Hope shone in Sirius' glassy eyes as he finally lifted his head to look at the other boy. "You're my best friend, you're my mate, in fact you're my actual *mate*. There is nothing I won't do for you."  
  
"Really?" asked Sirius. He thought he understood James' sentiment. Potter would steal, cheat, and kill for him. But that's where the line was drawn. Sirius knew that. James would never. . . James could never. . . Sirius was sick. He knew this, it was one of the lessons his family had taught him. He was sick, his feelings were perverse. He was dirty. Nobody would want him. Nobody should want him. That would make them as repulsive as he. Anyone who loved him would be tarnished by his presence. He didn't want to ruin James. He didn't want people to look at James and see the foul thing that Sirius had caused him to become. And just as he was about to leave, get out of that bed and save James from himself, the other boy pulled him closer.  
  
He kissed Sirius gently, a whisper of a touch, "Nothing is too much, or too hard, when it comes to you. I love you, Sirius." James looked at Sirius expecting to see some reaction. There was no way that Sirius would have bound himself to someone he felt nothing for. But as he looked into his friend's eyes he saw repulsion and loathing.  
  
And then the taller boy bolted, his long hair flying out behind him. Sirius ran out of the room and into the bathroom where he proceeded to vomit out the contents of his stomach and then dry heave for a good twenty minutes. He had just fucked up the one person who gave a damn about him. He had just spoiled James Potter. 


	7. 7

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 7/?  
  
Words: 192  
  
Warnings: Angst. I'm sorry to drag the group down!! I'm just having a day where happy writing is beyond me.  
  
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"Sirius? Are you ok?" James called through the door. "I'm really sorry. I was totally out of line. It was a bad mistake ok? Can we just move on? I'm sorry. It won't happen again."  
  
"Having a falling out with your lover?" some idiot first year sneered as she walked past the bathroom. James flipped her the two finger salute and then went back to his task.  
  
"Please, Sear, I'm sorry. I'm a total arse. I swear, Sigh, it won't happen again. Just still be my friend?"  
  
"It's fine, James. You did nothing wrong. I think I might have food poisoning." Sirius called through the wood with forced gaiety.  
  
"You have me poisoning." James sulked outside the door.  
  
"No! Don't even say that. You've done nothing wrong. Please, Jimmy, go down to breakfast I'll see you later."  
  
James pounded his fist into the woodwork trying to work out his frustration. Slowly he turned and walked away. He was well aware of the audience of Gryffindors. And so, conscious of the crowd, he held his head high and tried to keep the desperate tears from falling. Behind him he heard Sirius retch again. 


	8. 8

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 8/?  
  
Words: 389  
  
Rated: R for the "c" word as my mum would say.  
  
Warnings: Angst. I'm sorry to drag the group down!! I'm just having a day where happy writing is beyond me.  
  
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"What is *wrong* with you?" asked Remus. James was twenty minutes late to breakfast. He had slammed open the Great Hall's doors with a face like thunder and slumped into his seat without saying a word.  
  
"Sirius is so angry and upset with me that he is at this very minute vomiting his intestines up upstairs."  
  
"Did you kill his cat?" Remus had no idea what could drive a wedge between his two best friends. They were as tight knit as a well made hat.  
  
"Worse. I kissed him." James dropped his head with a heavy "thunk" onto the table. "I wish I were dead.  
  
"Why did you kiss him?" asked Peter pouring James a cuppa.  
  
"I tripped and fell on his mouth. Why do you think?" he was in that bitter sarcastic mood that scared everyone but Remus and Sirius. "I am such a fucking moron. I wish I was dead."  
  
"You're not the only one." A snide voice behind him could, for once, do nothing to dampen his spirit further. "So what has happened between the Great James Potter and his loyal dog?" asked Lily Evans.  
  
James had always had a rather strained hold on his powers. He had an awful lot of untapped power that if it went unchecked could cause a lot of problems. Each day he trained with Professor Rinwan to assure he could contain his magic strength. Occasionally he lost it if he was tired or upset. A sudden burst of energy pulsed off of his body. A ripple effect occurs and Evans was pushed six feet back by the force. The girl let off a quick surprised shriek. "Sorry," muttered James as he stood, shook his head dejectedly, and left the hall.  
  
"Why do you always have to be such a cunt?" asked Remus of the girl softly. "We get it. You don't like him, you think he's an arse. The message has been received. Could you for once in your life leave off? You can see he's already bleeding so why can't you check the urge to dig about in the wound? Everyone here knows how you feel about him. Back off, you have nothing left to prove." He rushed out of the room quickly followed by Peter who shrugged and grabbed a slice of toast and James' tea for him. 


	9. 9

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 9/?  
  
Words: 543  
  
Warnings: Angst. But I don't apologize mhaha! (Happy Pesha?).  
  
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"It's gonna be ok." Remus was generally so good at placating his friend. Today he seemed to have lost his touch.  
  
"No. It isn't. Why couldn't I have contented myself having what I could? I had his friendship. I had him sharing my bed to stave off my bad fucking dreams. But is it enough for me? No, I, being the greedy bastard that I am, tried to get more. And now he hates me!"  
  
"You don't know that for sure."  
  
"No you're right. I bet he vomits every time someone kisses him. How fucking stupid could I be? Do you know we're bonded?" Remus felt his jaw drop but couldn't figure out how to shut it. "For a little over a year we've been bonded to each other. He said it was just to prove we were friends. And now looking back I see that he just wanted to feel safe and that he belonged somewhere. But again, I in my bullheaded blindness thought maybe just maybe he loved me. Loved me the way that I do him. It's not fucking fair! And then to top it all off I've just proved to him that he isn't safe with me. What if he thinks I'm only his friend because I want to get into his pants? What if he doesn't trust me anymore? What if he won't ever talk to me again? The bond will kill us both if we don't acknowledge it. It needs to be nurtured, we *need* to be friends. A bond doesn't die it just kills the parties involved in it. You can't beat it down or sever it. And as Victorianly melodramatic as it sounds I would rather be dead than not have him as part of my life. He's Sirius and he's always been here. I mean my parents were clueless, and you were off with your family, and Peter was off with his, and Sirius and I *were* each other's family. I can barely function without him. I can't have a thought without bouncing it off of him. What the fuck am I meant to do without him?!"  
  
"Jimmy, breath, breath. You will be able to function. Sirius will forgive you. It will all be ok. And if I know him the way I think I do he will return your love. Most likely he loves you right now. He's just freaked. I mean, this is our Padfoot: his family has fucked him over int the emotional department. You just need to give him time and let him do things by himself. Just make him know you care and that's you're there in a non-forceful way."  
  
"Why do you make sense?"  
  
"Because I'm not the one in love with Sirius. . . You two deserve each other: you're as bad as each other."  
  
"Yeah?" he smiled softly. "Sorry about Lily. I know she's your girlfriend and I know I really lost it. I just wish she would sometimes give it a rest. I'm an arse and she calls me on it. Does that mean she has to be mean?"  
  
Remus laughed. "You aren't the only one who lost your temper with her." He looked away from James questioning eyes and they both burst out laughing. 


	10. 10

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 10/?  
  
Words: 161  
  
Warnings: Angst. (You *know* you love it)  
  
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Sirius had stopped being sick and was laying on his back in the bathroom floor. He heard a lock twisting in the key hole and then Remus shouting, "Feck off all of you. There is nothing to see and I'll take ten points away from anyone who tries to see what happening in this bathroom. See if I don't. I don't care if you are all in my house. I would rather lose the cup then have nosy-parkers and earwigs fecking up my day. Don't you have school work to do? Bugger off!" He popped his head around the door. "Sigh? Can I come it?"  
  
"It's a public bathroom and you own the keys, Mr. Prefect."  
  
"I know but I just wanted to check-"  
  
Sharp laughter barked out of his friend as though the sound were ripped from him. "Please, won't you come in to my lovely public bathroom?"  
  
"Are you ok?" asked Remus gingerly sitting on the sink.  
  
"Oh I'm fucking perfect!" 


	11. 11

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 11/?  
  
Words: 314  
  
Warnings: Angst. This is me after all.  
  
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"What is with you and James always being so bloody sarcastic? You could just point out that I'm being a dolt because of course you're not ok." Said Remus standing from the sink. Why did it seem that helping his friends was comparable to running headlong into a wall?  
  
"No I'm serious. . . for once. Did James tell you why I'm in here?" Remus nodded. "He kissed me. He loves me for chrissakes. What could be better than to have the love of James Potter?"  
  
"Then what's wrong? What upset you so much that you were sick?" asked Remus getting confused.  
  
"I'm not good enough for him." Sirius spoke softly and Remus couldn't help but snort. He thought Sirius was joking. How could he of all people have an inferiority complex? He was a marauder. He was Sirius Fucking Black. He wasn't supposed to think anyone was good enough for him. The boy's eyes flashed darkly at his friends laughter. "I'm nowhere in the proximity of good enough. I would just hurt him. I would drag him down with me. That wouldn't be fair to James. He deserves someone he can be seen with. Someone who could love him. I don't think I'm capable of that. I think something in me is broken, not quite human. I'm not good enough for him. He deserves someone pure, who he could love for the right reasons."  
  
"That's ridiculous. He loves you and the only reason he's hurting is because he thinks you don't love him. We both know that's a fallacy so why don't you stop being a child and go and talk to him?" Remus thought that perhaps some tough love would work. Instead Sirius blanched. "What?"  
  
"He's hurting?"  
  
"Are you completely oblivious?"  
  
"Quite probably, I know my mother would agree with you."  
  
"He's hurting, you're hurting. Go find him and make it stop." 


	12. 12

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 12/?  
  
Words: 679  
  
Warnings: Angst. This is me after all.  
  
Note: go here to hear a male tawny owl's call:  
  
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The Owlery was cold. James' owl wasn't there. He had sent it the day before with a letter to his mother. The letter had been mainly forced pleasantries. What exactly should he have written to the parents that barely recognized he existed? Largely it was about the whether and Quidditch. Now he wished he hadn't sent Quill, the owl, back home. He wanted his bird here. The owl always made him feel calmer. He sat on a ledge, his legs dangling out of the castle, and fed a big tawny owl some bread. The low mournful call the bird hooted told James it was a male. So haunted and miserable the sound made James want to cry. Or maybe because he wanted to cry the hoot sounded sad. He stroked the majestic animal and burst into tears. Finally losing the willpower he had be holding onto all morning. Alone he held himself and wept, he leaned against the window frame for support.  
  
"I fucked up," he told the bird who cocked his head to one side and watched the boy with interest. "I really fucked up. I love him so much and I just ruined our friendship because I can't keep a hold on my stupid teenage hormones. Anyone else would have just kept on loving him silently, at least then he could look at me, I could touch him, I could have him at my side."  
  
He couldn't keep his personal shields up, the ones he had forged to keep the world safe from his power. They were literal, tangible shields and they fell in a wave, crumbling like a broken window. The power instantly found the cracks and surged through his body. A frightened owl, his only companion took a few step away from the boy to avoid the red mist surrounding the boy. James could sense the movement and looked up to the bird. "I'm sorry," he said but the bird started back at the sight of the green tears falling from the boy's face. Ashamed of his lack of control he looked back out at the landscape. The mist made cracking and popping noises. It burned at his skin but he didn't care. "Do you honestly think you can make me hurt? I just wish I could feel all the wounds you're inflicting but I'm in too much pain already."  
  
The owl cooed softly, commiserating with him.  
  
"I can't even control my own freakishness." He laughed bitterly. "Sirius never cared, he didn't care even when I accidentally hurt him. . . I wish Quill was here, he knows about all this stuff: I wouldn't have to explain. But I have to tell you to have you understand. My parents told me it was a gift, that I was *special* but they flinched every time I walked into a room. They said they wanted me to harness my talent. Truth was that they were scared of their own son, the prodigy come failure. And I guess I succeeded kinda. . . I'm the only sixteen year old on the planet that can meditate correctly: not ohm-ing in a corner. I can turn my mind off, and slow down my whole body for days on end. And in this trance state I can understand my power and learn to wield it. But not when it comes to that boy. His very presence breaks me into a thousand pieces and he's the only one who can build me up again. At the touch of his hand I'm fine. But he'll never touch me again, even if he does forgive me. Every touch will be questioned and second guessed, he won't climb into my bed when I have a nightmare after all, I might try to take advantage. Fuck me in the eye with a wand! What was I thinking?" He lolled his head around his shoulders and then let it drop to his chest, he needed to get out of this reality and into his own mind.  
  
"I think," said a soft voice, "you wanted to be loved." 


	13. 13

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 13/?  
  
Words: 729  
  
Warnings: Angst. Don't you know it!  
  
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The voice made James jump in his seat. Turning he rolled his eyes at the apparition in the door way. "Fuck off."  
  
Sirius blinked, "Excuse me? One minute you kiss me, then apologize and now you're telling me to fuck off?"  
  
"How stupid do you think I am? I only just shut my eyes! I know you aren't him. I'm meditating and you're here to teach me something, but not today. I can't deal with you today! Please don't make this any harder. I just want to get some control over myself. No hard lessons today, please! I just didn't want to be out there!"  
  
"Am I always your spiritual guide?"  
  
"You know you are." James scoffed bitterly.  
  
"And why's that?" asked Sirius with a gentle smile.  
  
James took a deep breath and sobbed out his statement thinking that his guide was asking him questions to teach him a lesson. "Because you're the only person I trust enough to teach me." He looked up and then looked down. "Please don't look at me like that."  
  
"Like what? Why can't I look at you?" asked Sirius worrying his lip.  
  
"Because he won't ever look at me like that. All I see when I look at you is love and acceptance. So please don't look at me because I won't ever be able to live out there with you standing in here."  
  
"I'm real."  
  
"*No*, you're not."  
  
"Would it be so awful if I was?"  
  
"Stop it!" screamed James rocking himself back and forth. "You've made me cry before, but it always had a point: a purpose. So what's this to teach me?"  
  
"Can you feel anything in your world inside your mind?"  
  
"No."  
  
"So what happens when I kiss you?" asked Sirius taking a step forward.  
  
"Don't. Just don't. Nothing happens because you *don't* kiss me. I would rather have nothing than something fake."  
  
Slowly Sirius stepped into James' personal space. The expression on his face as completely blank as he was bombarded with the red smoke. He burned and random cut appeared on his body but he stayed right there. He tentatively stroked James' face. "And what generally happens when I touch you?"  
  
"You're burning."  
  
"So? What happens, James?"  
  
"You don't come this close to me, my power keeps you away: you're afraid of it. I make sure the power is still coming off of me because I don't want you this close." Said James evenly as the red flared to near a black shade. "You *aren't* him. You *aren't* real. Stop. Touching. Me."  
  
"I want to kiss you."  
  
"No. It would be like cheating. It's too hard."  
  
"You're not going out with him."  
  
"That doesn't matter it's still cheating the feelings I have for him. You aren't real."  
  
"Would the spirit guide stand this close for so long?"  
  
"Even if you are the real Sirius I don't want you to kiss me."  
  
The power surging around him was causing Sirius' skin to crisp up like skin on roast chicken yet the only pain he felt came from those words. No physical pain can compare to the emotional excruciation of having one's heart ripped out after exposing it for the very first time. "You don't want me?"  
  
"Of course I want you, I love you. But to have you kiss me because you fear losing my friendship. . . it would rip me apart. You don't need to do anything to keep me as a friend. And to have you kiss me as some kind of payment. . . I feel sick even thinking. . . I won't have you whoring yourself out in a fashion just to stay in my good graces. I love you and it would be fake and sick a caricature of some perverse feeling and it would negate everything I feel for you."  
  
Sirius nodded, "Thank you. For putting me first, for caring, for not taking advantage. Now I'm going to kiss you." As he leaned in the magic sparked off of him and his lips ripped upon contact with James'. He ignored the pain and blood as did James. And as they kissed the power slackened its hold on his creator the natural mage sank into Sirius' arms as the last of the cloud slinked away. "I love you with everything I am." Whispered Sirius against the boy's lips. "Don't ever doubt it." 


	14. 14

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 14/?  
  
Words: 224  
  
Warnings: Angst. This is me after all.  
  
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He slipped into the Gryffindor tower unnoticed while carrying a near comatose Mr. Potter. Carefully he pulled off James' robes and laid him gently in bed wearing his beaten in jeans. Sighing James rolled over but flinched as he tried to move. Surveying the pale chest in front of him Sirius got scared, James wasn't meant to be *that* pale. He was a consumptive looking boy, you could always see every vein in his body through his translucent skin. But now he had gone from erotically white to a death pallor. He was too still, his chest barely moving. He was covered in bruises burns and cuts. And Sirius was scared. Usually if James lost control Sirius was right at his side ready to calm and soothe him into being fine. But James had been alone for at least ten minutes. The power had fed off his insecurities and pain, strengthening itself to destroy what was readily available: its host. Up and down his arms there appeared to be chemical burns but Sirius knew better, the power had literally been eating its way out of James. Walls pulsated in time with James' pulse and blue sweat poured down his skin, which was cold to the touch. Sirius was really scared. And with one last glance he ran out of the room towards the infirmary. 


	15. 15

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 15/?  
  
Words: 596  
  
Warnings: Angst. I can't make it easy for them can I?  
  
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James wept. He had felt it! It had to be real, it couldn't be a hallucination? He had felt it, damn it. He looked around himself and realized Sirius wasn't there. Confused he reached out to lean against the wall of the Owlery. As his hand met the stone he found he could *not* feel that cold stone and a cold laugh came from behind him. "You thought he was me? How thick are you?"  
  
Slowly he turned and saw Sirius standing there: sneering. "You, this, it isn't real."  
  
"As real as anything can be when it's in your mind."  
  
"I don't know what that means. If you didn't play so many mind games I would have realized that he was genuine."  
  
"I don't play mind games. I am a reflection of yourself. I know no more than you. I'm only here for you to bounce yourself off of until you can figure it out problems and how to fix them. I'm not "real" as you say. Therefore anything that comes out of my mouth is being said by you and I have no control over what games we do or don't play."  
  
"He kissed me. . ."  
  
"Maybe he thought he should just get it over with. At least if he initiated it he would be in control. Because who knows when you would lose to your hormones and kiss him? no matter what you said he knew he wasn't safe. Maybe he just wanted to not be afraid of what you could do and instead bring it upon himself."  
  
"Shut up." James looked away and out the window.  
  
"I can't say anything if you don't think it. Why would he kiss you if not out of fear: fear of losing you or worse fear of actually having you."  
  
"That makes no sense."  
  
"I can't help that. How can I make sense if the one in control of me is such a confused, pathetic child. Think logically: why would Sirius ever want you?"  
  
"He tied himself to me."  
  
"Out of fear, not choice. Anyway, that was over a year ago, you weren't so fucked up then. How can you justify inflicting yourself upon someone who's already as wounded as Padfoot is? What can you possibly do to him but break him further?"  
  
"He needs me!"  
  
"Does he? Or is it that he bound you to himself out of pity for his feeble friend? He felt he needed to take care of you as you're incapable of caring for yourself. Why would anyone need you? He has enough weight around his neck without the affliction of your affection. And you can't argue with anything I'm saying because *you're* saying it. I loathe living in this weak shell. Can you ever do anything right?"  
  
"No," said James looking at his feet, "I can't."  
  
"This is why, as I point out at least once a month, you should kill yourself."  
  
James found sudden strength within himself, "If I die so does Sirius."  
  
The figure looked taken aback for a moment and then said, "Maybe he would be better off out of this world wherein he doesn't have to cope with you."  
  
James sank down to his knees and wept, "I hate you."  
  
"Yes, I believe you do. But then again in hating me the only thing you truly hate is yourself. And how could *anybody* (even you yourself) love you when you're one solid mass of neuroses?"  
  
And with that final message the walls faded and he could feel his heart start to beat at a normal pace. 


	16. 16

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 16/?  
  
Words: 277  
  
Warnings: Angst. I am so mean to these boys.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He ran back into the room and watched as his friend started to move. Sirius witnessed the sudden, sharp intake of breath and the room trembled as if in an earthquake. The movement made Sirius feel sick. He knew how weak James was after losing control and he was worried about the boy's recovery. The medi-witch, Mrs. Thort, was right behind him and he heard her gasp at the sight but he ignored the sound and climbed in to bed to stroke his. . . boyfriend's?. . . forehead. He made soft hushing noises as James rocked himself slightly. Rocking is a bad sign. The coping mechanism was meant to remind the body of life in the womb but the movement just caused wounds to reopen on his torso. Gently, Sirius stilled James' movement.  
  
"No, Prongs. Lay still. I'm right here with you." He wiped the blood from James' body. "Is he gonna die?" he asked, looking up at the witch with tears in his eyes. "Please don't let him die."  
  
"He won't die. This is the worst I've ever seen *him* but it's not the worst I've *ever* seen."  
  
Sirius nodded and let the tears fall down his face silently. "Thank you."  
  
"After I fix Mr. Potter up I want to have a serious look at you."  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"The burn on your wrist is nearly down to the bone." She said as she started to clean, bandage and stitch up wounds.  
  
"I heal very quickly. Professor Dumbledore cast a protection spell on me years ago." He said as he still held James close. "He'll be ok?"  
  
Smiling kindly Thort said, "Yes, Sirius, he'll be fine." 


	17. 17

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 17/?  
  
Words: 493  
  
Warnings: Angst. I am so mean to these boys.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"James, please come back to me: I'm scared. Mrs. Thort thinks you're just resting but it seems like you're in a coma. I only just got you, barely. I can't lose you so soon. I need this, you. I love you. Do you hear me, you fucker? I love you and you can't leave me." Sirius whispered into James' hair. "I can't be happy without you here, I wouldn't want to be happy."  
  
Suddenly the slighter boy sat bolt upright, his eyes wide and unseeing. "Sirius?" he asked softly upon finding the boy in his bed. Slowly he reached out and touched the boy to see if this was actually happing and not just in his head. As his hand met warm flesh he said, "Can we forget entirely about today?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't love you. I'm sorry it was a tasteless joke and it backfired."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I never meant to hurt you." James' eyes held so much pain that Sirius wanted to scream.  
  
"Bull."  
  
"No, Honestly I would never-"  
  
Breaking into James' words he said, "I know you wouldn't hurt me. That's not what I'm arguing with. You love me. I know you do. I could taste it when I kissed you. And it was me kissing you not some vision. It was me! So please don't say it was nothing, because it *was* something."  
  
"Look," said James suddenly sounding cold and detached, "I'm giving you a way out here. Take it, Sigh, *please*." He couldn't look at the boy's face. It all hurt too much but he had to let Sirius go. He couldn't keep the boy knowing damn well that Sirius didn't mean it when he had said he love James.  
  
"No I won't "take it". I can't. I freaked this morning but only because I was afraid of the hurt."  
  
"I would never hurt you." James sounded disgusted at the very thought.  
  
"I was afraid that I would hurt you. That I would some how bring you down to my level. And hell maybe I will, I don't ever want to hurt you. But all I've ever wanted was to be in your arms. I know you must think I'm sick, that I'm perverse."  
  
"Sear! No, god, no. How can I think you're sick for wanting me? I love you. I. . . god, if you're sick I'm terminal. Please, you won't hurt me I promise. The only thing that could hurt would be to lose you."  
  
James laid back down against his friend. "You won't ever lose me." Sirius stroked James tentatively. "How could you lose me? We're bonded."  
  
The statement made James' stomach clench and he remembered his visions of Sirius only keeping him so that he could survive, pitying James, taking care of him, never loving him but saying it so that Potter wouldn't leave. The idea's made his head hurt and power strummed within him as he curled into Sirius' touch. "But if we weren't?" 


	18. 18

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 18/?  
  
Words: 732  
  
Warnings: Angst. I am so mean to these boys. Happy ending to this bit!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"If we *weren't* bonded? Do you want that? Because if it was up to me and we weren't' bonded I'd be in the middle of bonding us right now." Sirius wiped hair away from James' forehead. "I don't know what's going on in your mind, and that scares me. When we were talking and you thought I wasn't real you acted as though you were afraid of me. You thought I would be cruel and cold and you said you never let him get near to you because you were afraid. I hate that I don't know how to fix that. I hate that I don't know enough about what goes on inside of you to assure you that whatever the reason is for you pushing me away it isn't real!"  
  
"I," James spoke so slowly, "I am so confused."  
  
"Whatever the cunt in your head said just forget. Do I ever lie to you? Even to protect you? No I'm always honest. You think this guy is some kind of guide. I don't, your power doesn't like you. We know this, it's tried to destroy you before. And it scares me that you would listen to its manipulations over my pleading. I love you and this morning you were wishing I loved you. And now you listened to the bastard in your head and can't look me in the face."  
  
"He's just a part of me, he's just the personification of my thoughts."  
  
"That's what he *said* he was. He's your power that wants control of you. You love me, I know you do. And after wishing for so long that I could touch you I'm not going to just stop."  
  
"Why did you run this morning?" asked James still sounding hurt and confused.  
  
Sirius sighed. Now James *was* looking at him and he was the one who couldn't meet the gaze. He swallowed and then said, "James, I've spent so long hating who I was, and being hated by my family because they could tell from just looking at me that I was a fag. I'm amazed this morning that Remus could talk to me. And Gods! James Fucking Potter loves me! When you found out about. . . everything I was amazed you could still look at me-"  
  
Quickly James interrupted, "It wasn't your fault! You were a child and that sick f-"  
  
Placing a finger over James' mouth Sirius said, "Let's not talk about my father when I'm in your arms, ok?" James nodded against his finger. "To have you know and still give a damn about me, knowing how broken I am. . . I'm laying here crying over a voice I can't hear that only lives inside your head and yet I'm the happiest I have ever been. And I don't know what he, *it*, said but it's not true. I don't pity you. I don't fear you. I don't think I'd lose you if I told you that we were just friends. This is what I want. I *want* to be here. I want to fall asleep in your arms every night. And if that even somewhat resembles what you want I'm begging you to just let it happen. Don't fight it. Let me hold you."  
  
James kissed the finger that was still over his mouth, "I love you." He saw for the first time how badly beaten up Sirius was, "Gods, I kicked the shit out of you! Sear! I'm so sorry."  
  
Smiling Sirius said, "It's fine, it doesn't hurt at all. I've been pumping so much adrenaline worrying about you that I feel no pain."  
  
"I broke your lips." James ghosted a digit over the wound.  
  
"Pretty amazing kiss." Sirius leered gently.  
  
"What's the time?"  
  
Pulling back the curtain Sirius looked at the wall clock, "'Time to scoff dinner'" he read, "sevenish I guess."  
  
"To early to go to bed?"  
  
"We're the walking wounded, let's just lay here for a bit."  
  
"We missed a whole day!" James was shocked by the revelation. "We have to make up all the classes!"  
  
"It's Saturday." Sirius said sleepily.  
  
"I missed Quidditch practice!"  
  
Smirking Sirius said, "Whatever will you do?"  
  
The noise of people milling about the common room lulled them to sleep. And when Remus came up ten minutes later he smiled at the sight and shut the bed curtains so the sun wouldn't wake them. 


	19. 19

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 19/?  
  
Words: 700  
  
Warnings: Angst. I am so mean to these boys. Happy ending to this bit!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Laying awake for hours James had watched the taller boy sleep with the morning light creeping in through gaps in the curtains. Eyelids fluttered beneath his gaze and he smirked. "I know you're awake. But for exactly how long have you been in that state?"  
  
"fifteen minutes? I don't want to open my eyes it might be bright." He smiled gently and opened his eyes slowly. He smiled when he saw his cat curled up on James' chest. "Binkdine woves you!" he said in a stupid baby voice and then he paused and spoke normally, "I'm really hungry."  
  
James couldn't help but laugh, "Me too." He ran a thumb over Sirius's abdomen but shrank back from the extreme heat. "My Gods! You're so hot."  
  
"Born lucky," said Sirius before realizing what James meant, "Oh, *that*. It's the healing spell Dumbledore put on me years ago. It's sterilizing any wound."  
  
"Doesn't it hurt?" asked James with concern.  
  
"Burns a little." Sirius shrugged, "Doesn't matter." James nodded and leaned down to blow cold air over Sirius' stomach. Moaning Sirius arched off the bed and into James' cool caress.  
  
A creaky voice suddenly sounding, "Shut the fuck up, Sigh! I mean Christ! Peter and I didn't go to bed at eight o'clock and are therefore sleeping like normal people on a Sunday."  
  
"Sorry, Moony," they said in unison, "We'll go to breakfast."  
  
Throughout breakfast James kept one hand on Sirius' knee under the table. They ate and talked animatedly with the people around them. And the pair made plans with what to do for the rest of the day. They would take a picnic to the shrieking shack, no one would go up there for fear of the "ghosts" and so they could be alone. And the upstairs of the building was nicely furnished. Just as they were about to leave the mail arrived. Everyone smirked when they saw the red envelope, it was always great to watch the receiver of the howler squirm. Even James was smiling until he realized that his owl was carrying the note.  
  
"Oh bugger."  
  
"Fuck your parents!" Sirius said emphatically. Quill dropped the letter into James' goblet filled with cranberry juice. Licking the edges clean of the sticky liquid, he opened it quickly knowing from experience that one should never wait to open a howler.  
  
"JAMES DONOVON ALASTAIR HARLAN POTTER!" screamed his mother.  
  
"Well at least she made it clear who she was talking to," James muttered into his chest.  
  
"NEVER IN ALL MY YEARS HAVE I BEEN SO HUMILIATED. YOUR FATHER IS TOO DISGUSTED TO EVEN WRITE. LOSING CONTROL NOT ONCE BUT TWICE IN A DAY?" James smirked at her words not letting them affect him. "TO STRIKE OUT AT SIRIUS IS BAD ENOUGH, BUT AT LEAST HE'S USED TO IT BY NOW. BUT LOSING CONTROL WITH A MUGGLE GIRL? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED, *ASHAMED*. IT'S BAD ENOUGH HAVING A MAGE IN THE FAMILY," James suddenly blanched and couldn't smirk anymore. "WITHOUT-"  
  
The words suddenly ceased and James looked up to see Dumbledore pointing his wand at the spot where the letter had been only minutes ago. The professor was standing in his housecoat and slippers but he still managed to look so powerful. "That's quite enough shouting for a Sunday morning thank you, Mrs. Potter." Everyone laughed at the tension breaker. Dumbledore looked at the enchanted ceiling. "Lovely morning," he said and sat back down.  
  
"That was his subtle way of calling your mum a cunt," said Sirius squeezing James' hand under the table.  
  
James smiled, "She's right though I shouldn't have blown up at Evans."  
  
"You threw down with Lily and didn't have the good grace to wait for me to witness it?"  
  
"See what happens if you spend your time hating yourself in the bathroom?"  
  
"I can't believe I missed it!"  
  
Smiling James looked up and saw the whole hall watching him warily. "I'm a freak."  
  
"Maybe," agreed Sirius with a nod, "being a mage isn't normal," he said sagely, "But you're a good man, and you're my freak. So fuck everyone else. You will do great things, Mr. Potter, and I'll be there to see it because I'll never let you go."  
  
The end of part 1 stay tuned for part two Azkaban/post Azkaban 


	20. 20

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 20/?  
  
Words: 200  
  
Warnings: Angst. Scenes in Azkaban.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was the twenty-third day of his time in the prison. He had been told that most people couldn't count beyond the first three or four days. But he wasn't racked with guilt only grief. It was the guilt and sadness that usually mad people go mad here. The dementors sucked ever happy thought out of people, but Sirius had no happy thoughts to leech. He had lost his lover and best friend and nothing would make that ok. He was an idiot and had caused the death of his Jimmy. He had done was ask that bastard Peter to be the secret keeper in his place. It had seemed like such a great idea. No one would suspect dear Peter. And then Hagrid wouldn't give him the baby. He wasn't allowed to hold his own godson! Then they arrested him and brought him here. There was no trial fair or other wise. Go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect a hundred dollars. It didn't matter though. James was gone and he couldn't have Harry so did it matter if he was here in this hell called Azkaban or the hell that was his own mind? 


	21. 21

Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Title: A Bond Never Dies  
  
Part: 21/?  
  
Words: 465  
  
Warnings: Angst. Scenes in Azkaban.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He sat in a corner turning the band of plain gold he wore on his left hand. He had charmed both his and James' ring to never leave them, and so while the dementors had taken it from him he had found it on his hand the next morning. A person can tell time from the position of the sun. And if a person is bored they can learn to do so quickly. At around four that afternoon a figure walked into his cell. He was shocked to see Dumbledore standing there, looking at him. He smiled weakly. "Hello."  
  
"What is wrong with you?" asked a cold voice.  
  
"Come again?"  
  
"When you were young and you got into trouble I made excuses. I blamed it on James' spirit, on being young, on being fearless. But you liked the trouble didn't you? You're just like your father."  
  
"I didn't do this! I thought you were here to help me. To tell me he wasn't dead."  
  
"You were their secret keeper! You know they're dead."  
  
"Peter was, we switched at the last minute." Sirius felt completely numb. Dumbledore doubted him, he had compared him to his father!  
  
"Why did you do this?"  
  
"I didn't! He can't be dead, we're bonded if he were dead I would be."  
  
"Maybe it broke."  
  
"That's impossible! Why am I not dead?"  
  
A look of realization crossed Dumbledore's face. "You couldn't stand that he married her. So you got them both killed as a punishment and as a bonus you wouldn't have to live with having done it."  
  
Dry laughter bubbled from Sirius' chest, "Jealousy is my motive?" his shoulders dropped as he glowered at the man. "He married her for your fucking prophecy. It wasn't real. They even had to be married at a muggle church because our world wouldn't recognize the union as he and I are bound! She was no threat, she loved Remus. And she didn't even really like James! I thought you came here. . . He isn't dead, he can't be if I'm alive! Do you know that they have no evidence against me? The only thing they have is what Peter said!"  
  
"You killed Peter," said Dumbledore simply.  
  
"No, he blew up the sidewalk and framed his own death! He's out there somewhere." He pleaded, "Don't you understand? I've had no trial. I need to get out of here and find James!"  
  
"No you're the one who has to understand, I don't care. You don't deserve a trial."  
  
"When did you start trusting the newspaper?" asked Sirius bitterly. "We're bonded, he's alive."  
  
"When I gave you that stone all those years ago I hoped that you two would be ok. I thought you would mend each other. Was I signing his death warrant even then?" 


	22. 22

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 22?

Words: 190

Warnings: Angst. Scenes in Azkaban.

* * *

After the years he had spent alone he couldn't trust his senses. After all, there was no way James was really opening the door to his cell. James wasn't kneeling in front of him. Or touching his face. But it was strange because James looked older and more tired than Sirius had ever seen him.

"Sear? Sirius? Can you hear me?" asked the apparition.

"I'm not deaf."

"Are you ok?"

"Not really, no." Sirius couldn't figure it out. The hand on his face was warm and calloused. The vision's breath smelled of tea. Finally he asked, "What are you?"

"Church of England? 27 years young? Your mate?" offered the creature.

"You can't be."

"Well, I haven't been to a service recently but I was confirmed."

"Shut up," he felt himself flinching back from the _thing_, "you aren't real."

"Sear, I am. I promise. I'm James. Can you walk."

"Yes, but you aren't real."

"Ok. If I'm pretend, pretend to come with me. Pretend you got acquitted. It'll be fun. Please?"

Sirius just stared at the apparition. It wasn't as though he had anything better to do with his day, "Ok."


	23. 23

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 23?

Words: 229

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

"Who's a good boy?" asked James softly as he took Sirius' hand. He kissed Sirius' fingers. Smiling gently he led Sirius out of the cell, "You're doing great." Three guards stood behind James and Sirius flinched back from their cold presence, "Ignore them. They won't hurt you. We're pretending you were acquitted because I'm alive and I told everyone the truth. We're gonna pretend to go home. And I'm gonna pretend to reintroduce you to Harry. He's four -you've been here for three years- you'll like him."

"Three years?"

"Uh-huh."

"Where were you?"

"Voldemort kept me in seclusion so he could study a mage." He led the prisoner out of the penitentiary and into the sunlight.

"Were you scared?" Sirius himself was shaking and was watching his feet not the open space.

"Yeah. But I knew you were waiting for me." The prison was on an island and James led Sirius slowly to the dock.

"But. . . you're not real."

"So I've heard," said James as he stepped into the little boat he'd rented, "C'mon. Let's get out of here."

"Am I gonna get in trouble?"

"No, Sear. Remember? This is a game of pretend. Nothing will happen to you," James assured the frightened man and smiled as Sirius finally stepped into the boat. "Perfect," he said as he used his free hand to stroke the man's face.


	24. 24

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 24?

Words: 272

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

They sat down together on the little bench in the motor boat. James started the engine with a spell never having been one for muggle technology. At a distance from the prison Sirius' mind was beginning to clear. He silently watched James maneuver the boat out of it moorings with a point of his wand. He watched the waves lap at the little craft. He looked at the scars on James' hands and neck and finally said, "You've been losing control of your magic?" James just glanced at him, waiting for an explanation to the question. "You've a lot of new wounds."

"Voldemort kept me on edge to make sure he could study a mage in the raw."

"How did he do that?"

"I think that's a story for a day when you're healthier. Let's just say I don't react to stress well."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," said Sirius and James smiled wanly. "You're really him aren't you? You're really my James."

"And no body else's."

"But you're dead."

"No, we're bonded or maybe we're bound, that doesn't matter. If I was dead you would be too."

"I thought I was. It's sort of hell in there, you see."

"You're not dead."

"Dumbledore wouldn't believe me. He said you were dead. That I'd killed you because I was jealous. He said I was as bad as my father. He said I was a coward because I had killed you and expected the bond to finish me so I wouldn't have to cope with what I'd done. He wouldn't believe me."

"He's a stupid man. He put Harry with Lily's bastard relatives."


	25. 25

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 25?

Words: 110

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

Sirius rested his head against James' shoulder. The Mage said softly, "Get some sleep, Sigh." 

The old nickname made him smile. It had started when they were tiny children. James had thought his name was Cyrus and had shortened it accordingly. "I'm not tired."

"We shant reach the shore for another hour," James rested his head against Sirius'.

"Missed you, James."

"You must have known I would save you."

"I thought I would rescue _you_."

"You did, when I thought about you I felt safe."

"I thought the bond would kill us if we were apart."

"We weren't. Not up here," said James tapping his mate's forehead. "Always with you."


	26. 26

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 26?

Words: 405

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

As the boat bumped into the dockings Sirius jumped. He hadn't even realized he'd drifted off. "You're fine," said a soothing voice next to his ear. "We've still got another 2 hours in front of us. But I'm gonna "drive" us in a "car" that Remus borrowed off a muggle he knows. We're gonna go to Remus'."

"Remus?" He asked as James took his hand and led him out of the boat and back to solid land.

"I got away from Voldemort two days ago. Remus took me in, found Harry, and set up the hearing for me to get you. We're gonna stay with him 'til we can find a place. Ok, love?" James asked as he opened the car door for Sirius.

"He thinks I did it."

"No, Sigh, he knows you're innocent."

"Harry? Is he. . ." he grappled for a word, "nice?"

"Lovely," the father beamed, "He's just. . . lovely."

"Good," Sirius smiled weakly in reply, "What's he like?"

"He's very timid. He was starved, ignored, beaten, and turned into a servant. Lily's relatives are bigger cunts than she ever was." After being married to Lily for two years he had grown reluctantly quite fond of the girl he had once loathed. "I want to kill them. But then I get sent to prison and I lose you and Harry all over again. I'll find some way to get them. Right now Remus has set the muggle children's welfare on them. While I was getting you out of that place Remus used a magically modified version of a video recorder-thing to tape the cupboard where Harry lived. And he used a truth serum on them and recorded them telling how badly they treated my little boy in great detail. He phoned some friend of his who works for the children services and the guy went over there while they were still dosed up and they confirmed everything in the tape to be true. There will probably be criminal charges leveled against them but I want them to really pay." James sighed, realizing that it was the longest thing he's said to Sirius and that perhaps it was too intense for his currently delicate lover to be hearing in his state. But he looked over and saw that Sirius just looked thoughtful and so he added, "I guess I've had a bit of a thing for vengeance lately. I killed Peter."


	27. 27

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 27?

Words: 335

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

"What?" asked Sirius slowly.

James could feel his mate's anxiety. With their close proximity the bond was waking up and pulling them mentally back together. He was suddenly aware of how cold Sirius still was and wanted to hit himself for his thoughtlessness. The prison was an unheated block of stone on a windy island and they'd spent two hours on an open aired boat with Sirius dressed in rags. James turned the heater on full blast. He had wanted to keep the story for when they had settled down. But Sirius seemed mentally whole and he thought it best just to start form the beginning. "The night he betrayed us Lily cast a spell, unbeknownst to me, that protected Harry via her motherly love. It killed her, scarred Harry, and left Voldemort near dead. It would have killed him were it not for the presence of a natural mage on the scene. He bled me of my power and healed himself with it. He left Harry and Lily in the rubble but took me with him. He thought I would be useful. He and Peter took me to some underground facility.

"I never saw Voldemort again. I just heard him. He's still around and perfectly healthy, biding his time. Peter was my keeper. They kept me tired, hungry, on edge, and cold. It all would have been fine were it not for Voldemort always being inside my head. They wanted to see me under every stress they could put me under. So he told me all sorts of things. I didn't know up from down. One day he'd say Lil was having Remus' baby, you and I were retiring to Cornwall, and Harry had lots of friends at University. The next he'd say that I'd killed you and Harry was a death eater. I was confused and my magic, unchecked, ate at me as I couldn't find any control within myself."

Sirius shuddered as he thought of what his lover's magic was capable of.


	28. 28

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 28?

Words: 199

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

"After three years of their tests they'd learned all they could from me. Peter came and finally told me the truth. Voldemort had me so tied in knots that I didn't know what had become of you. But Peter told me as he gloated all about faking his death and getting you locked up. I started losing my all too weak grasp on my powers. And he told me he was going to kill me. My power's been trying to kill me and take over my body since I was nine years old and it wasn't about to let him do me in. I just exploded. I slipped into one of my comas, got kicked by the evil version of you that lives in my head, and woke up next to his singed corpse. Without him there to guard me it was easy to leave. No one else knew where I was because I was too important to their cause. I apparated with his body to the ministry. You know the rest."

"You didn't kill him, Jimmy, your power did. That's not revenge. Don't feel guilty."

"I don't feel guilty. But it is revenge, you see, because I'm glad."


	29. 29

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 29?

Words: 214

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

After an age they pulled up to a small house and James stopped the car. "We're here. Are you ok?"

Sirius just nodded slowly, "I'm a bit scared though. What if he doesn't like me?"

"Harry will love you."

"I meant Remus."

"What?"

"It's been a long time."

"Love," said James as he undid his seatbelt and slid closer to his mate, "it'll be ok. I promise. He still likes you. This is just Remus and Harry. No one else. I'll be right here with you." He kissed Sirius slowly and then Padfoot pulled back.

"Sorry, I'm filthy." He studied his dirty hands and felt stupid and insignificant.

James shook his head when he realized that Sirius had no intention of looking up. "I love you. You're fine. Beautiful." He leaned in to lift Sirius' chin but the man refused.

"I must taste foul."

"No, you taste fine. Remember that New Year's Eve party at my parents' house? When you threw up you tasted foul. But I kissed you then. You're fine. Kiss me?" Looking up reluctantly Sirius kissed James without a word. James pulled himself into Sirius' lap and twined his fingers into the man's filthy hair. "You're lovely," he promised as he broke away to breathe, "I love you. I always have."


	30. 30

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 30?

Words: 249

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

"It'll be fine," he promised as he climbed out of Sirius' lap and indeed out of the car. Taking his lover's hand he said. "We'll get you a nice warm shower, and some supper, and a good night's rest." He looked at his watch and its face read, "Supper? Twat, it's 6 o'clock." He sneered at his watch. It would just be a very early supper. He hadn't eaten before 8 PM since he'd been at school but he could tell that Sirius needed some rest.

Gratefully Sirius just nodded and let James lead him inside the small house. Remus and Harry were sitting across from each other at a low coffee table playing a muggle game of checkers. They had quickly learned that the boy was absolutely terrified of magic and so exploding snap had been knocked off the entertainment list. Introductions were made and the boy was quiet and polite. It was sad to see such a sweet little boy look so worried. James told Remus he was going to help Sirius in the shower and Remus smiled knowingly at the pair.

Remus was slightly intimidated by the child. Harry was quietly intense and was far too aware of the world. After the pair had left he asked Remus softly, "Does my daddy love him?"

Feeling uncomfortable with having to answer the question Remus figured that honesty would be best, "Yeah."

"Fer a long time?"

"Yeah, for a very long time."

"So why dids he marry Mummy?"


	31. 31

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 31?

Words: 343

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

Remus was scared of the question. There had been some question as to Harry's magical abilities. As the child of a powerful witch and a natural mage no one was quite sure of what his powers would be. At his birth the medi-witch had said that he might have precognizant qualities and that they shouldn't worry if, in the future, he seemed to know more than he should. Now he sat across from Remus with his wide, slightly disconcerting eyes and Remus was sure he would be a magnificent wizard when he grew up. "Because," he said slowly, "they were told that if they had a baby he would do great things. They got together to have you."

Harry sat silently and then asked, "Did they like me?"

Remus saw Lily in his mind screaming at James and saying that she wasn't going to ruin her body to have some child she didn't even want. James shouting that he would never have sex with her and fuck Dumbledore and his stupid fucking prophesy. When they were told that there was a potion Lily could take she screamed that she wouldn't swallow his spunk. And then he remembered her holding Harry for the first time. The baby looked up at her and she huffed a breath as though she'd been punched in the stomach and said, "He's perfect." She kissed his face and held him close and when James asked to hold him she had just smiled. James had sat next to her and cradled the baby and kissed Lily's forehead. He thanked her over and over for a beautiful son. They sat together and cried as they held their baby.

"Your mum loved you more than anyone. And your dad thought you were amazing." Remus smiled at the memories.

"Where dids we live? Did Serious live wive us?"

He smiled at the way the little boy said Sirius' name, "Yeah, all of us did. You're mum, and dad, and Sirius and me."

"Did you love Mummy?"

"With all my heart," Remus smiled wistfully.


	32. 32

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 32?

Words: 343

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

"How di' they know they was gonna have me?" asked the little boy, "You saids they knew and tha's why they gots married."

"It was. . . " Remus hesitated, "magic," he finished reluctantly. The muggles had fucked him up but good. He was so scared that he instantly coward away from him. They had scared him so badly that he had suppressed his powers and had yet to exhibit any magical prowess. Remus sighed and said, "Magic isn't bad, Harry. Come here." He walked into the kitchen with the little boy behind him and he open the cupboard. "What in here do you not like to eat?" he asked.

Harry was scared. Sometimes when he was bad the Durleys made him eat icky things. Maybe he'd upset Remus and now the nice guy was gonna punish him. If he had really upset Remus Harry could understand why he was being punished. Remus was nice and if he punished Harry then he must have deserved it. Resignedly he pointed to a tin of sardines.

"Good," Remus got them out, closed the cupboard, and put them on the table, "now what food do you really like more than anything?"

After thinking for a moment the boy said, "I like mashmellos. Fer my birfday I got six! But then Dudley ate five of 'em."

"Alright," said Remus, "now watch what I do." He pulled his wand out of his pocket and placed the tip to the sardine tin. The little boy gasped but tried to keep watching as he was scared not to. Remus concentrated and where there had been a tin of slimy fish there was now a puffy bag of marshmallows. "See?" said Remus as he ripped them open, "Magic's a good thing."

A half hour later Sirius and James found them playing exploding snap with the half eaten bag between them.


	33. 33

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 33?

Words: 275

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

They were sitting at the kitchen table eating pizza when it suddenly occurred to Sirius. He looked at the phone and at the delivered pizza, he looked out the window to the car, and thought of James talking about Remus' connections in the muggles' children services. "Remus? Why do you know so many muggles? You always knew a few but now you're up to your ears in them."

Shrugging Remus said, "Well, I mean. I used to hang out with muggles in the summer. Most wizards don't want their kids hanging out with werewolves. Most wizards' kids don't want to hang out with werewolves. You guys were just different. So once it got out that I was, y'know, full moonily challenged I gave up on making wizard friends. I've just gotten used to that. It wasn't really a problem 'cause I always had you guys." He smiled at Sirius as he grabbed another slice.

"What do you do? Work wise?" asked Sirius feeling disgusted with the wizarding community.

"I get by. I still do things for the Order. But um, yeah, I do lawn service, degnomeing gardens and things." He shrugged but this time the ease seemed more forced.

"That's sick. God, I hate all of these pureblooded snobs!"

"It's not them it's the Ministry, they've been saying a lot of stuff recently, published a pamphlet on recognizing dangerous half-breeds."

"You would have thought that by now they would have realized that saying that is no better than Voldemort!" said Sirius angry at his friend's degradation.

With another, much more worn, shrug Remus said, "Hey, at least they're not legalizing werewolf hunting. . . yet."


	34. 34

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 34?

Words: 164

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

James saw that his son was watching the conversation with wide eyes. As he didn't want the little boy to be poisoned against magic and magic users he tried to distract him, "Harry, you only had one slice of pizza. Would you like another?"

Looking nervous Harry said, "I'm fine fank you."

After watching his son practically inhale his first slice James knew Harry would still be hungry. "Are you sure, buddy?"

"I don' wanna be a bover."

James smiled sadly and he envisioned ripping out Vernon's throat, "It's no bother, baby, you can have as many as you like. We've got plenty."

Reluctantly Harry reached for his plate. He seemed to be wondering if it was some sort of a trap he was walking into but he went to pass his plate to James with shaking fingers. The grease from the pizza made his baby fingers slip of the ceramic plate. It fell to the table where it cracked into small pieces.


	35. 35

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 35?

Words: 276

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

Harry looked horrified. "I'm sorry!" he said and quickly reached out to gather up the pieces.

Reacting on pure instinct James grabbed the boy's hands, not wanting him to cut himself on the shards of ceramic. The boy pulled back as though in retaliation, as though he was expecting James to drag him by his hands. James would never do that. His baby had clicky joints and could dislocate his hips and shoulders easily. He wondered how many times the little boy had dislocated a joint because of the bastard muggles pulling him about. He wondered if they'd've taken him to a doctor. Probably not, the bones always worked their way back into place. But his little boy would have been in pain for days. Looking into the boy's frightened eyes James spoke softly, "Don't touch the pieces, baby."

"Don't send me back! I'm sorry. Please," the little boy was nearly in tears.

"Never," James shook his head, "You're never gonna go anywhere without me." He reached for his wand to mend the plate.

Overtired and worked up Harry started to cry at the use of magic. He cringed back in his seat and was too scared to take the plate from his dad.

Again, James wondered at his boy's past. The muggles had indoctrinated him against magic. He wondered how many times they had beaten him in hopes of thrashing the magic out of him. With a sigh James transferred the slice of pizza to his own plate and said softly, "Here, this one didn't have any magic done to it. Calm down, and once you've finished eating I'll give you a nice warm bath."


	36. 36

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 36?

Words: 375

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon

* * *

Everyone cheered when Harry finished a third slice of pizza. The boy was frighteningly thin and it wasn't something that had been self-imposed. He wasn't one of those kids who wouldn't eat anything. Quite the contrary, he was willing to eat anything put down in front of him. It was just that nothing much _had ever_ been put down in front of him.

He had a nice warm bath with a soothing potion in it that his dad told him was just bubble bath. Trying to prove that he didn't need help Harry made an attempt at washing himself. It was obvious that the boy had been bathing himself for quite some time as he was _almost_ proficient at scrubbing himself. When James took the flannel away from him Harry looked worried. Pausing James went through a list in his head as to why Harry would look so nervous. If that bastard had touched his little boy in what was often referred to as "the bathing suit area" he really would kill him. Fuck everything, fuck Azkaban he wouldn't go there because he wouldn't do it with magic. He'd rip the man apart with his bare hands. He couldn't bear the idea of his Harry being hurt, couldn't stand what Harry had gone through. Killing Lily's relatives wasn't a good idea because he would end up in some penitentiary. But if that bastard had molested James Potter's son he would die a horrible death and James would never feel a minute of guilt.

"What's wrong?" asked James softly.

"I can do it," said Harry reaching for the washcloth, "I don' wanna be a prob'lem. I cen do it by 'self. I's nice of you to sit wiv me."

James shut his eyes tightly. He didn't want to cry in front of his son and he felt suddenly dizzy. He hated that Harry was continually worried. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around the boy and never let go, "Baby, this is my job. Not yours. And anyway, I like washing you. It's been a long time since I got to do this." He smiled at the boy as he rubbed baby shampoo into his scalp. "What do you want to do tomorrow?"


	37. 37

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 37?

Words: 326

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon. Graphic violence Described.

* * *

Harry just looked at his dad, "We cen do wha'ever you like." He shrugged.

It occurred to James that the boy had never had the question posed to him before. He swallowed as he had a perfect vision of slamming Lily's stupid sister's bony face into a brick wall. The malnourished bones would disintegrate. The police wouldn't be able to identify her by her dental records as her teeth would be smashed in. The only identification Petunia would have was the gold band on her wrist that her sister had given her. Even though she hated Lily she always wore it, after all, it was gold. "I know," said James, "but I'd like to do what you want to do." Harry just looked at him, "Would you like to visit your grandparents?"

"They don' like me much. They like Dudley." The Evans had been so proud of Lily until they had learned that muggle born witches were being hunted. They distanced themselves from her thinking that she had brought the danger home with her. They had practically disowned her and hadn't wanted to see the baby.

"Not those ones." James lifted the boy out of the tub and started to dry him off, "My parents. They think you're grand and they haven't seen you in a while. They have a pool, and ponies. Or we could go to the playground and have a picnic, or go to the seaside and have a paddle in the sea and get ice creams. It's up to you." Harry looked so indecisive that James continued on, "We can do all of them eventually. So would you like to go to your grandparents?"

Looking very nervous Harry said, "Cen we go not tom-oh-row but the nex' day?"

"Sure, baby, what do you want to do tomorrow?"

The little boy spoke softly as though he was over stepping so line by suggesting the next day's activity, "I jus' wanna be wiv you."


	38. 38

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 38?

Words: 448

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

* * *

After putting the little boy to bed on a cot in the living room the three had decided to make it an early night and go to bed. James said softly, "Give me two minutes, ok? I just need to write a note to my parents. Getting undressed Sirius slid between the bed sheets happily. He had never expected to take off his favourite jeans ever again. He had never expected to go to bed with James ever again. And now he was watching James go through a domestic routine as his jeans laid crumpled on the floor. His lover stood dictating a letter to a quill as he unlaced his boots. "Dear Mother and Daddy, I know it's awfully short notice but was wondering if Harry and I could come for the day not tomorrow but the next day. Again I know it's short notice but he'd really like to see you and I would too. Please let me know if this is an inconvenience. Faithfully, James."

Sirius snorted, "You always sound so formal when you write letters. But there's a reason."

"Don't you dare say it's because I'm a pureblood."

"But it is."

"You're one too and you don't write like that. I was just brought up to think of them as Mother and Daddy."

"I'm not pureblooded like you. For one thing I'm not in the will." An owl flew off the wardrobe and came to rest next to Sirius. Shock washed over him as he realized the bird was Quill. While he knew that the bird was only eleven it seemed like he should have been ancient. James had received the bird for his 16th birthday. The last eleven years had been long and hard and had seemed to take an eon to pass. It didn't seem fair that the bird should still look young.

Rolling his eyes James walked over to tie the letter to the bird's leg and asked him to get to his parent's house before they had their nightcaps. Before the bird left James asked, "Do you want to come?"

"The last time I saw your mum she was shouting that it wasn't fair that I wasn't getting the dementor's kiss. So if it's all the same to you I'd rather not go." James nodded and signaled to Quill that it was time to leave the bird had flown off without complaint.

James started to pull at his robes and he said, "I'm not always articulate remember that one that just read 'Dear Mother, I _am_ a mage. I'm sorry. But fuck you if you can't cope. Love, James'? That wasn't overly formal just functional."

With a snort Sirius smiled.


	39. 39

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 39?

Words: 661 (damn that's long)

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

* * *

He remembered when he hated the Potters. He knew that James loved them but he couldn't understand it. They were never rude to their son but they were always afraid of his powers and what he was capable of. James had shrugged it off saying, "They fear the power, not me. They fear a mage, not their son." James said that they loved him but often the only contact he got with them was when they were shouting at him for a loss of control.

But then one day he finally saw it. When they were seventeen Dumbledore had called James and Lily into his office to tell them of a prophecy that said they had to wed and have a son. He said there was one other couple that had to do so as well but he hadn't named them. He told them that there wasn't an option, they would have to marry when they turned 22. Lily had raged and James had just said calmly, "I can't. I'm bonded to Sirius." Lily had looked shocked. Apparently, Dumbledore said that it wouldn't matter as they would wed in a muggle church. Lily had done more raging while James sat near catatonic.

He had left the office incapable of speech and it took close to an hour to get the story out of him. Sirius was horrified and could think of no way to help his lover so he brought him to the one place he knew James felt safe in, the Potter estate. He had led the boy out of the castle and apparated to the grounds of the old house. In quick, harried words he told Mrs. Potter what James had told him. The woman said softly. "He can't marry her. I know you two are bonded. I know that I'm not supposed to know but I do. So I don't understand how they're going to get married." Sirius had blushed deeply and told her that Dumbledore had said that didn't matter.

The woman had nodded slowly and he saw her jaw ticking as she said, "There's only one thing to do, come into the kitchen." They had sat down the table as she reached for the kettle, "Sirius, dear, I can never remember, do you take sugar?"

She had busied herself making tea as Sirius stroked James' hand. A red glow started to come off of him. It scorched the flesh of Sirius' fingers and he said softly, "Jimmy, you're hurting me. Coming back to me. Don't go there right now I need you to stay here."

The boy's eyes had cleared at his lover's words and he seemed to take in the surroundings for the first time. The red mist retreated into his body and his mother shot Sirius an approving look. She kneeled down in front of her son as she placed the tray of tea on the table and said, "James, don't worry. You'll get through this." And when her son silently started to cry she just leaned up and wrapped her arms around, stroking the back of his head. Parents have shortcomings just like everyone else. Perhaps in moments of distress she had said that she was ashamed of James because he was a mage but she loved him. And in that moment Sirius would have happily called her a goddess and proclaimed her as Queen.

It was because of this that he was glad James was going home. But he couldn't face the woman just yet _knowing_ that she had really believed he could have killed James.

James slid into bed and said softly, "Are you really tired or are you up to ravishing me?" The question was so absurdly casual. The tone said that James could have just as easily been asking the newsagent if they had a Daily Prophet.

Sirius laughed happily as he pulled James to him for a searing kiss. "I'm never too tired when it comes to you."


	40. 40

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 40?

Words: 329

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

* * *

Lying wrapped together James laughed as he pushed a sweaty hair out of Sirius' eyes. Leaning in he kissed Sirius slowly and happily. This was heaven. He stretched slowly, enjoying the feeling of his wrenched muscles. He wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and not have to think about anything for the rest of the night. 

"James?" asked Sirius softly, "Are you awake?"

"Not really. What's up?" He replied rolling onto his side so he could look at his mate.

"Do you think Remus likes us being here?"

"I think he loves it. He was so excited when we were setting up Harry's cot. I think he was thrilled to have us in one spot again."

"So what's to stop us from staying?" Sirius leaned up on one arm and said, "We all used to live together. And it doesn't seem fair to take Harry away from him. He's as much Harry's parent as I am, which is to say, not at all his parent. It doesn't seem fair that I get to spend time with Harry if he doesn't."

"Always an idealist. Life isn't fa-" he cut himself off shaking his head, "Harry needs a room. He really needs his own room, so he can stop worrying about us sending him back. And it has to be a nice room." Looking down cast he said, "Maybe we can get a big place and have Remus come live with us."

Sirius shrugged after a moment, "I was always the best in our year at transfiguration. I'll make him a room." McGonagall had never tried to teach them transfiguration on such a grand scale but if anyone could do it, it would have been Sirius as he had always excelled without trying in that subject. "I'll make it work."

After thinking for a few seconds James looked at the clock on the wall and the hands pointed to a message saying, "Remus is awake". "Let's go talk to him."


	41. 41

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 41?

Words: 98

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

* * *

James threw flannel trousers at Sirius with a laugh, "We don't want to shock him to death with your naked arse."

"I thought you liked my arse," Sirius looked at his lover with a mock pout.

"I'll worship it later but now it time to cover up." He smiled and crawled over the bed and kissed Sirius slowly as the man pulled on the trousers, "Love you."

"Love you too," said Sirius with the ghost of a smile. He was slightly nervous in talking to Remus incase he told them that he wanted his house back to himself.


	42. 42

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 42?

Words: 403

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

* * *

They snuck across the living room desperately trying to not wake the boy. Rapping lightly on Remus' door they heard a faint, "Come in," called to them. The werewolf was lying on top of the bed fully clothed. He was staring up at the ceiling as though it could give him some reasonable answer to an unreasonable question. As though he was waiting for cosmic intervention. He smiled wanly at them and motioned for them to come in as he sat up. "Is everything alright? Do you need anything?" he sounded tired and defeated somehow.

"We have a bit of a proposition for you," James said as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Sirius stayed just inside the door unsure of what to do.

"I told you in 6th year, I'm not into threesomes." Remus smiled at his two friends in a slightly apologetic way.

"No, Moony, it's not like that," James smiled, "We were wondering if you would like us to stay here. . . forever."

The man clearly saw it as a pity thing and replied softly, "I'll be fine, James, don't worry."

Sirius didn't want to watch his lover bollocks things up. Sometimes James didn't seem able to judge situations quite right and this seemed to be one of those times. "Remus," he said in an equally soft tone, "We all used to live together, before Lily and James had to go into hiding. They were good times." Remus winced at his lover's name but Sirius forged onwards, "Harry likes you and you're obviously fond of him. It just seemed like a good idea. Feel free to say no if you like your current arrangement. We can just get a place and visit each other lots and lots of times." He saw a myriad of emotions play out on his friend's face and he turned to James and said, "Would you please check on Harry? I think we might have woken him coming in here."

Knowing when he was being asked for a moment of privacy James just nodded and left. Sirius still hadn't moved from his position from the door. Speaking in a tone only Remus could hear he said, "You can say no. Maybe it's a bad idea: making you look at her son every day."

"It's not that I'm worried about." Remus shook his head as though he was throwing off the notion physically.


	43. 43

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 43?

Words: 369

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

* * *

Remus said he didn't have a problem with looking at Harry. But he clearly had a reservation about having James and Sirius move in. Did he have a problem looking at someone else? Sirius felt sick but he forced himself to act the question that he'd been wondering about ever since he'd gotten out of the cars hours before. "Do you hate me?" He then added onto the thought in a quick pace before his friend could reply, "It's ok if you do. You can tell me. I think I would hate you if our rolls were reversed. If you got Lily back and James was dead I would resent you so badly. And I would hate myself for thinking it but I would hate you. And I don't think I would let you live in my house because I think it would drive me mad. You can tell me the truth, it's fine. This was a really stupid idea, I just thought that maybe we could all live together and be happy again. And I'm sorry."

"I should have known it was your idea. James is too busy obsessing over Lily's relatives to think about living arrangements." He smiled reminiscently, "I don't hate you. I've grieved for Lily, I _knew_ she was dead. I've had three years to move on. You were in that awful place unsure if he was still alive. You spent three years agonizing. I can't begrudge you happiness now. And I don't think you would hate me. Not if our rolls really were reversed. If I had spent three years there. . . you couldn't hate me for getting my life back. I don't want you to leave. Yeah, it might sting to see you and James happy together but it would hurt much more if I lost you both. Or if you were both miserable. I like seeing you happy I want you here. I lost my family that day. I've been as good as dead for the last three years. I don't want to lose you again."

"But," Sirius said slowly, "you have a reservation, before you looked unsure about all this."

"No, it's just, where's Harry going to sleep?" Remus laughed.


	44. 44

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 44?

Words: 414

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

NOTE: Lemonade in England means Sprite or 7up. Lemonade does not mean a drink made from lemons, water, and sugar.

* * *

"We've already discussed that. I'm gonna transfigure him one. I'll just bend the wall space between our rooms and put a new one there. The house won't look any different from the outside. Is that ok?" Sirius really wanted Remus to be pleased with the idea. He wanted Remus to be happy. When he and James had entered the room the man had looked dejected and Sirius assumed he had been thinking about when his friends would abandon him again.

"Are you up to that? I mean, that's serious stuff."

"Well my name is Serious Black," joked Sirius, "I'll be fine," he added honestly, "I'm good in a pinch."

"But you've been out of commission for three years," Remus looked worried but at the same time it was obvious from his tone that he wanted Sirius to convince him. He liked the idea it just went against his better judgment he needed his friend to "talk him into it". He could then go along with the idea without having any guilt for the fact that he was condoning semi dangerous magic.

"Who kicked arse on the NEWT for transfiguration? And who didn't even sit the test since he was too afraid to see how badly he'd fail (as he hadn't prepared at all) because he was too busy wooing Miss. Evans? I think we'll be trusting my judgment on this subject."

Remus laughed and said, "Ok, I give in. Do you need things? Should I make a list?"

All he needed was his wand and that had been returned to him by the Ministry who had kept it locked with all his other personal items for the duration of his prison stay. "Yes," he said in a somber tone, "you should make a list, it's quite complicated." He counted off his needs on his fingers, "I need a some preemptive pain meds (because this is gonna be a strain after three years of sitting on my arse in Azkaban), bottle of Fanta, a bottle of lemonade, a carton of fags, and a pint bottle of gin."

"I don't think you should mix liquor, medication, and magic."

"Which one of us got the NEWT?"

"Fine but: if you blow a hole in my wall you'll be paying for refurbishments."

"Don't be silly," Remus waited for his friend to say that everything would be perfect and was surprised when Sirius said cheerfully, "You know I'm stone broke, James will pay for the damage."

Remus smiled widely.


	45. 45

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 45?

Words: 266

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

* * *

As Sirius walked out of Remus' bedroom after bidding him goodnight he was surprised to see James sitting on the floor by Harry's bed. Getting closer he saw the silhouette of the little boy sitting up. He stubbed his toe on something and in the dark he couldn't see what it was but he hissed in pain. The silhouette head shot towards him and Harry said softly, "I'm sorry. I didn' mean t' wake ever'one up."

When he got closer to the boy he saw tears running down his face as James sat stroking his arm, "I wasn't asleep," said Sirius as he came to kneel by the pair, "What's wrong, Harry?"

"I hads a nigh'mare. But I's ok. You cen go back to bed. I'll be goods. I won't make any noise." Harry looked fearfully at the two men. He laid back down and pretended rather pathetically to be asleep.

In the dim light Sirius could make out James who was sitting stoically. He could see that the man couldn't talk as his jaw was clenched and ticking slightly. Sometimes he looked so like his mother. "Harry, would you tell me about your dream?"

It was a direct request and Harry felt he had to answer even if he didn't want to, "Daddy went away and lef' me." James winced but Harry kept talking, "An' I had t' go live wiv my Auntie and Uncle. And theys wasn't happy 'bout it. An' then I was cookin' breakfas' fer thems and I ruined the bacon. An' Uncle Vernon saids tha' tha' was the reason Daddy lefts!"


	46. 46

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 46?

Words: 299

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

* * *

That finally spurned James into talking and he said, "Harry, I could never leave you. They are horrible people and I would never ever leave you with them ever again. You will never see them again."

"But ifs I was very bad you might!" The little boy nearly wailed the statement.

"No, There is nothing you could do short of killing someone that would ever make me anything but proud." James sounded so authoritative that even Sirius felt somehow more secure at hearing the words.

The little boy's lip trembled as he said, "My Auntie Petunia saids tha' I killed-ed Mummy. She saids we was in a acid-ent and tha' Mummy was holdin' me so she dieds."

"She's wrong, Harry, nothing was your fault," James sat on the bed and pulled the child into his lap. He seemed calmer now that he was touching his son, "Why don't you come sleep with me and Sirius? Sirius is an expert at keeping nightmares away. We'll just cuddle up and you'll get some sleep."

Again Harry looked contemplative as though afraid of consequences he said, "My Auntie Petunia saids tha' only s-boiled kids get cuddled. She saids tha' cuddles make kids go rotten."

"I bet she had no problem cuddling her brat," James said with a bitter edge. The woman had justified not touching the child so well that she had made Harry scared of affection.

"Yes! An' Dudley's ah-ful."

"It has nothing to do with if he gets cuddled," said James and he realized that Sirius had been quiet for too long.

He looked towards his lover just as the man said, "Your Auntie Petunia is a cunt. She is stupid and everything she said was wrong and lies. C'mon. Let's all go climb into bed. It won't spoil you."


	47. 47

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 47?

Words: 280

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

For My Red Headed Goddess. I'm only doing this so that I can tap you at some point.

* * *

James felt he should reprimand Sirius for saying cunt in front of the four year old. But he just couldn't bring himself to say anything because he had been thinking it. He opened his mouth to try and say not to use the word but as he looked at Sirius he couldn't do it. The man's eyes were burning with righteous anger. A wave of love swept over James and if he hadn't been sitting he would have fallen over.

Before Harry was born he had worried that his mate would resent a child who wasn't theirs. He had been scared of Sirius disliking the little boy because James adored him. And now, the man looked as though he was ready to kill anything that ever hurt the boy. Were it not for the presence of his son James would have thrown the man down and ravaged his body right there on the bloody carpet.

"Jimmy?" James looked up at his name. He hadn't realized that he'd wandered off in his thoughts. Sirius was standing by their bedroom door. The light pouring from the room framed him and he looked like some vagabond angel. He stood with the little boy resting on his hip and said with a little, understanding laugh, "Coming to bed or are you gonna sit there grinning to yourself all night?"

Standing slowly James moved to follow the pair just as Harry asked rather uncharacteristically loudly, "What's a cunt?"

He wasn't positive but James pretty sure he heard Remus laughing behind his closed door. "Your aunt is one. And you're never to use that word," he said and crossed over to them shaking his head ruefully.


	48. 48

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 48?

Words: 327

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

To MRHG, you're amazing.

* * *

"As an expert on nightmares I think you should drink a nice, warm glass of chocolate milk," said Sirius as he put the little boy down in the center of the bed. 

"Cen it be pink miwk?" said Harry looking worried at the request, "I yike pink miwk."

"Pink milk, like strawberry? I can do that," Sirius nodded. With a flick of his wand he conjured up a plastic sippy cup filled with warm strawberry milk. He tried to hand it to Harry but the toddler was reluctant to take it. All the progress Remus had made with the marshmallows seemed to have evaporated with the broken plate. Now, after his nightmare, he seemed even more skittish. Sirius took a sip and said, "Look, it won't hurt you." The child took the cup but was clearly reluctant to actually drink it. With a small sigh Sirius nodded to the teddy bear Harry had been clutching ever since he woke up, "Who's that?"

"Davy," said the little boy holding the bear closer.

"He belonged to your mummy," said Sirius softly seeing the initials LE embroidered into the bear's bum. Lily used to sleep with the bear on her bed. James had thought it was weird and sighted it as the reason why he didn't date women "'cause you're all so fucking weird". Lily had laughed and said that she thought the reason was that Sirius would rip his throat out if James ever looked at a woman.

"His stuffin's fallin' out bu' my Auntie Petunia saids I couldn's have a needle of fix him 'cause I'd stab someone wiv it," Harry observed as he turned the bear so Sirius could see the split seam running down the toy's back.

"Well we all know what your auntie is, don't we?" Harry nodded a little, "I'll fix him for you, give him here." He reached out for the bear and the little boy had handed him over without a word.


	49. 49

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 49?

Words: 334

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

The MRHG is a greedy hoe. But she's still in the will.

* * *

Running his wand up the bear's back caused the seam to reseal itself. He also conjured some extra stuffing into it and banished the germs that were living on the filthy toy. He looked up from his work and expected to see a pleased Harry sitting in front of him. Instead the boy looked absolutely petrified. Sirius nodded to himself, "I bet you love Davy, don't you?" he asked the boy. 

Harry worried his lip. In the past when he'd admitted to liking things they got taken away from him later as punishment. But Sirius had asked him a direct question so he just nodded.

"I bet he loves you too," said Sirius tapping the bear on the nose with his wand.

The bear turned his head to look at Sirius and then as Davy realized whose lap he was sitting on he stood up on his little bear legs and scampered back to Harry. Once he had climbed into Harry's lap he cuddled into the boy and leaned up to kiss Harry on the cheek. The little boy looked positively thrilled as the bear stroked his face. He sipped at his milk absentmindedly. Sirius looked up to his lover who was still standing next to the bed. James wasn't smiling. He looked so angry as he breathed slowly, still unwilling to allowing himself to cry in front of his son. Feeling James' anger through the bond made Sirius feel dizzy and as it combined with his own anger his head started to ache.

James climbed slowly into bed and the little boy moved over to him like a heat drawn missile. Sirius extinguished the candles with his wand and Harry didn't complain. But James felt his son tense and asked softly, "Are you afraid of the dark?"

"I's fine. My Auntie Petunia saids tha' light costs money," Harry said but his voice was trembling.

Without a word Sirius relit the three candles in the far corner of the room. "Better?"

"Much, fank you."


	50. 50

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 50?

Words: 553

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG you're a sweet girl, you can have a Maria's pocket money because she's decided you're not friends anymore as she doesn't know that a top is. I swear I'll go to bed soon.

* * *

James stayed half awake throughout the night. He wanted to be able to soothe Harry if he had another nightmare. But he didn't, Sirius did. The man was shaking slightly and sweat was gathering on his upper lip. James reached out to wake him but as he touched his mate he got pulled into the dream. It seemed that the bond was working overtime to compensate for lost years. He used to always be aware of when Sirius was having a nasty dream but he'd never been brought into one before. Unsure of how to act he tried to be cautious. Looking around he saw that he was in Sirius' cell in Azkaban and that the man was cowering in the corner muttering. After slight hesitation he went to kneel by his lover. 

"Hey, Sear, this is a nightmare. It's not real."

"Fucking specter," Sirius muttered as he looked up at James, "I had a dream. I had him again. And Harry, and Remus, and safety."

"I need you to wake up for me. I'm real, this isn't. If you wake up you'll see and I'll smile at you."

"If you're real," said Sirius clearly thinking he'd found a hole in James' logic, "You can shake me awake."

"I can't. I think the bond's gone into hyper drive or something. I'm stuck here with you until you wake up." James wrapped his arms around Sirius and said, "Please, don't believe this. It's all in your mind. Remember when you told me that the evil you in my head was my power and not really my mind? And I didn't believe you for the longest time? This is the same but. . . not. I'm real not in your head. Wake up and I'll give you the necking of a lifetime. WAKE UP!" As he shouted he felt himself being forced out of Sirius' mind and into his own body.

He was left gasping for breath and staring into Sirius' scared grey eyes. Leaning over his son James kissed the man so forcefully that he saw stars. The kiss tasted of salt from tears and sweat and Sirius' eyes were tightly shut as though he was afraid of looking at James. And as he pulled back James realized that Sirius was muttering something softly, "I'm so sorry. God, Christ. Sorry."

"For what, love?" asked James worriedly.

"I'm mad. And I brought it into your house and bed with your son." Sirius couldn't look at his mate as the stinging tears ran down his face. "I thought on the boat when we were leaving Azkaban that I was gonna be totally sane again."

"Sigh, you aren't crazy. You're scared and nervous. And you're not 'bringing it into my bed'. It's our bed and you're mine and you'll never be in anyone else's bed." He smiled a little as Sirius calmed down slightly, "Silly, beautiful boy." He pulled Sirius over closer to the centre of the bed so that he was closer to James and Harry. The boy was nestled between them and James rested his hand on Sirius' hip. "Go back to sleep and just remember that I'm right here." Sirius nodded silently and shut his eyes slowly. "My silly, beautiful boy," he whispered happily and Sirius smiled slightly as he fell back into sleep.


	51. 51

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 51?

Words: 150

Warnings: I laid off the angst in this chapter 'cause Prongs need a little respite. Non-canon.

MRHG rocks my socks (and might take me to health services if my body doesn't perk up).

* * *

In his sleep Harry moved around an awful lot. So when James felt the little boy go still for a prolonged period he opened his eyes. The little boy was clearly trying to not wake the older men but James just smiled and said. "Should we let Sirius sleep and go make brekka?" 

"I'm good at breakfas'!" said Harry excitedly as he clambered out of bed.

Laughing softly James said, "You don't need to do anything but eat, Harry." He picked his son up not wanting to make the little boy walk on the cold floor with no slippers on. He needed to get the boy some slippers, and clothes that fit him, and so many other things that the little boy had never had. As he walked through the living room he watched the little boy who was still clinging to Davy the teddy bear. "How did Davy sleep?"


	52. 52

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 52?

Words: 430

Warnings: Little bit o' Remus angst. Non-canon.

"If two hot guys are touching each other then a) you aren't threatened and b) it's just hawt."-MRHG on why gay porn has hotter boys than straight porn.

* * *

Setting his son down at the table James looked into the fridge. It was obvious from the contents of the fridge and freezer that Remus wasn't living well. There were no vegetables or fruit in sight and all the food seemed to have been there for quite a while, being rationed out. With a sigh he took out some eggs and sausages and shut the door on the practically empty refrigerator. He looked and saw that Remus did have bread and some tins of baked beans and said, "Let's have a bit of a fry up, shall we?" 

"I cen help!" said Harry and he looked desperate to do just that. It was obvious that the little boy was trying to prove his usefulness again.

Not wanting the little boy feel inadequate James said, "There's something you can do. Do you like juice or milk more?"

Harry answered slowly not seeing any significance in the question, "I yike juice. But I cen fry the sauce-ages fer you."

The little boy couldn't speak correctly yet but he knew how to use a stove. James saw the little scars on his son's arms that had clearly been caused by hot spitting fat. "I bet you can because you're such a clever boy. But it would really help me if you could drink a nice big glass of juice. What kind of juice do you like?" he knew that Remus had none in the house but he could conjure some. The secret to conjuring up food was to not try and create the food but instead to call it from some place else. When they'd been at school they used to conjure things from the kitchen. Sirius could conjure up whole meals from Grimmauld Place that had been cooked for his mother. He'd done it purely out of spite and rarely actually ate the food.

"I yike b'ackcurrant."

"Lot's of vitamin C," said James as he flicked his wrist and pointed to an empty glass. It filled up with Ribena that had previously been living in the Potter's pantry. James figured his mother wouldn't begrudge her grandson a drink. The drink had nothing but sugar, calories, and copious amounts of vitamin C. But he didn't care about it's nutritional value. He just wanted Harry to drink something he liked. So what if the drink had nothing to do with actually blackcurrants? So what if the closest Ribena ever got to the fruit was the picture of blackcurrants on the label? It didn't really matter though, thought James, as Harry drank the juice happily.


	53. 53

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 53?

Words: 215

Warnings: no angst… not much of anything really. Non-canon.

MRHG- I hope today isn't too hard. And I hope I don't die in the city.

* * *

The little boy helped James carry food into the bedroom. Smiling the man woke Sirius with a gentle kiss to the forehead, "Breakfast in bed. Keep Harry company while he eats? I need a word with Moony." 

Sirius just nodded groggily as he sat up and dug into his own plate of food. With another smile at the pair James went back to the kitchen to make up plates for Remus and himself. A knock at the werewolf's door garnered a swift reply, "Come in."

"Hey, I made breakfast," he said as he walked in with the tray.

"Morning," said Remus as he sat up slowly, "What's going on?"

"Well, Harry wants a nice quiet day but I thought we'd pop out to do some shopping and get some movies. I think I'll pop into the grocers, is there anything specific you want or should I just do basics?"

"Um. . . whatever you want," said Remus not fully awake. He could see James wanted to say something else so he prompted gently, "Yeah?"

"Did you think about Sirius and I said last night?" asked James softly.

"Sear didn't tell you? I think it's a great idea and I'd love for you to move in here."

"Wow, great. Erm. . . there's something else then."


	54. 54

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 54?

Words: 429

Warnings: Father angst. Non-canon.

MRHG- you do love me deep down.

* * *

James kept eating as though he hadn't said anything. He couldn't look up at his friend because he knew he would have to continue his thought. 

"James, what is it?" prompted Remus.

"You can say no, it's just. . . I trust you. If anything happens I'd really like Harry to be able to stay here."

"I," Remus started slowly and then rethought his statement before speaking. "When you're not here Harry is safest with Lily's relatives. I think-"

"Tell that to the scared little boy covered in scars! I would rather take my chances and leave him with two kind and capable wizards than those people. I know you could take care of him. And I know you would do anything to protect him. Look, I'm asking an awful lot. I know it's dangerous and I can understand why you might say no. But just think about it."

"James, I'm not worried about Sirius or me, just Harry." He thought about it. He knew that the spell Lily had used was ambiguous at best. Her love would protect her son so long as he was with her family. But who was to say that Remus and Sirius hadn't been her family? They had loved her dearly, more so than her real family. And nothing in the spell or potion she's used actually stated that the relationship had to be forged in blood: that part was just assumed. "Ok," he said after a long pause, "So what were you thinking?"

"Are you sure? It's a lot to ask."

"Shut up, James, don't make me say I love you."

With a little laugh James put another forkful of food in his mouth. "Well, I was thinking that if you sold a third of the house to Sirius and a third to me it would be a start."

"You're sure you're not just trying to give me some money?"

"I would do that. And it's a definite perk, but no. Harry needs a secure home. Then there are some papers we can sign that name you both as guardians."

"Guardians in the event of your death," said Remus bitterly.

"No, just guardians." James smiled at him, "A secure home, like I said."

"You've grown up," said Remus with an answering smile. "You would never have done this four years ago. Danger and uncertainty are supposed to be fun, remember?"

"Not when he's on the line," James looked slightly offended at his friend's words, reminding him of his reckless past.

"Hold the presses! James Potter just grew up!" And they both laughed.


	55. 55

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 55?

Words: 265

Warnings: Non-canon.

MRHG- I'm so glad she's the ex-cunt (I mean girlfriend) because now we can all admit to hating her! Hope your day is nice.

* * *

He left Remus when the other man decided that he would come with them to the shops. They would go to Diagon Alley, do all the legal stuff and then do a quick shop and come home. Taking the tray with their plates James went to check on Harry and Sirius. They were sitting in bed talking. Both of them had finished breakfast and Sirius was saying, "Do you want anything else, buddy? There's plenty of everything." 

"No," said Harry happily, "I'm full."

"Well then I think we should get you dressed," Sirius sounded happy at having been left alone with the boy. It sounded like he was playing at being dad and was enjoying pretending to have some responsibility for the child. James cleared his throat and Sirius turned to him with a burning smile.

"I'm just here to get plates," said James as he picked up the plates and cleaned them by simply pointing his wand at them and muttering, "scourgify." He turned to Harry as Sirius was helping him with his shirt and said, "Harry? How does this sound for today: we'll pop into town to do a bit of shopping, clothes and such, and then we'll come back here and watch movies. Does that sound good?" Harry nodded quickly looking very pleased at the prospect of a day spent in the presence of his dad. "Sirius? Will you come too? I want to sign custody of Harry over to you and Remus. And I thought we could each buy a third of the house off of him."

Sirius' happy smile faltered.


	56. 56

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 56?

Words: 506

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG- Ding dong, the cunt is dead. The mean old cunt. The wicked cunt.

* * *

"What's wrong?" asked James slowly. He thought Sirius would be happy at the prospect of adopting Harry.

"I have no money," said Sirius acting as though it was a totally casual conversation. "I'm broke."

James laughed heartily. "No."

"The Ministry seizes the assets of any prisoner who is given a life sentence. They put the money towards public works."

"Thanks for the lesson in modern government." James smiled to himself, "Here's a lesson for you in pureblooded snobbery, if you don't want to give money to the government they don't get it. The Blacks like to give big monetary gifts to the Ministry. What they _don't _want is for the Ministry to make a scene by taking money away from them. And as they've given so much money to the government the Minister and his cronies ignored your small fortune in Gringotts."

"Did it collect interest?" asked Sirius with a glean in his eyes.

James laughed, "I guess it's not quite such a _small _fortune by now."

Having been watching with rapt attention Harry had heard them discussing houses and asked, "Wher 're we gonna go afder dis?"

"To the shops," said James not really understanding the question.

"But afder we weave here. Are we's gonna get a house of our owns?"

No," James shook his head slowly and spoke in a soft tone to his boy, "We're gonna live here. We've got to go to the bank and sign some papers. But then this will be your home forever and you'll live with me and Sirius and Remus 'til you're a grown up. Sirius is gonna make you of your own room today."

"And a bathroom to share with us," added Sirius distractedly as he tried ineptly to brush the little boy's hair down. He was smiling at the thick brown curls. It felt good to play at being a real adult. Finally giving up on taming the unruly locks he lent down to kiss the top of the boy's head but he found himself caught in a tight hug.

"Fank you," said Harry, "I've never hads a woom beefor."

Sirius smiled sadly into the warm hair. It wasn't something that should have made Harry so grateful. He just hugged the little boy in return.

James went to search for the boy's trainers but when he found them he paused. There were holes worn through the soles and they were at least a size too small for Harry. He had seen his son's strange gait and he now realized that his son's feet must have hurt when pinched tightly in the tiny shoes. "New plan. We go to Diagon Alley, we get done with the bank as quickly as possible and then we buy shoes. We can get out of the bank in under a half hour. The goblins don't like dealing with people much." Harry gasped and James added very quickly, "Even though goblins are very nice people. Some of my best friends are goblins. You're not gonna wear shoes, I'll just carry you."


	57. 57

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 57?

Words: 594

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon. I'M COMPLETELY IGNORING HBP.

MRHG- I adore you. Just don't hurt me. Because then you won't get pocket money. (And forget fanfic, YOU'RE more important than con work)

* * *

The little boy was sitting on his dad's lap sucking an everlasting ice lolly, it never melted, never diminished and whenever the eater got bored it changed its flavour. The ice was currently dark purple, staining Harry's mouth an endearing shade of black. Wafts of fake blackcurrant flavour were assaulting James' nose. Nuzzling the top of the little boy's head he watched as his two closest friends signed the custody papers he had arranged to be drawn up. It took less than twenty minutes to sign the guardian papers and the deed to the house, James was pleased that goblins disliked spending time with wizards or else it surely would have taken longer. 

The ride down to the vaults thrilled Harry who sat between Remus and Sirius laughing with unfettered glee. James took two bags of gold from his vault, one because he needed some money and one which he handed directly to Remus saying, "12,334 galleons. That's a third of the house."

"No," said Remus trying to push back the bag, "That's way too much."

"For a three bedroom with two bathrooms and three toilets in Kent?" asked James raising an eyebrow, "This is fair."

"It's not. It's two bedrooms and one bathroom with two toilets,' Remus said shaking his head.

With a little laugh Sirius said, "Not when I'm finished with it." He saw Harry who was standing looking longingly at the cart. His lolly was now a very pale pink and Sirius said, "Someone wants another ride. We still need to go to my vault and yours so stop bickering."

The trip to Sirius' vault was much the same save for the fact that when he opened the door gold actually fell out into the hallway. He too retrieved two bags one of which he handed to Remus and hushed the werewolf before he could protest.

Remus' vault was different. It was located much more deeply within the catacombs of the bank. It seemed that no one ever bother to light any lamps down in the heart of the building and there was a thick layer of dust and cobwebs over everything. When Remus opened the large door into his vault it creaked ominously as though it were about to fall off its hinges. There was a tiny pile of gold in the center of the room. Remus tried to keep his back to the door as he poured the gold out of the two bags his friends had given him so as to obscure their view of the nearly empty room. He didn't want them to know about the wretched turn his life had taken. He pocketed 200 galleons and left the rest of his assets to sit in the bank and collect some interest. The room was fuller than it had been in years and the surfaces suddenly looked much cleaner, as though the building itself hadn't been bothered to deal with upkeep of a worthless room but felt the need once there was some wealth stored there.

Turning back to his friends he saw that they were looking into the room despite his efforts to keep the view cloistered away from them. Sirius was looking at him with studying eyes and he said, "I just don't put much money in here. I live," he was about to say 'hand to mouth' but realized that the phrase wouldn't comfort Sirius and so instead said, "fine. I'm fine." He saw that both the men were still watching him closely and he said, "Harry needs shoes," and walked to the cart.


	58. 58

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 58?

Words: 269

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG- Some people scare me.

* * *

As they walked along Diagon Alley they saw a news vendor selling the Daily Prophet. There was a large picture of James and Sirius. Both were much younger and smirking at each other. The headline ran "Black Cleared by Potter Himself" Underneath it had the page numbers of related articles.

The title "Dumbledore's Reaction" caught Sirius' attention and he snorted, "Who gives a knut what he thinks?" He saw Remus flinch and he said, "What? You honestly think he can say anything about it? How dare he! Do you know what said to me?"

Remus sighed and said, "Yeah, I do."

"And you still value anything he has to say?"

"Maybe you should read the article?" suggested Remus gently. Sirius gave him a dark look and Remus said, "All the evidence said you'd killed them. I don't think he was angry at you so much as himself. He thought that he could protect us all and instead it seemed we were crumbling from the inside. He was frightened and grieving. He asked you if he had condemned James to death by aiding your bonding, right?" Sirius nodded, "Well there, he was frightened that he was truly to blame."

"He said I was like my father!"

"We all say and do things we regret. He placed Harry in a place where he _knew_ the boy would survive, he kept the Order going, he tried to do what was right." Remus shrugged, "I'll shut up, I'm just saying: I don't think you should be so quick to write him off."

Sirius sighed heavily and then bought a newspaper off the merchant.


	59. 59

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 59?

Words: 461

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

Note: Because of this story I had to go out today to bloody, overpriced Gary's Gourmet to buy some Ribena. It cost me $6.38. I hate import tax. But all I could think of was how badly I was craving blackcurrant and why is everything that is coloured purple in America grape flavoured?

MRHG- I like Ribena, bitca.

* * *

James picked out some shoes with Harry that the boy liked. They were hunting green and tan. And the laces had little stars all over them. Harry was impressed with the way the stars twinkled and said softly, "Aunty Petunia was wrong 'cause magic is goods!" That more than anything else made James smile widely.

They did most of there grocery shopping in a small wizarding supermarket. Harry seemed slightly saddened that they had to chuck out his ice-lolly as he hadn't finished it but they bought pumpkin juice for Harry to sip at while he sat in the cart with Davy and they did a "big shop" filling up an entire trolley. It was decided that they would have to go to a muggle supermarket as well because Sirius was still going on about needing bottles of Fanta and Tango (he'd added to the list) to transfigure the room. When asked what sort of cereal he liked Harry said he liked Weetabix but then as he realized that there were no Weetabix on the shelf he tried to back peddle, saying that he would have Merlin Os instead, but James just told him in a reassuring tone that they would go to a muggle shop in a little bit.

They stopped in at Madam Malkin's to buy Harry some robes because James could just see his mother's face if her grandson wasn't wearing robes when they went to the house. At Quality Quidditch Supplies James bought a very small broom saying that one was never too young to start riding a broom. They went to a movie store and rented a couple of films that James cajoled Harry into picking. With a flick of three wands the numerous bags of shopping were sent back to the house and the groceries were put away in their respective places in the kitchen.

In muggle London they went to another clothes shop to buy Harry some play clothes. The little boy was desperately trying to pick as few articles of clothing as possible. He was trying to "not be a bover" again. But James just started throwing things into the cart that he saw Harry's eyes linger on. James paid with the muggle money he had gotten at the exchange desk in Gringotts. At the grocer's they bought Jaffa Cakes, Ribena, Weetabix, a selection of Walkers crisps, and all the orange flavoured soft drinks Sirius could want.

After all there shopping was done they went back to the Leaky Cauldron to use the floo system to get home. Harry seemed to find riding the floo system as thrilling as the carts in Gringotts and as they zoomed towards home all James could hear was the laughter of the little boy he was holding.


	60. 60

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 60?

Words: 283

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG- why is the format all fucked up on this?

* * *

Davy, however, did not seem to find traveling by floo to be  
fun. By the time they stepped out of their own fireplace Harry's  
face was going blue because the teddy bear was hugging his neck so  
tightly he was cutting off the child's air supply. James had to pull  
the bear out of his strangle hold on Harry. It was obvious that the  
bear was frightened.

But James was absolutely livid. He had thought that  
Sirius had simply animated the bear; he hadn't realized that the  
bear was actually conscious. What if Davy had been mean spirited? He  
could have hurt Harry in the night. The thing with its awake mind  
had spent the night in their bed.

As Sirius stepped out of the hearth James said  
crisply, "Sirius? A moment please?" Sirius followed his lover  
bemusedly into the kitchen. Once there James whispered angrily, "You  
gave Davy an actual mind?"

"What of it?"

"What of it?" repeated James angrily, "What if it had turned  
out he didn't like Harry? What if Harry had scruffed him about too  
much and the creature wanted revenge?"

"Baby," said Sirius slowly, "He's Lily's bear: how could he  
not love her very broken little son? He was there at the Dursley, he  
watched the boy get abused. Look, it's no worse than a puppy. He has  
no teeth to bite and not enough of a mind to ever kill, which  
doesn't seem to be in his disposition anyway. He's just a companion.  
He'll protect Harry and make him happy. Calm down, he's not a  
threat."

They went back into the living room to find Harry, Davy, and  
a rather sooty Remus looking through the shopping bags.


	61. 61

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 61?

Rating: I for innocent with a touch on intoxication.

Words: 369

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG wants to write a dedication, you're not allowed. I'm sorry sweetheart. . . now I feel sort of guilty. Fuck it, here she is.MRHG in her own words:

In the eternal words of Rasputin: "It's okay, Alexei, we'll play our games tomorrow. Now, get on your knees."

* * *

James handed his little boy a cup of Ribena, put a bowl of crisps next to him, and sat down with a heavy sigh, "We ready for the first movie?" 

Harry smiled and nodded but then said, "Daddy, Remus doesn' have a telly. How's we gonna watch a movie?"

"We don't need a telly. . . what's a telly?" James was confused by Harry's words.

"I's what you watch movies wiv."

"Oh. . . well, these are magical," James shrugged. "We don't need a. . . telly." James put "Davis and Johnny's Magical Day" on the coffee table.

The movie was a small, complicated metal contraption shaped somewhat like a clock with a flag pole on top. James touched the spire with his wand and said a simple catalyst charm. The contraption seemed to shrink and then burst open with activity. The Spire split to reveal a lens that pointed up to the ceiling. The image hit the ceiling, reflected back to the lens and broke into a thousand pieces causing a multi dimensional image to appear midair.

A boy was on a broom and the wind that was driving the lad could be felt and James' hair flew into his face, "I hate trailers. Just show us the movie, you stupid thing." He pressed his wand into a softer piece of the machine that looked to be made out of a mix of mercury and mist. The image went at triple speed until James was satisfied and allowed it to resume it normal pace. A woman smiled at them from what appeared to be a kitchen table as a "ding" was heard. She stood and called over her shoulder, "Davis and Johnny! Your birthday cake's ready!" She pulled a fully iced cake out of the oven, it smelled delicious to Harry, and turning to James and him she said, "My twin are turning 15 today! And they don't know they're getting new brooms!"

Seeing that Harry was totally engulfed by the scene James turned to watch Sirius. The man was sitting cross legged on the floor. One hand was touching the wall he was staring at the other was holding a bottle of gin and a lit fag.


	62. 62

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 62?

Words: 456

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG- You are so mean at times. Oh well, that's why I'm fond ofyou.

* * *

He smiled as he watched the man caress the wall and then reach for his wand. He loved watching Sirius working: he was magnificent. But suddenly, as he drew his wand over the wall in a straight line, Sirius' head dropped. The wizard swallow twice before opening his eyes. The wall was expanding rapidly and suddenly there was a doorway. The wall was still solid but now a frame was set into it. Sirius opened his eyes wide and he looked slightly pained. 

Gently lifting Harry off his lap and putting him down on the couch James called, "Sigh? You alright?"

"Come 'er for a mo'?" asked Sirius while breathing labouredly. James went over quickly and dropped to his knees. "I need a tad bit more power. I thought I was up to it, but. . . The room's behind here I just need to break through."

"Of course," said James.

"You don' need of do this," said Harry. His attention had drifted from the movie which had paused upon sensing that no one was watching it. Eyes wide with fear, he continued, "I's very kind of you. Bu' I'm fine. I don't want to be-"

"A bother," Sirius interrupted, "I know, it's really not a problem, sweetheart." But for all his brave words he was paler than he should have been. "I want to give you a room, buddy, it's just hard." James stroked his face gently. Focusing on his mate Sirius leaned in and kissed the mage slowly. It was painfully sweet and tender as power strummed between them.

Remus walked in and was greeted with the sight of his two friends apparently making out on the floor while the four year old watched with interest. He felt an electrical charge in the air and smiled slightly, he _knew _that Sirius wasn't going to be able to pull off the transfiguration without help. He sat down besides Harry and took a handful of crisps. Harry turned to him and asked, "Cen you do that?"

"Share power?" Remus asked ascertaining the point of the question. Harry nodded and Remus said, "Well, yeah, sort of. I can, but you have to be very close to a person to share like that."

"Could you do it wiv Mummy?"

"No," Remus said softly, "we weren't close enough. I'm more likely to be able to share with them," he nodded to the pair. "It's not all about love. It's also connections and the way you think. Your mum and I weren't as connected as your Dad and Sirius: their married and have known each other since they were very young."

"They're ma-weed? But they're boys."

"Yeah," Remus nodded, "but that doesn't really matter if you love each other."


	63. 63

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 63?

Words: 332

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

NOTE: I love crappy kid's movies!

MRHG- You aren't my little sister. But I wish you were because Mercy's been pissing me off recently.

* * *

Harry returned his interest to the movie. The woman started telling the boys to fetch something from the garden and winked at Harry, he understood: the brooms were in the garden. It was an exciting movie and he was enjoying it. His dad had bought him a broom but it scared him a little. But if his dad helped him it might be fun. His dad was probably good at it, his dad was good at everything. A loud crack sounded behind him and he turned to see a doorway. Excitement washed over him but he didn't move. Maybe Sirius wasn't done, he didn't want to upset the man by interfering.

"What're your favourite colours, Har?" asked Sirius sounding tired.

"I yike green and sliver."

"Green and silver?" repeated Sirius looking surprised.

"Is that bad?" asked Harry, "I yike lo's of udder colours too."

"No, it's fine, I just wasn't prepared for that."

"My son is a Slytherin," James said softly but Sirius hushed him and touched the door.

With a sigh Sirius sounded sick as he pushed open the door, "Have a look, Har, tell me what you think."

Harry glanced in and his mouth dropped open. "I's huge!" he said with wonder. It was ten by ten but the boy was thrilled. He looked at the window and saw that it was much sunnier outside his pretend window than it actually was outside. The green walls and sliver woodwork gleamed and he had a real bed and a side table with a green lamp and his clothes were hanging up in the open closet. "I's great."

"You don't want anything changed?" asked Sirius even though he wasn't really up to modifying the room right then.

"No, i's lovely."

"Great, good," Sirius leaned into James' side. "I think I'm gonna take a nap," he said sliding his fags into his pocket and picking up the Fanta and gin, "I'm gonna go lay down. . . and possibly throw up. Excuse me."


	64. 64

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 64?

Words: 263

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG- You wish your mom lived in Jersey. Oh wait. . . nevermind.

* * *

James, Remus, and Harry sat on Harry's bed to finish the film. James popped out frequently to check on Sirius. The anticipated owl from his mother arrived. The parchment was the type she saved for "best". He unfolded it to see her dainty script. He read it quickly. Yes, they would be thrilled to see James. Yes, they were massively relived that he was alive and well. They were thrilled that Harry was back with his father. Then there was a rant about Dumbledore not letting them have custody of their grandson and the indignity of forcing Harry to grow up as a muggle. They were pleased that Sirius was well. They wanted to know if he or Remus be coming. She reminded him to bring swimming cossies. She said that they could have brunch, go for a ride and a swim, and then have supper or tea depending on how much time they could afford. She was excited and wanted to know if there was anything special he or Harry wanted for supper.

The comment about affording time was a jab and he knew it. Maybe he should have contacted her earlier but Sirius had been in prison and Harry had been in hell. He couldn't feel guilty for not saying hello. Yes, she shouldn't have had to read about it in the papers but there had been more pressing matters. He suppressed his guilt and wrote back saying that, no, Remus and Sirius weren't coming and that a mum cooked dinner would be wonderful no matter what was on the menu.


	65. 65

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 65?

Words: 219

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG- You're my favourite child, don't tell the others.

* * *

When Sirius came back into the room a little while later he was still pale. He smiled tiredly and sat down on the bed, "Do you really like it, Harry?" he asked.

"I love it. Fank you, very much." The boy sounded strangely formal and then he said with a scared edge, "I'm very sorry it hurted you. I didn' mean to be a bover." He looked down and seemed so little, even for his age and size. "I've never hads a room before but maybes it wasn' such a good idea. Maybe you cen take the magic back and not be all sick."

"I'm fine," he smiled gently at the boy, "I'm pleased you like it. That makes it all worth it. It wasn't any bother. Ok so," he pointed, "That's your closet, That's the door to Daddy's and my room, that's the bathroom, that's the door into the living room, and that's the one into Remus' room. If you need any of us tonight you can come in, ok, buddy?"

The little boy nodded and James added onto the thought, "Just because you have your own room now doesn't mean you can't come sleep with us if you have a nightmare or just want to be with us. Alright? We don't mind and you aren't a bother."


	66. 66

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 66?

Words: 212

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG- no sanguine tears, bad girl. Meanwhile triple pocket money for writing fanfic!

* * *

The little boy was thrilled with his new room. His dad sat with him until he fell asleep. James watched him for a long time before leaving the room silently. Sirius and Remus were drinking coffee in the kitchen. "He's asleep. And I'm so frighteningly in love with him," he said pouring himself some coffee and then transfiguring into being tea.

Sirius just smiled and said, "Are you looking forward to tomorrow?"

"Looking forward as in anticipating fun or looking forward as in planning my escape root for when things turn sour? I think it's equal parts apprehension and hope." He chewed the inside of his lip, "I just don't want them to upset him in anyway. And they aren't prepped for him really. I mean they're expecting a happy, loud little boy I'm sure and then they'll meet him and I'm just worried."

"James," said Remus softly, "It'll be fine. They love you both. . . don't start exuding clouds of red mist, ok? I don't want to be burned to death."

That made James laugh and he smiled tiredly, "What are you two up to tomorrow?"

"Well," said Remus, "I have to go to work."

"And I need to find a job of some sort," Sirius sighed, "I hate work."


	67. 67

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 67?

Words: 171

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

* * *

Curled up together much later, James said, "Am I a fool?"

"No, you have every right to be worried, there have been many times when they disappointed you. To blindly trust them now would be foolish," said Sirius stroking his face. He buried his head in James' shoulder and sighed happily. "Do you want me to come with?"

"I'll be ok, thank you though." He ran his fingers through Sirius' hair and said, "Thank god it's long again. I missed this when you cut it short."

"Yep, prison does wonders for hair length." Sirius spoke with a soft laugh as he pulled back slightly to study his mate.

"I love you so much," said James and he sounded weary. "Can we go to sleep?" He asked softly, kissing Sirius' cheek, "Don't let go of me tonight. I'm liable to start spewing red mist if you're not touching me. In fact," he rolled them so that Sirius was pushing him into the mattress, "can I fall asleep with you inside of me?"


	68. 68

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 68?

Words: 247

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG- hi!

* * *

Harry had a nasty dream about being told that he was the reason his mother was dead. In the dream he retorted by saying that his Daddy had said it wasn't true. They laughed at him and told him his father was dead. Getting out of bed he ran to the connecting door that lead into his father's room. But he heard a soft groan and a "James you're all I need" panted and stopped. It sounded like Sirius was hurt and he didn't want to interrupt his dad if the man was healing Sirius.

He turned to Remus' room and knocked on the door softly. The man opened the door with bleary eyes but was smiling gently, "Hey, buddy, what's up?"

"I hads a dweam but Daddy's busy wiv Serious."

Remus heard a louder, "Oh dear lord. I love you," and nodded.

"They need a little time alone. Why don't you climb into bed with me instead?" The little boy followed the man gratefully and cuddled up to the werewolf in bed. Remus held the boy gently around the hips and kissed his forehead lightly as he said, "You have nothing to be afraid of here. We're all keeping you safe. You're the most special thing in our lives."

Harry said, "I'm happy. I'm sorry I'm being bad and havings dreams."

Shaking his head Remus said, "You aren't doing anything wrong. You're a lovely little boy. We're all so thrilled to have you back with us."


	69. 69

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 69?

Words: 136

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG I need to do conference work but I'm doing this instead.

* * *

James woke up early and was scared shitless when his little boy wasn't in his new bedroom. "Harry?" he called feeling like he might faint when suddenly Remus opened the door wearing flannel pants and carrying Harry.

"He had a dream, you and Sirius were busy so he came and slept with me." Remus was bleary eyed with sleep. Clearly he hadn't had his coffee yet. The little boy had his head resting on Remus' shoulder and was sucking his thumb in his sleep. Davy was walking obediently behind Remus. Walking into the living room Remus placed the sleeping boy on the sofa and turned to James, "I need coffee."

James watched his son and said, "Thank you for letting him into your bed."

Shaking his head Remus said, "James, I view him as my own."


	70. 70

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 70?

Words: 230

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG- I'm gonna tell Julia it's your fault my paper isn't written.

* * *

The floo system was almost too fast for James' taste. Before his lips were dry from Sirius' kiss he was stepping out of his parents' fireplace. His mother was hugging him and fussing over Harry and saying how tall he was, and how beautiful he was, and how much of a love he was. She asked if they'd brought their cossies and appetites. She had stroked Harry's face as she gave James meaningful looks. They wandered out onto the veranda where his father was barbequing. There was a frying pan on the grill frying eggs, and tomatoes, and bread. The man was pouring baked beans into another warming container on the grill as he pushed sausages, tuna, and mushrooms, around over the coals. He gave James a tight hug and whispered, "We'll be talking later, son."

"Yes, sir," James agreed quickly knowing that what his father really meant was that the man might cry if forced to address his son and didn't want to do so in front of his wife.

He realized that his mother had never let go of his arm since he'd come in through the grate. Looking at her, he dropped Harry to stand on the ground and wrapped his arm around his mother more fully. She breathed in his scent as she had when he was a baby. "My boy," she kept whispering, "my boy."


	71. 71

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 71?

Words: 291

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG- Oh, poor Julia, what will she say when I tell her fanfic is more important?

* * *

The little boy was sitting in front of his dad on the horse as they rambled along the path. His parents were so thrilled to see James and both of them kept touching him as they spoke which was odd as they weren't a touchy family. His mother kept reaching out to stroke his horse. And Harry was too quiet for James' taste. The boy had been brought up to be seen and not heard and James didn't like that, he kept trying to pull Harry into the conversation. The boy was sitting with his back flush against his father's chest and his ear was resting against his father's breast. He seemed content but James wanted him to be more involved. 

"How's Sirius?" asked his mother.

Feeling himself flush with anger James said, "He's rather broken. You see, no one believed him and he wasn't allowed to grieve."

"James!" his father started to object but his mother shot the man a look and he stopped.

"He'll be ok, he's trying to find a job," James tried to make himself sound even.

"Is that why he didn't come?" asked his mother.

"No, I think he's slightly afraid of coming here," James sighed and moved the reins so that the horse would move a little more quickly

His mother spoke softly, "I'm so sorry."

With a shrug James said, "The past is past and not much can be done. He'll be ok, maybe you could write him a note?"

"Yes, I am sorry."

"I know," James nodded but couldn't look her in the eye.

"I like, Serious." Harry nodded in agreement with himself, "He's nice of me."

"He's a good man and he cares for you very deeply," the boy's grandfather said solemnly.


	72. 72

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 72?

Words: 291

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

* * *

James watched his son and mother as the older woman held the little boy in the swimming pool. He stirred his tall glass of Pimm's with a slice of cucumber. He dropped the fruit into the glass and placed some mints leaves in as well before he drank the fizzy alcohol. 

His father came and sat next to him and said, "James?"

"Hmm?" James asked looking up from his reverie.

"Is there. . . is there?" The man didn't seem to be able to bring himself to finish his question.

"Is there what?" asked James.

"Is there something wrong with Harry? Only, he doesn't speak much and when he does it isn't at the level a child of his age should be speaking."

James tried not to be angry. After all, his father wasn't in the wrong. "No, there's nothing with him. He hasn't been spoken to his entire life. He was ordered about, spoken to. And they let him talk. They didn't want to hear him. By the time he's at school age he'll be fine. All he needs is for someone to talk to him."

The man looked at his tense son for a moment before pulling the boy into a hug.


	73. 73

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 73?

Words: 555

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

Angie, you rock my world, you're name is now, totally, Angie.

* * *

James held the boy close to him as they were getting ready to leave. As he was slipping the boy's shoes on Harry lost his balance and , wearing the unfamiliar robes, he fell onto his bum. 

"You ok, buddy?" asked James with a slight, gentle laugh.

"I'm not use't to wearin' dresses," Harry said with a shrug, he giggled when his dad tickled him as he picked the boy up.

"James?" said his mother questioningly, "Do you mean to tell me that he's never worn robes before? Not even since you've gotten back?"

Wincing the man turned to his mother and said, "There's been enough upset without trying to drastically change his lifestyle."

"You've been allowing him to run about looking, for all the world, like a muggle?" she asked horrified.

"Yes, and we've been having a great time," James replied in clipped tones. He couldn't understand how his mother could be so kind and accepting and yet still be a huge snob. She had liked Lily, she had been a member of the Order for a while, she had advocated muggle-borns' rights yet she didn't like her grandson being dressed as one. James wanted to scream, wanted to rage, want to say that his son was perfect and would be perfect even if he walked around naked and covered in jelly. He wanted to point out that she had never liked his being a mage but that it had saved his life. He wanted to tell her to get the fuck over her pretensions and see her beautiful grandson as he was. Instead he just sighed and said, "Leave it alone, he's happy dressed as a muggle."

Harry saw the angry lines carved into his father's face and instantly gripped onto the man more firmly. "I can dwess like a wiz'er if it, if it, it'll mades you happy," he said softly with a slight stutter. He didn't want his dad to be angry.

The expression melted from James' face as he turned to his boy, "No, baby," he said softly, "you don't need to change at all."

Looking away Harry was frightened as he said, "I don't liked robes, they're too hawd to move ins."

"I never liked them either. I like a good pair of jeans." James said still trying to smile warmly even though he was so tired and so upset. Today was supposed to be perfect. While his father had been nothing but understanding his mother had been henpecking him about why Harry wasn't in a wizarding daycare programme, why was the boy so thin, why didn't he know more about magic.

All he wanted was to scream at the top of his lungs that she should be thrilled that they were both alive. He wanted to strip and show her all the scars on his body, all of the ones on Harry. He wanted to take her by the shoulders and tell her that it was okay for her to break down, that she was allowed to be emotional, that oppressing it and just acting like an anxious old cow didn't help anyone. He wanted to remind her to worship her grandson and stop nitpicking things. He wanted to remind her what it was to be human. Instead he just looked at her and said, "I'll write soon."


	74. 74

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 74?

Words: 149

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

Ang, is that a better name?

* * *

James stepped out of the fireplace and was almost instantly in the arm of Sirius. The boy was crushed between them and seemed quite content in the position. He almost made purring noises as he shut his eyes and went totally limp in his father's arms. By the time James let go of his lover Harry had fallen asleep. His hair, damp from the sweat of the day and the pool, stuck to his forehead. James smiled happily while looking at the boy and said softly, "Is Remus here?" 

Sirius' countenance went dark. "He came home from _work_ tired and bleeding. He worked all day in pureblood's gardens, under the sun, for hours and hours. He fell into bed as soon as he got here. I wanted to patch him up first but he just said, 'It'll only happen again tomorrow.' We need to find him a good job."


	75. 75

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 75?

Words: 349

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

Ange, you're a demanding bitch.

* * *

James held out a basket to Sirius, "My mother sent this for you."

"Do I want to open it?" asked Sirius slowly.

"Yes, absolutely. It's something you'll like. Something you've missed."

"Why is she sending me things?"

"Because she's feeling guilty and it's yours already."

Slowly reaching for the basket Sirius' smile was as languid as his motion. He pulled the blanket off of the basket and nearly screamed, "Oh," he gasped as he pulled the contents of the basket into his arms and dropped the container on the floor, "oh, god."

"Yeah, she grabbed him from the apartment."

The cat purred deeply and rubbed against Sirius, "He remembers me. Binkdine remembers me."

"Of course he does. A familiar always knows his master."

The cat fell asleep and James looked between the catatonic cat and his catatonic son and said, "I think we're being given a message here."

Wrapping his free arm around James' waist Sirius said, "So put the boy in his bed and let's get to our own one."

They placed Harry in bed and wandered into their own bedroom. Dropping the cat onto the foot of the bed Sirius laughed and said, "I love you. How was it?"

"Less miserable than it could have been," James nodded to himself. "I missed you. She sent a letter to you with the cat. She's really sorry."

"Don't talk about your mum while I'm trying to seduce you."

"Pull off all of my clothes and ravish me, I won't talk of Mum again," James assured him.

"I'm glad it wasn't awful. Can you make me feel wonderful?"

"Always," James said as he took control and slowly stripped Sirius naked. The cat woke up and looked at the two men and James said. "He's a pervert. Look, he's watching."

"Let him, he's missed a lot too," Sirius said cupping the man's face and forcing James to refocus. He ran his tongue over James' clavicle. He breathed in his lover's scent as the man laughed. "What?"

James wound his fingers into Sirius' hair, "I missed my puppy."

"I love you too."


	76. 76

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 76?

Words: 202

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

How's the mouth doing, MRHG?

* * *

Sirius breathed in James' scent and was instantly calmed by the earth and electricity he could smell below scents of soap. Everything was warm and familial. James tipped his head back to give Sirius further access to his neck and whimpered softly. He stripped James of his clothes with touches so gentle the other man barely noticed. Pushing his lover to sit on the bed Sirius kneeled and placed gentle, playful, wet kisses along the man's hip and stomach. James nearly melted into the bed.

"I'm glad you survived today," Sirius whispered in a sultry tone. "Because if you hadn't I wouldn't be able to torture you now," he stood up quickly and reached for Mrs. Potter's letter as James fell back on the sheets nearly sobbing. Sirius sat down next to him and tore open the envelope. Patting James' thigh in an innocent, brotherly manner he said, "She's apologizing, isn't that sweet?"

"If you don't touch me soon," James said in a menacing undertone. "She'll have nothing to apologize for: because you will have killed her son."

With a wicked, young laugh Sirius threw the letter to the side and said, "I'm just playing," before blanketing himself over James' prone form.


	77. 77

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 77 of 82

Words: 230

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

Thanks, Angel, for listening to me bitch.

* * *

James walked calmly through the halls he had once thought of as his. They had seemed so large when he was eleven and then so damn confining when he'd been seventeen. But now he was back and he saw that the place was huge and yet so familial it ached. He wasn't sure why he was there and why he'd brought his son along with him. Minerva was expecting him but really she was just going to babysit Harry while he spoke to the Head.

Even more unfathomable then why he was here was why he'd entered through the dungeons. He couldn't've faced walking in through the gates but he knew other routes and wasn't sure why he'd chosen this one. He felt as though he had to see something down there. And as a familiar sallow face came around the corner James damned himself. Intuition was not something he should have trusted.

"Well, well, well. James Potter. I thought you were dead."

"I thought you were a Death Eater and the old coot would have more sense than to have hired you."

"Apparently not." He studied Harry who looked at him with wide fearful eyes.

The boy didn't know what to make of the man. He was cold and was mean to his dad but he unconsciously read the man's aura and felt safe with him.

Staring into a face with green eyes and an upturned nose Snape felt himself falter. He saw the scars that were dotted all over the boy; they would fade before his first year. He saw the fear and the desperate courage that was trying to hide the fear in the sinister, chilly dungeon. He saw the boy bite his lip and think and saw him make a decision. Harry smiled and said, "Hi, I'm Harry."


	78. 78

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 78 of 82

Words: 478

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

MRHG, No really, you're cool.

* * *

Right then and there Severus felt himself being pulled apart by her child. James watched as the other man studied Harry and reached out slowly. He scrumptiously grabbed Severus' wrist before the man could move. Focused on his power and felt red mist pouring through his veins and into Severus. He read the man's deeds, thoughts, and aims.

"It never would have worked," James said in a soft but deadly tone. "Even if you had succeeded in getting me out of the picture she never would have loved you. She loved Remus. And we both know how you feel about Remus."

Flinching at the name, as though it were a new wound, Severus spoke softly when he said, "I didn't know the prophesy was about you."

"So then why did you tell him?" James asked, confused by the turn of the conversation.

"I truly thought that he was on the right path. I thought he was promoting knowledge and power. I thought he would save us all. I thought he was going to make the whole world alive and aware. He was lying, manipulating me for the child I was. And I didn't realize until it was too late."

"So Lily had to," he glanced at Harry who was watching with avid interest, "pay the price for you to see that he's a lunatic?"

"Have you seen the Longbottoms? Many people had to suffer before I could see the errors I had made."

Anger barely in check James said, "Are you looking for forgiveness from me?"

"I'm the reason your wife is dead and your boy is a stone underweight and covered in scars. I can't ask for forgiveness. All I ask is that you try to believe that I'm doing all I can to remedy my actions. I'll never be able to but I am working."

James saw the circles under the too thin man's eyes, he saw the images he had stolen from the other man's head of being tortured while acting as Dumbledore's spy, he saw nights spent sleepless as Severus vomited over memories and new trespasses and said, "That's all I can ask." He thought of childhood rivalries and how cruel he'd been to this man and said softly, "Be safe, Severus, you're no use to the old cheerful bastard if you die to atone. Be safe." He saw the red, angry burns he'd left of the man's wrist and felt nothing. The man had not flinched. James continued on his journey up to Minerva's quarters.

"Tha's the boy frem your dweams," the minute Harry said it he clapped his hand over his mouth.

"What?" asked James not understanding.

"I'm sorry. I didn' mean of do it. I was scarwed and you was smilin' so I looked in yours dwaems and you and hims were fightin' and Remus told you of shut up and sit down and you dids. I know I shouldn've dones it but I didn' wanna wake you."


	79. 79

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 79 of 82

Words: 358

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

I really find short chapters freeing. Don't you, MRHG?

* * *

"I'm not angry," said James. "That's an amazing power. But you could have seen something upsetting. I wouldn't like it if you saw one of my nightmares: it would scare you."

"But you was smilin'. I'm sorry."

"I'm not angry, Harry. That's a great skill. Do you have any other gifts that I don't know about?"

Thinking before he spoke Harry replied slowly, "Well, I don' knows if it's normal, but the Durleys didn' like me talkin' about it so it could be something special."

"Yeah?" asked James, "What's that?" He picked up Harry as they started to ascend the stairs as he was afraid that they would move and frighten Harry.

"Well, when people don' tell the truff and make up stories their glows change. But when I told Aunt Petunia that Dudley was tellin' stories and why I could tell I didn' get supper for a week."

"What do you mean by glow?" asked James not understanding.

Harry shrugged, thinking that it was visible to everyone. He thought he was only different from others because he saw the colour change, he didn't realize that most people never saw the original colour to begin with. "The colour around you. Tha's how I knew the man frems yer dream. He glows a pretty gray with purple spiky bits. I knews his glow."

Shocked James wanted to be positive he understood what he was being told, "You see a glow around people." Harry nodded. "Around every person?" Harry nodded. "Wow."

"You can do it too?" Harry asked not seeing what the big deal was.

"No, I can't. That's an amazing gift. I only ever met one person who could do that. Your mother could do that. But even she had to be taught it, it took her years to properly read people. That's wonderful, baby, she would be so pleased to know you had her gift. Let's find Minerva."

Once he had the boy settled in with his old professor he would pay the headmaster a visit. He had some angry little words to hash out with the man but he promised himself that he wouldn't lose his temper.


	80. 80

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 80 of 82

Words: 416

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

Close to the end now, Angelina, thanks for the word save.

* * *

"Logic," said James calmly as he paced in front of the desk. Having already declined a lemon sherbet and tea James was free to pace. "Logic tells you some undeniable things. One: he and I are bonded. Two: bonds don't die but both people do if one does. Three: if I had died he would have had to as well. Four: he is loyal to a fault and could never betray the people he loved. So how did you justify blaming him? Was it simply fear? Because, clearly your rationalization of the situation was not based on rational thought." 

"He was your Secret Keeper and you appeared to be dead."

James nearly shouted at that response, "That still should have left you question how he was alive!"

"I thought the bond was broken," Albus answered simply.

"Well then you are a fool," James' tone mocked Dumbledore's simplicity.

"I'll write to him, that will be the first step. How else do you suggest I make amends?" asked Albus seeing that James had plans.

Taking a deep breath James started to explain his plan, or rather his demands, "Leave Remus, Sirius, and I out of the war. Right now we've paid enough, I know it's still raging, I know Harry has a pivotal role but he needs a happy, balanced childhood. Tell Remus his job for the Order is to be a good father and part of being a good father is being respectfully employed as the herbology professor here. We're going to live in peace and quiet.

"Harry is going to start attending school here but not when he's eleven perhaps when he is fourteen, until then he'll go to a muggle school until he's eleven and then we'll teach him all he would learn here. Maybe Severus will come and teach him potions; maybe he'll do it as a favour to Remus. This place would eat him alive and I want to be sure he's ready. I refuse to let him be devoured by this gossipy institution. He is a gifted boy he can already read auras and move in unconscious minds. Were he to have stayed with Lily's family they would have crushed it out of him. He would have walked into the Great Hall as a muggleborn, as it is, he's going to walk in as a competent young man once he's ready. If you would have Severus find out what Voldemort is planning and pass it on I would be very grateful."


	81. 81

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 81 of 82

Words: 362

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

I love school. Because when I'm at home, I run up my cell phone talking to you.

* * *

"So he agreed to let Harry go later?" asked Remus in awe, it was so rare anyone went against Dumbledore.

"Yeah," James nodded. "He also was shocked to hear that you're a common gardener. He thinks your herbology skills merit more. Be ready to field a teaching offer."

"Should I be prepping myself for teaching?" asked Sirius from where he was sitting on the couch with Harry in his lap as they did a puzzle, it was tricky because the pictures of the pieces kept moving.

"Sigh, we barely trust you with our kid do you think others would let you meld young minds?"

The description of Harry as "our kid" didn't slip by Remus or Sirius, but trying to act casually Sirius said, "That's not fair. Hey, Harry, want to learn how to spit?"

Before James could reprimand his lover Harry answered, "Only bad boys like Dudley an' his sriends spit."

Suppressing laughter at Sirius' crestfallen look James turned back to Remus and spoke softly, "Saw someone who misses you today."

"Who?" asked Remus as he started to make the tea.

"Severus." Remus nearly dropped the tea kettle, "I know you haven't been friends since. . . since I used you as a weapon. But from the way he still flinches at your name he isn't over you."

Almost snorting at the thought Remus asked, "So the fact that he's pained by the mention of my name should give me hope? No, I screwed up. I was so busy with our shared adoration of Lily that I failed to see what was developing. And then I got together with her and I stabbed him twice both by being with her and by not being with him."

"Look, I know he shut you out after that. But if you try now I think he'll forgive you. Enough time has gone by so that he can forgive and not so much has gone that he becomes set in his hatred. Give it a decade and he'll never let you back in. But this is your window. Grab the snitch by its golden wings, Moony."

Just then, a knock came at the floo entrance.


	82. 82

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 82 of 82

Words: 547

Warnings: Angst. Non-canon.

Thanks, to **EVERYONE**, for sticking with me this far. **Sophie**, are you okay?

* * *

Severus Snape stood in the hearth looking uncomfortable, "Albus asked me to inform you that tonight the Dark Lord announced that none of you are to be touched for thirteen years. In fact, there is to be no activity at all on his side for thirteen years." 

Nodding James said, "Thank you," with more depth then most who knew him would believe possible. It was obvious to even the casual listener that Severus was not being thanked for passing on a message.

"Severus, you look tired, why don't you come in for some tea?" asked Remus in a voice that betrayed his fear.

The Slytherin man looked away before saying softly, "Thank you, that would be. . . nice," and stepped into the room.

"Done!" squealed Harry as he jumped out of Sirius' lap. Sirius put a binding charm on the puzzle.

"Bring it over to the table, buddy, you can pick it up in one lump," Sirius said quietly.

With a second squeal he brought it over to the kitchen table and placed it down. "Look! I's of horses and they're's runnin' from somethin' and they's goin' over the mountain!" He stood on his tiptoes between Remus and Severus and pointed things out that he feared they would miss out on seeing, "The bird's flyin'!" Remus handed the boy his own mug from which to drink; Harry sipped and then passed back, in this way they shared the warm, comforting tea between them. "And look! there's gonna be an av'lanch!" Severus wasn't looking where Harry was pointing and Harry couldn't imagine anything worse then missing out on the lovely picture so he touched the man's arm and pointed again, "Look!"

Attempting to respond to the child he said, "An avalanche would be frightening wouldn't it?"

"No," Harry answered simply he felt he was allowed to disagree with the man because Sirius had come to stand behind him and he felt safe.

"Why not?" asked Severus wanting to know what the boy's logic to the answer was.

"They're only drawn horses, they can'ts be 'fraid. It won't reeealllly hurt thems," he explained.

And feeling thoroughly chastised Severus smirked, "Oh."

Hearing a soft click Severus looked up to see James with a camera, "I don't have any pictures of you, Harry, I better get a move on because soon you'll be too big to catch on film!" The little boy laughed but swayed slightly, leaned against Sirius' legs, and James said, "Okay, baby, I think it's time for bed."

"But we gots company!" Harry protested having heard Dudley say it to wheedle his way out of bedtime.

His dad was thrilled that Harry was willing to speak up but it was nearly nine o'clock and he said, "It's very late, Harry, I'm sure Severus will come to tea again very soon. Right now it's time for you to say goodnight and then you can have a couple of pages of a bedtime story."

This idea perked up Harry. Before he'd come home to his dad no one had ever read to him. He liked having time alone with his daddy so he nodded, and hugged Sirius and Remus, and told Severus it was nice to meet him, before he took his dad's hand and went willingly to bed.

* * *

the end

* * *

Stay tuned for **part three** with 14 year old Harry. 


	83. 83

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 83 of , or part 1 of Part Three

Words: 449

Plot: Harry goes to school.

I love this ring, **Angelina**. See, **Sophie**, you didn't have to wait long: real life can wait!

* * *

"Aren't you going to even pretend to be excited for me?" he asked with a half smirk. "This is a good thing. It's something I've wanted. You know I'm ready." 

James sighed, "Harry, it's not that I'm not excited for you. I'm just sad for me. I'm losing my little boy."

"I'm thirty seconds away by floo. You could at least pretend."

"Yea!" James said with little enthusiasm as he watched his son tie his tie. "Do you hate robes as much now as you did when you were little?"

Shrugging the boy said, "I'm gonna wear jeans underneath, they won't notice, I'll wear my robes buttoned, like Sevra."

"You can't call him Sevra in class. He'll growl."

"Maybe that will make it worth it," Harry laughed, "Are you going to be okay, Daddy? I could go as a day student."

"No, Harry, I think this will be good for both of us. You're fourteen, I need to start letting go of you at some point."

Pathetically attempting to flatten his hair Harry said, "I'll come home fore supper a few times next week. I swear, you don't lose anything in this deal."

"Thank you, baby."

"Though, if you call me baby in front of my friends I may be forced to hate you."

With a tired laugh James said, "Don't go angsty on me now. You're my friend."

Nodding Harry said, "I know. But, at some point you have to let me go hang out with people my age. Seamus, and Neville, and Ron are nice. You _know_ them. I'm not going into something unknown. And there's Blaise and Draco who I'm not friends with but I know. You know I'll be fine. Can you do something with this?" He pointed at his face.

"Shouldn't I be doing the reassuring part of this conversation?" asked James as Harry helped Davy, his bear, climb into his packing, "Aren't you too old for Davy?" He motioned for his son to kneel down in front of him and wiped at the scar which was instantly concealed with a glamour, "It'll wear off in six months unless you do so before."

"Thanks. And nope, I'm not too old, he's my best friend," Harry replied, "I don't care what people think, it's no worse than bringing a cat."

"You'll remember to write me? You'll take Quill?"

"Quill is old, I'll use school birds and send messages with Mooney, I'll be fine. You're not angry at me for wanting the scar to be hidden, are you? I just, don't want attention for the fact that my mum died to protect me. You know?"

Hugging his son tightly James said, "I know, baby, I know."


	84. 84

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 84 of , or part 2 of Part Three

Words: 281

Plot: Harry visits his friend.

Angea, is kind of like Sevra.

* * *

He knocked twice and heard, "I'm in the bath, come back in twenty minutes."

Rolling his eyes he softly announced, "I adopted Harry Potter." And the wall slid open. "Take your time, it's just me," he called. Waking to the sideboard he pulled out a glass and found the lemonade he knew had been bought for him. He settled down by the fire and sipped his soda slowly.

"Were you bored in your classes today?" asked the man as he came into the room wrapped in his warm housecoat.

"It felt good to be capable, I mean, I was ahead but it just made me feel like I wasn't a loser."

Nodding the man said, "And in mine?"

"You would set something I hadn't done before, wouldn't you?"

With a smile he said, "You need a challenge, it'll keep you out of trouble."

"It's the first day! And anyway, that's not fair," Harry protested, "You know I'm not stupid. I don't look for trouble. And I already swore to Dad that I wouldn't use the cloak to do anything but steal food and in cases of dire emergency."

"I know," he poured himself a scotch and came and sat down with the boy. "You reminded me of your mother in class. You have her skills for potion."

"Well, you've taught me everything I know. Are you going home tonight?" The man nodded, "Tell Dad I got settled into the dorm and everyone's being nice to me?"

Stroking the boy's hair the man said, "You're good to worry about him."

"I love you too, Sevra."

"Go to bed before I give you detention for breaking curfew," Harry laughed and downed his soda.


	85. 85

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 85 of , or part 3 of Part Three

Words: 113

Ange, Your mother and James are the same person!

* * *

"Harry? Harry?" he hid under his pillow and groaned, "Harry, are you there?" 

"A'm here," he mumbled and picked up the mirror in which he saw not his own face but his father's. "It's early."

"It's nine."

"On a Saturday."

"How was your first week?" asked James ignoring his son's glower expression.

"Tiring," he replied shortly.

Laughing, his dad said, "Have you made friends?"

"I already had friends. Can't I call you back in an hour?"

With a heavy sigh James said, "It's like the time I had to wake you on Christmas."

"I had pneumonia! It was six in the morning."

"Excuses, excuses. Call me back." His face vanished from the glass.


	86. 86

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 86 of , or part 4 of Part Three

Words: 285

Hey, can you think of a reason my lungs hurt, Angelina?

* * *

Neville was nice, he welcomed Harry as though the boy had always been with the group. Ron was too busy worshipping Hermione to pay much attention to his friend even though they had known each other since they were small. Harry was pleased for Ron though because he felt hat if they were better friends the girl and he never would have gotten together. Dean and Seamus were so interested in each other that they worked as their own unit and so in potions they instantly divided into pairs. Neville wasn't bad at potions, not when Severus wasn't glaring at him so Harry just kept the boy focused and everything went well. 

"Something new," said Severus walking in, "this isn't working for me. Since Longbottom's partnered with Potter I've not had much fun. Partner with someone from the other house."

Scanning the room Harry muttered to Neville, "Just stay calm. I'll see you in a bit." Turning to Draco he said, "Malfoy, want to do this?"

With a roll of his oh, so cultured eyes he said, "Why not, I certainly don't want Longbottom."

"No, but Pansy does," Harry gave her a sharp look. She was a good friend of the Blacks and while they weren't friends they had spent some time together as children while she cried about her parents and he gave her milk to drink. Her parents didn't love her; they only loved their master. As an empathetic child he had always felt for her.

She nodded, "Yeah, I want to partner with anyone who can get over three years of fear within a week spent with you: I think I'll hit pay dirt. Longbottom's bound to know your deep dark secret."


	87. 87

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 87 of , or part 5 of Part Three

Words: 152

Yo, Angelina, this is for you.

* * *

They worked quietly. "Hand me this" and "Stir that way" were most of the exchanged words. Harry knew that if he tried to talk Draco would find fault with his words, they had known each other for as long as Harry had known Severus and while Draco had been friendly at first Harry had learned that Draco had just wanted to be his friend because he was "Harry Potter" and it had hurt his feelings.

"You will meet with your new lab partner between classes to discuss, review, and study. Should I find that you have not met you will fail. And I _will_ know if you haven't met."

Everyone groaned and Malfoy said, "You can't be serious!"

"I'm quite serious. You will meet at least three times a week for the rest of the year."

"Bugger," muttered Ron angrily.

"Rather," agreed Draco. It was the first time they had ever agreed.


	88. 88

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 88 of , or part 5 of Part Three

Words: 232

The girl this is dedicated to is frighteningly rich.

* * *

The class cleared out and Harry made a show of cleaning his workstation. Once everyone had gone he looked angrily at Severus, "You're unkind at times, you manipulative bastard."

He could tell from the way Severus was looking at him that the man wasn't going to play the fool. And when he did speak he said, "I did what I thought necessary."

"They all think you're just being a bastard. They don't realize you're downright cruel."

"Harry-"

"You're making me be alone with a death eater's son. You knew I would pick him because we can rub along well enough in a public place. But to have to study one on one with him?"

He felt the walls of silence come up around the room he knew that no one earwiging would hear what was said. "He's not a death eater."

"No but his father is!" protested Harry.

"You misunderstand me," said Severus slowly, "Lucius is not a death eater. He's a spy."

"What? Why?"

"It's nothing noble, really. He just saw that neither you nor your father died and he realized he was backing the wrong broom racer. And Draco knows that. It's time for him to get a little guidance."

"So what I'm being a double agent? That's your bag not mine. I don't want this."

"I've seen the way you look at him, Harry, I know what you want."


	89. 89

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 89 of , or part 6 of Part Three

Words: 146

Rest of it at: http/ blah blah blah

The curtains were drawn around the bed with a silencing spell placed on them. Harry figured that they could get loud. He knew that he and Draco would end up screaming. Studying with the boy was going to be horribly irritating. He was looking at the other boy's notes when he said, "The potion is stirred clockwise not right to left." Draco was looking at him with a contemplative look, "What?" asked Harry in response to the gaze.

"Why aren't we friends?" asked Draco.

"Well, right now? Because you're gonna screw up our potion by stirring it wrong." Harry tried to make the reply light.

"You're friends with Blaise and Pansy." Draco was still studying him.

"When we were six you said you wanted to be the best friend of the boy who lived. That's why we're not friends."

"I was six."

"It hurt my feelings."


	90. 90

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 90 of , or part 7 of Part Three

Words: 345

Unlike Skanky Nina, you don't suck.

* * *

He was called into the Headmaster's office. He'd only been there for a couple of weeks; he couldn't have gotten in trouble. Inside he was offered tea and sweets. He was offered a seat but said instead, "Sir, I'd really rather stand as I'm rather confused as to the purpose of this meeting."

"Sit down, Harry," the man commanded and Harry did as he was told. "Do you know what this is?" he asked gesturing to a deep dish on his desk which held blue mist.

"Some weird pensieve?" hazarded Harry.

"Not quite. It doesn't show the past exactly, it shows how things could have been. I wanted to show you something. I wanted to show you how your life, and the lives of others, would have been different if your father had died in the attack."

Harry almost jumped up. "I'd really rather not see that. He did survive and things have gone well."

"I feel that this would be most beneficial to your present life if you understood what could have happened. Please look into the dish." Harry reluctantly did as he was told.

In the reflection he saw a thousand images but understood them all even at the amazing rate they were flashing by. He saw himself growing up with his mother's family. His life was worse than a servant's: there was no one who cared about him, he was punished, used, and never spoken with. At school he had no friends because Dudley scared everyone out of liking him. At Hogwarts he cleaved to Ron and Hermione, so pleased to have friends. He saw that eventually he came between them and stopped them from being as close as they should have been. He saw himself turn down Draco's offer of friendship. He saw the boy become a Death Eater. He saw himself die at the hands of Voldemort.

As he looked up he knew what the man wanted him to ask and hated himself for playing into the game as he asked, "What would have happened if I'd taken his hand?"


	91. 91

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 91 of , or part 8 of Part Three

Words: 406

Um... I have no dedication. Like James Carse, I am empty.

* * *

He flooed home directly from Dumbledore's office. James was in the kitchen cooking and a huge smile wiped over his face as he saw his son, "Harry! You're home for supper? I would have cooked something special."

Harry gave a half wave, barely noticing his father's words. Walking straight to his destination he opened the door to his father's room and fell into the centre of the bed. He breathed in the scent of his parents' shampoo and familiar detergent on the pillows; it smelled like the safety after nightmares. It was only when his father came and laid beside him that he really saw the man and then he said nothing he just wrapped his arm around the man and buried his head in his father's chest. "Daddy," he said in a monotone voice, knowing James' wanted an explanation.

The tone scared James more than tears ever could and he hushed the boy saying, "It's okay, get comfy, don't try to talk 'til you feel ready."

After a few minutes Harry spoke softly, "Dum'ldore hads a fing fer looking at pasts that coulds of been," Harry slipped back into speaking like his younger self when deeply agitated. If he had grown up with the Dursleys he would have had to have learned to cope with stress better. But he had grown up with James and all the trauma had been repressed in the little boy's mind. Now, when upset, his old speech patterns returned. "He showed-ed me what would have happened if you'd dieded."

"Harry," his dad started but then saw that the boy was on a roll so he cut himself short.

"The Dursleys were mean. An' Sirius was in prison for twelve years, and thens he was a fug-'itve, and thens he dieds an' it was my fault. And Cedric… And Remus and Severa hated-ed each of-er but it mades Remus sads. And Severa hated me, hated me so much it burneds. He hated me and yous wasn't there, Daddy. And thens I dieded when Vold-mort 'ttacked." And it was in the same dead voice that he had been speaking in from the first.

"Baby," said James softly, "It's not real. This is real." He stroked the boy's face, "Feel me loving you? I'm not dead. You're safe."

"But it coulds of been. It all could have been jus' like tha'. Draco went all evil 'cause I saids I wouldn't be his sriend."


	92. 92

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 92 of , or part 9 of Part Three

Words: 299

Ange, I'm so totally writing my paper... oh! Something shiny, must look at that for an hour.

* * *

When Sirius came home he saw them in bed. He looked at the almost contained anger and worry on his lover's face. Instead of addressing it he dropped down onto of Harry and said, "God, James, it's just so nice being empty nesters." But while he expected an indignant giggle to come from the boy nothing happened save for strong, young arms wrapping around his waist. 

Harry turned them over so that his back was to his father and he was warm and safe between the men. It was the first time Sirius saw the boy's face and the deadened look he hadn't seen in a visage since Azkaban. "You've no idea how goods it is t' see you," Harry said softly before shutting his eyes and breathing in Sirius' scent.

"What's wrong, buddy?" he asked softly.

James responded for him, not wanting to force Harry to say it again. The story of the visions was told as Harry flinched and clung to Sirius, "I killed you," he whispered, "I' was my fault. I did't know occlumencys. He made me thinked he haded you. An' I went and you camed to save me. And I saw your face as you fell."

"Buddy, it wasn't real. That's not your life. This is yours, you're loved and safe." And that was when Harry finally broke into tears. "Baby," said Sirius, "It's all gonna be okay."

"No, it won't, I saw so much, Sirius, so much," his voice was back to being adult and, though the tears were upsetting, his loss of stoicism was a sign that he was finally allowing himself to be comforted.

Remus and Severus came in a short while later. When they were told the situation Severus went quiet but Remus spoke up, "That instrument isn't always correct."


	93. 93

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 93 of , or part 10 of Part Three

Words: 339

MRHG-"Do-gooding is like treating hemophilia- the real cure is to let hemophiliacs bleed to death… before they breed more hemophiliacs."

"You could sterilize them."

"You would have me play God? But we're off the subject."- 184 SIASL

* * *

"What?" asked Harry slowly. 

"He showed my parents and I the contraption when they weren't certain about sending me to school. It showed two options, in the first they kept me home and I killed them one night during the full moon when they forgot to lock me in the basement. In the second they sent me to school and everything ended happily with them living in Cornwall."

"And?" asked Harry not seeing the point.

"They died years before they could ever more to Cornwall. The device was wrong. It doesn't account for free will."

"He showed me a second option too," said Harry, "one where I accepted Draco's friendship."

"And?" asked Remus expectantly.

"It was great. He was the best friend I ever had, we grew up, became lovers, he took the spell that was meant for me and died a painful death." He shut his eyes again and breathed in Sirius' scent slowly.

"Alright, but that didn't account for James not being dead, Sirius surviving, Voldemort going underground, or my liking you," said Severus.

"Why is everyone so eager for Draco and I to be friends? Dumbledore and you both. Did you sic him on me?" asked Harry angry and hurt at the possible betrayal.

"No, Harry, my reason and his have nothing to do with each other."

"Why do you want Harry to be friends with Malfoy?" asked Remus with worried incredulity.

"He wants me to be a spy," Harry said taking revenge on the Severus he'd seen in the device's image.

Severus rolled his eyes and said, "No, Harry, I see how you look at him like a lonely child, I knew you wanted to be friends with him and I set it up so that you would be forced to spend time with him."

"So why did you say it?" asked Harry, still hurt by the man's actions.

"Because he hates looking like a caring parent," said Sirius smirking. "What smells like smoke?"

"Dinner!" James jumped out of bed and ran to the kitchen.


	94. 94

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 94 of , or part 11 of Part Three

Words: 522

Your hair is cool today.

* * *

The others stayed with him, Remus crawled up to where James had been to comfort Harry and the boy felt safe again. But Severus was studying him and the way Harry wasn't looking at him and asked, "How cruel was I?"

"It wasn't real," said Harry as he clutched Remus' hand, "And it might never have been, like Moony said."

"How cruel was I?" repeated Severus.

"It doesn't matter," Harry said softly.

"It does to you, baby." It was so rare that Severus called him any pet name that Harry saw it for what it was, a plea and an outreached hand.

"You hated me and made no bones about it. At first I tried to make you see that I wasn't Daddy, that I was just me. But you thought I was as spoiled and arrogant as him and you hated me for it. And everyone said you were my father's enemy so I just sort of accepted it and moved on but it still pissed me off and watching it now it just ached and I wanted so badly to make you see that I wasn't him. And then Dumbledore tried to make you teach me occlumency. I was too old and it hurt and you wouldn't really teach me, you would just jump into my head and force me to push out. And it hurt like rape. And then I fell into a pensieve and saw Daddy bullying you and you hated me because you expected me to mock, but how could I mock you for him being a bastard? And it hurt because it proved that he really was a bastard and everything you said about him strutting around the school was true and it made me doubt everything and made me wonder if you were right about me too. You said I thought I was above rules like he did but I never thought that, I broke rules to survive and protect people. And I wanted you too see that. But then I thought that maybe I was lying to myself and to you and I really was like him."

"Harry," Severus started but was interrupted when the boy broke into a pleading tone.

"But I wasn't like him. I wasn't spoiled or full of myself."

"I believe you."

"But I am spoiled in this life, so why don't you hate me?"

"You're not spoiled, and this isn't that life."

"No, I'm spoiled brat. I have four adults who love me more than anything. People listen when I speak and care about my feelings and thoughts. I've always had my body respected and been liked for who I was. I've never gone hungry or been beaten 'til I vomited blood. I was taught about life, and magic, and occlumency, and potions by people who loved me and wanted me to succeed and be happy. Spoiled fucking rotten."

"Yeah, but you're my spoiled brat," said Severus as he pushed his lover out of the way and took Remus' spot, "I like you're brand of brat."

"Love you too, Severa."

"Shut up," there was a smirk in the tone.


	95. 95

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 95 of , or part 12 of Part Three

Words: 221

Dude, this is a reward for reading through the Jem story. . . wait you enjoyed that. . . fuck you're getting a reward for getting a reward.

* * *

Harry was still curled up in his parents bed thinking about all he had seen in the bowl in Dumbledore's office when he remembered Draco. They were supposed to have met for a study session a half hour ago. "Fuck," he muttered and reached for his father's mirror, he called out to Draco who quickly appeared. The blond was sitting on Harry's bed looking pissed. "I'm so sorry," said Harry quickly.

"Where are you? You're a half hour late." These was quiet vitriol in his words.

"I'm sorry, I totally forgot about it. I had a bad day. I'm sorry I'm at home."

"Typical. Harry Potter forgets about everyone else. Fuck your bad day, you're forcing me to have one of my own."

"I'll make it up to you. I'm sorry," Harry forced himself to not get upset but he could see the look on Draco's face and it was a lot like the one the boy would wear were he to kill Harry in that possible future. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to fuck up your day. I just. . . I wanted to know I belonged somewhere so I came home. I'm really sorry, you're right I'm a thoughtless bastard. I'll try harder." He placed the mirror face down on the bed and rolled over onto his side.


	96. 96

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 96 of ? or part 13 of Part Three

Words: 314

No funny thing here, I'm empty.

* * *

Harry could hear the other boy's voice muffled through the duvet but he stayed silent. He shut his eyes tightly and lifted the mirror back up and without opening his eyes he said, "You have every right to shout at me: I fucked up. But please shout when I get there. I need some sleep and then you can shout for hours if you like. I'm sorry. I want to eat supper with my parents and go to bed. Shout at me later, please." 

"I'll see you tomorrow, Potter." And with that Draco disappeared.

James was standing in the door smiling sadly. "Harry," he called softly, "supper's ruined. It's alright though, it was clam chowder, I know you hate clam chowder." He climbed back into bed and wrapped an arm around Harry's waist. "What do you want on your pizza?"

"Same thing as always," said Harry softly.

"Right," James smiled, "that's what everyone said." He pulled the muggle phone off the bedside table. "Hey, Maria, how are you?. . . We're good. We need one large meat lovers, one large Hawaiian, one large quadruple cheese and onion, and two large black olive and cappers. . . yep two of them, they're both home. I know, it's nice to have a full house." Turning his attention to Harry he said, "Maria says hi."

"Hi back," said the boy curling into his dad's side. "Can they deliver it? And can we eat in bed?"

"Yeah, baby." He kissed Harry's forehead and hung up the phone.

"And can I stay here tonight?"

"In bed with me and Sirius? That's fine. Whatever you want."

"I'm sorry. I know it's annoying. It's just. . . I saw you both die this morning. I swear I'll go back tomorrow."

"Stay the night, the week, the year. Just feel better, alright?"

"Thank you, Daddy, thank you for letting me stay."

"Always, Harry, always."


	97. 97

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 97 of ? or part 14 of Part Three

Words: 293

I am a Bamf

* * *

Sirius and Harry worked together to transfigure the bed to be larger than usual so that the five of them could sit easily. The pizzas came and the delivery guy, Stuart, said, "Don't you guys usually do pick up?"

And James smiled, "It's been a rough week."

"It's only Wednesday."

"Yep, it's been hell." He handed the boy the money and a large tip and said, "Drive safely," and shut the door.

In bed Harry leaned slightly against Severus who was leaning against Remus who was carding his fingers through the potion master's hair slowly. Harry could see the way their auras bled into one another. He noticed that Remus was watching him study them and he blushed and looked away. In the possible future he had seen them loathe each other, or rather: Severus loathed Remus while Remus had just been quiet and withdrawn. It had made Harry ache inside to see them have such a rift tearing them apart. And Harry felt Remus' hand upon his shoulder and turned to see them slowly kissing.

As the pair broke apart Remus smiled and said, "Better, Har?"

The boy felt embarrassed and nodded then looked away while Severus said, "What's going on?"

"Nothing, love, just kiss me again." And Severus leaned in for a second slow kiss.

James walked in carrying the pizzas and said, "No sex in my bed."

"Hey," said Sirius holding the napkins and butter beer, "it's my bed too and I say it's fine just so long as Harry isn't in the bed and you record it for posterity."

"Perv," said James as he passed one of the olive and capper pizzas to Harry and the other to Severus. Sirius took the Hawaiian and passed Remus the meat lovers.


	98. 98

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 98 of ? or part 15 of Part Three

Words: 506

Remember that time, at the start of the year when we went to that concert? That was fun.

* * *

Waking to the scent of cooking eggs Harry cuddled into the warm mass next to him and the mass laughed, "Morning, Har," said Sirius wrapping an arm around his step-son's waist.

"I don't wanna go to school."

"And I don't want to go to work but I think we'll both get speeches from your dad if we don't."

Harry opened his eyes slowly and asked, "Who's making breakfast?"

"I think it's Severus, he likes doing int when he's home."

The words made Harry sad. Severus was a spy so he had to keep up the appearance of lonely solitude but it did leave the man actually lonely. He generally only got home a coupled nights out of the week. Remus kept up the pretense of commuting to the school while, in reality, he spent as much time in his lover's quarters as possible which wasn't much time at all. The sneaking about had amused them at first, acting like teenagers. But after nearly a decade it was growing tiring and it was evident in the way they would sit sometimes at night reading. They would lean against each other in an outward show of comfortable silence while it was obvious that they were soaking up the feeling of each other's presence and storing it for the nights they were apart.

Harry sat up and stretched before walking over to the pile of his clothes that his dad had neatly folded the night before. James loved playing at being an adult and Harry smiled at his refolded socks. He could smell a cleansing spell on the materials as he pulled his shirt over his head. Out in the kitchen he bid everyone a good morning as he grabbed a plate off the counter and thanked Severus for feeding him. Remus asked how he'd slept and Harry lied and said fine. Every time he'd drifted off to sleep he'd seen people he loved dying and he'd grabbed his dad's arm in his sleep and unknowingly forced the man to witness it too because of their shared powers. He'd woken in tears and his father was stroking his hair promising that things would be alright. And Harry had whispered, not wanting to wake Sirius that, while he had seen pictures of her, he could not remember what his mother looked like. And James had assured him that she wouldn't resent him for not remembering and Harry had said, "She was so beautiful." And James had nodded. And when her face had been contorted in pain Harry could almost convince himself that she'd been laughing, and she'd been beautiful throughout it all.

James flooed with him into the entrance hall fire place at the castle and said, "Come home tonight?"

And Harry said, "No, I'll be fine now. I'll call you if I have any dreams." And he was lying again. That was two lies in under and hour. He had never lied to his father before, not over important things. He looked at his surroundings and hated the castle.


	99. 99

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 99 of ? or part 16 of Part Three

Words: 319

Fuck me in the face, there is no dedication

* * *

James hugged his son tightly before letting him go. And then they both headed up the stairs and off to their destinations. Harry didn't ask why his dad had come with him because he was too tired to notice that it was odd. James went directly to the Headmaster's office to have angry little words while Harry went to find the Weasley twins.

James told the gargoyle that guarded the entrance to Dumbledore's that he would smash its pointy ears off if it didn't open the door. When it moved James thought, "wuss," and was glad that The Fat Lady would do a better job of protecting his son than this stone creature did at protecting its master. At the top of the rotating staircase Dumbledore smiled at him.

"I had the gargoyle step aside when I heard your voice. I haven't heard him threatened like that since your schooldays," Dumbledore said still wearing the smile. "Might I get you some tea?"

"This is not a social call," James said and reached out to touch the man and transmit Harry's dreams into the man's mind. He saw the faint red glow around his flesh but kept a hold of the old man's arm until he was satisfied that the bastard had seen it all. As he let go he said, "Next time you decide to enlighten my son in some horrible way you will remember that he is not an orphan nor is he a ward of this school. He has a father who will stop at nothing to protect him. The next time you do anything funny he will be pulled faster than you can say 'home schooling'. I am not going to allow you to ruin the small amount of childhood I can give to him. He's already been through enough without you preparing him for battle." He turned and left without allowing the man to speak.


	100. 100

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 100 of ? or part 16 of Part Three

Words: 463

Still nothing.

* * *

The Weasley twin were in the common room conspiring in a corner. Clearing his throat Harry said, "Hey."

"Harry, my good fellow, what can we do for you?" asked Fred with a smile. The pair liked Harry, he'd always been so willing to take the dares Ronnikins had been too cowardly (sensible) to take when they'd been little.

"Well, it weird. I think you have something of my dads and I'd like it back. I'll give you anything."

"Anything?" leered George. Both twins laughed at Harry's blush.

"Within reason. I'll do your homework for a month or. . . whatever name your price."

"What is it you think we have?" asked George more seriously.

"It's a map of the castle that will only display-" Fred slapped his hand over Harry's mouth.

"Not another word. We do have it, don't give away its secret." George smiled before saying, "So who's your dad?"

Fred released Harry's mouth. Understanding the question Harry smiled in return, "Prongs."

"Wow, I wish our Da was that cool." Said Fred. "Give us a mo." He pulled his twin away and they discussed the matter in hushed voices. Coming back he said, "If you'll tell us the identities of the other cartographers you can have it free of charge."

Harry didn't want to ruin Remus' reputation but he knew that the twins wouldn't tell anyone about the map and therefore couldn't speak of its makers. "Padfoot is Sirius Black, Mooney is Professor Lupin, and Wormtail is Peter Pettigrew."

George whistled, "They really were thick as thieve weren't they? Mum told us stories but they could weave their powers together. That's hardcore."

Harry thought of all the times he'd seen the three men share power between themselves. He had watched, as a small child, as Severus had slowly melded into the family and now any of them could share. And he thought of dead Peter and shuddered before saying, "Yeah. So what do you want in return for the map?"

"You're good to go, my friend," said George pulling it out of an inner pocket on his robe. "Use it well."

Harry held it in his hands and said, "I will," before concealing it within his own robes.

As he started to ascend the stairs Neville called, "Harry, since when do you snore? You didn't when we had sleepovers."

"What do you mean?" asked Harry not understanding.

"Last night-"

"I wasn't here last night." He tried to think of explanations as to why his bed would have been snoring.

"I guess someone was in your bed then. Because someone was snoring."

Upstairs Harry looked at his bed. It didn't look slept in. Maybe Neville was cracking up. He sat down on the covers and then noticed a white-blond hair on his pillow.


	101. 101

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 101 of ? or part 17 of Part Three

Words: 335

Screw it.

* * *

Before leaving the grounds James sought out his son who was getting ready for class. He said, "I'm gonna go. But I thought I would bring you some spends." He held out a small bag of coins but Harry didn't move to take it.

"Daddy," he said wary that while they were alone in his dorm anyone could walk in, "I'm fine. I don't need that."

"I just want to make sure you have a nice time. Maybe you and your friends could go out." James said softly pushing the money into his son's palm.

Harry saw what his father was attempting to do but money wasn't going to help Harry forget what he'd seen and he didn't need spends. "You're gonna spoil me, I'll end up like Malfoy." He saw Malfoy's face crumble inwards as he took a spell that had been meant for Harry and a little voice asked, "a spoiled brat would do that?" and he swallowed hard and pushed the money back at his Dad. "I'll come home this weekend if I can get away."

James nodded and kissed his son's forehead while Harry picked up his bag of Potion notes. He walked his father out and then continued down to the dungeon. As he walked into the class he was met with Draco's angry glare. Sitting down he tried to ignore the look even though it was the same one the boy had worn the night before: the look he would wear while killing Harry. And he said softly, "I'm sorry, Draco, really. I fucked up."

Draco still glared but it lost its malevolence as he said, "I waited for you."

"I know-"

"Was it worth it?" Draco interrupted.

And he thought of the pizza and affection and said, "Yes."

Nodding Draco accepted the answer and said, "Fine. Don't do it again. You only get to fuck up once." Harry nodded grateful that Draco was willing to drop it. "Seven PM, your room, be there or fail the test tomorrow."


	102. 102

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 102 of ? or part 17 of Part Three

Words: 319

* * *

They had almost finished their studying for the night. Draco had been cool towards him and Harry could understand that but said softly, "I want to be friends."

"I've forgiven you for being an arse." Draco sounded bored as he flipped through both sets of notes.

"No, I don't mean I want to make up. I mean: I want to be friends."

Looking at him for the first time Draco thought and then said, "Good, I would hate it if the boy with the highest marks in Potions _wasn't_ my friend." Harry laughed and then Draco said, "Can I ask you a friendly question?"

"Only if it's not about last night," replied Harry not wanting to think about it anymore than he had to.

"Why do you cover your scar?" asked Draco softly.

"Because it makes me stand out. I don't want people to like me because they look at me and see a tragedy. My mother died I don't want to be a celebrity for that." He looked away worrying that Draco would laugh. But the blond just nodded and said nothing. "Did you sleep here last night?" asked Harry.

"What makes you ask?" Draco spoke in a guarded tone.

"My roommates heard snoring and I found a blond hair on my pillow," Harry replied as though it were normal for Draco to sleep there.

"I was frustrated with you and passed out," lied Draco and Harry could see it as a fib but didn't push any more. "When I woke up it was past curfew and I didn't want to get caught."

Looking at the watch Sirius had given him for his birthday. The face read "Past Curfew" and Harry said, "Well, you're screwed again. Gonna sleep here?"

Draco studied him before saying, "Can I?" and Harry could see that Draco was testing to see how far Harry would let him in to his life.

"Of course."


	103. 103

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 103 of ? or part 18 of Part Three

Words: 410

* * *

He watched as Draco ran a loving hand along his abdomen. He had been asleep and the blond had crawled into bed after working late. Draco came up behind him and kissed his ear, "Baby, you awake?"

"No, I'm flaccid, you have to wake it up," Harry said rolling over slowly and getting warm kisses trailed over his skin. "How was work?" he asked and tried to turn his head to look at the time, "How late is it?"

"It's late, you fell asleep, and work sucked."

"Why?" he asked touching the blond's cheek.

"My boss hates me because I'm new and he doesn't like newbies. So I tried to stay late to make him see that I'm a hard worker and now I'm so tired."

Harry ran his fingers over Draco's back saying, "Have I told you how proud I am that you're the Junior Prime Minister of the Ministry of Magic?"

"You're as proud of me as I am that you're the youngest Headmaster Hogwarts has ever had." Draco attacked his neck with soft kisses and Harry moaned, reaching to turn on a light so that he could see his lover's face.

He woke up in a cold sweat with Draco staring at him in fear. "I just saw your dream," he said, looking disturbed. He started pulling on clothes as he said, "I agreed to sleep in your bed not fuck you for the next twenty years."

Harry started to scramble out of bed saying, "It's not how it seems."

"It's exactly what it seems. You made me think we were friends so you could seduce me." Draco was angrily moving towards the door.

Pleased that his roommates were heavy sleepers Harry followed saying, "That's not it at all!"

Draco rounded on him and said, "Is this what you want?" He grabbed Harry and kissed him hard.

Draco pushed so hard that Harry's lips parted easily and Draco forced his tongue between Harry's teeth. The minute Harry felt the organ in his mouth he bit down hard and Draco pulled back in shock. Harry said, "That's not what I wanted." His eyes were blank as he backed away, "I just wanted to be your friend," He said softly his eyes were still unfocused and lost. "I'll give you give you my invisibility cloak to go back to your dorm. You can't sleep here." Harry sifted through his trunk and handed the silver material to Draco. "Please leave."


	104. 104

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 104 of ? or part 19 of Part Three

Words: 382

* * *

Harry crawled back under the covers and called his dad's name. He saw the mirror light up and Sirius was sleepily saying, "He's in the toilet, sweetie, he'll be right out. You alright?"

"I had a dream," he said softly. His voice was thick with saliva as he tried not to cry, "And now Draco hates me."

James appeared next to Sirius, "What's gong on?"

"I had a dream and it was nice and Draco loved me and it was _so_ nice and we were in a little apartment of our own. And then I woke up and I'd been touching Draco so he saw it."

"Why was he in your bed?" asked James.

"Because it was past curfew so he was just gonna stay. But he saw my dream and thought I was trying to seduce him but I wasn't. And then he kissed me really hard to prove that he didn't want me and to make fun of me. And it wasn't nice because it hurt and he didn't mean it like a kiss so I bit his tongue just to get him to stop." He pulled at the edge of the comforter and felt ashamed of how babyish he was.

James sighed, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, the first time I kissed Sirius he vomited for a solid half hour afterwards."

"All I wanted was to be his friend. The dream was just a part of what Dumbledore showed me. I wasn't fantasizing."

"Harry, baby, do you want me to come get you?" asked his dad and he was already getting up.

"No, I just wanted to tell you, 'cause I promised I would and I didn't wanna be a liar."

"Okay, Har, why don't you just calm down and get some sleep. You can talk to Draco tomorrow."

But he thought of the anger in those eyes and the force of the mouth and he shook his head. "I don't want to talk to him. I don't ever want to see him."

"Alright," agreed James, "it's fine for you to feel that way. He hurt your feelings."

And Harry shook his head again. "It would have hurt my feelings if he just left but he kissed me and that makes it worse. I feel ashamed and unclean."


	105. 105

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 105 of ? or part 20 of Part Three

Words: 201

* * *

Harry went to Severus' chambers before class and said, "I need you to help me."

"How?" asked Severus sitting comfortably on the couch.

"Switch the partners."

"What? It's been less than a week." He sipped his coffee slowly and waited for an answer.

"Can't you say that Neville hasn't fucked up enough and switch people about?"

"Language, Harry, why do you need this?"

"I can't look at him, Sevra. I can't do it. I don't even want to be in the same room with him. Please don't make me explain it anymore." Harry hugged himself tightly and looked away not wanting to have to talk about it anymore.

Severus watched the way the boy collapsed into himself and said, "After the test I'll make the announcement that people need to switch. Who do you want I'll say I'm arranging it myself."

"Anyone who isn't him, I can't be with him. I don't want to be alone with. . . Anyone else will be better."

Nodding Severus said, "How about Pansy?" He knew that the two rubbed along well enough. Harry stood still and just nodded slightly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. . . we're never gonna be friends. I might fail this test."


	106. 106

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 106 of ? or part 21 of Part Three

Words: 462

* * *

Harry aced the test and Snape rearranged the partners supposedly at random. Ron got stuck with Draco and Harry was positive that Severus was punishing the blond. Pansy was supposed to come over that night to study. But Harry was alone in the dorm preparing when Draco came into the room under the guise of looking for Ron. "Oh, hey," said Draco as he looked Harry up and down, "where's Weasel?"

"I don't know," Harry turned away from the boy not wanting to have to face his humiliation.

Draco reached out and grabbed Harry's arm saying, "I'm sorry. I over reacted." Harry flinched under the touch and shrank away.

Blinking slowly Harry tried to back away and he said, "It's fine. Don't touch me like that."

Rolling his eyes Draco said, "I get it: you weren't seducing me and I was wrong for getting upset."

"You're not getting it!" Harry's voice was slightly hysterical, "I don't want you to touch me."

"Harry, I thought we were gonna be friends," Draco said forcing a smile.

"You want to know what last night was about?" laughed Harry angrily. He grabbed the boy's arm and pushed all of the visions he had seen in Dumbledore's office except the ones about Severus. He'd seen his father make the move a thousand times and had picked it up from his as a child. When he was little he used it as a way of explaining situations when it was difficult to find the words, he would just show his dad what had occurred. But he wasn't a mage and it was a hard task and the receiver was always hurt when Harry did it. Draco doubled over in pain and Harry looked down at him feeling nothing having been forced to relive all the visions to give them to Draco. "I wanted to be your friend. Just your friend. Because I wanted us both to survive the coming war. I'm not going to die at _your_ hands." He spat the word as though Draco was a foul taste he wanted to get out of his mouth. Grabbing his books Harry turned to go downstairs. He stepped past Draco who was still on the floor but the blond grabbed his ankle. "I told you not to touch me," he spoke coldly.

"Wait," said Draco using his clutch on Harry's leg to help him stand up. Draco just leaned against Harry and the boy considered pushing him on his arse but instead just stood stalk still. Draco stroked Harry's arms and the brunette tried to pull away but Draco said, "Gimme a minute. I need to get back my footing."

And Harry said, "You're standing."

"That's not the footing I was talking about." Draco leaned down and kissed him.


	107. 107

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 107 of ? or part 22 of Part Three

Words: 257

* * *

Trying to pull away Harry moaned slightly. He didn't want Draco to be kissing him. But the blond was holding his face and he couldn't get away and the kiss was soft and deep and Harry could feel himself hyperventilating. When Draco realized that Harry wasn't reacting and wasn't going to he let him go. Harry fell back a few steps and said, "I don't want this." 

Confused Draco said, "But you saw it, we could be so good together. We could make each other great."

"No," Harry could feel his whole body quaking, "We could be great right up until you died for me. And then I'll be alone and you'll be _dead_. _Dead_ isn't great, Draco. _Dead_ is _dead_."

"You're trembling," said Draco quietly and worried.

"Stop forcing kisses on me and I'll probably stop freaking out!" replied Harry angrily. "I don't like this. I just wanted to be your friend." He left quickly and didn't allow Draco time to respond.

Following with quick steps Draco whispered to him on the stairway, "If it's nothing but unwelcome why would it make you tremble?"

"Because it makes me feel ill. You hurt me last night. You scare me. Now leave me alone." Harry didn't look at the boy he counted the stones that made up the floor and kept walking. Draco didn't follow and he was relieved.

In the common room he saw Pansy walking towards him and he said, "Let's study by the fire. It's cold in my room." And they settled down to work.


	108. 108

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 108 of ? or part 23 of Part Three

Words: 701

* * *

James said, "I want him home. Did you see his face last night? I've not seen him this upset since we first got him back. He shouldn't be there. That's not where he's meant to be." He leaned into his mate's side and said, "Tell me I'm wrong." 

Sirius shook his head, "It hurts to see him upset and I don't like seeing him in Dumbledore's protection. He'll use Harry all up until he's won the fucking war."

"Is it wrong for me to want him home?" asked James softly wanting an answer he could trust.

"No, I don't think he's safe there either. I mean, he can still have friends and a life here. They can all come over here to see him, he can go out with them."

"Not Draco Malfoy," said James with vehemence.

"James, if he wants to you have to let him," Sirius stroked his lover's hair and looked at the clock. "We should get up: it's nearly time for work."

James didn't actually have a job. Sirius worked for a designer spells company inventing different charms and charmed objects. James had been too busy being a house husband and father. Harry had been home school for three years. With a sigh he said, "Am I just selfish: is he better off there?"

Remus knocked twice and then opened the door without waiting. He was carrying cups of coffee and he said, "No. He's safest here and he can get better training. He's way ahead of everyone in his year, including Hermione Granger. Bring him home."

"We could be really adult about it and let him choose," suggested Sirius sipping the coffee he was handed, "maybe he's too grown up to want to be with a bunch of old guys. He's not a baby anymore he must want friends of his own."

Nodding James conceded but he was going to talk to Harry about this today. If the boy wanted, James would help him pack and have him reinstalled in the house before noon.

When he got to the school he realized that first period had started. He knew that Harry had told him about his schedule but he couldn't remember. He figured that he would start with DADA as he was close to the class. He knocked and was told to enter. He saw Neville Longbottom at one of the desks and knew that he had hit gold. But he looked around and didn't see his son. "Where's Harry?" he asked looking directly at the boy.

"He's ill in bed, sir." Said Dean in response. James could tell it was a lie and that Neville hadn't been able to answer. He nodded and shut the door before bounding up to the tower. He knocked at the portrait hole until an upperclassman who had first period free opened it for him. When the boy saw that it was James Potter he stepped back and allowed the man to enter. James asked, "Fourth year boy's dorm?"

"First on the left," the boy replied pointing to the stairs.

James climbed quickly and opened the door to see his son lying in bed eyes open but unmoving. "Hey, Daddy," he said softly. He was thinking about Draco Malfoy and how the boy was going to kill him in the end because Harry didn't want to be his lover. He wasn't surprised that his dad had come and he said softly, "Can we go home? I've learned everything I can learn here. Nothing can be taught to me here that I can't learn from you. I'll make friends and be normal. I won't get stunted, I promise. Let me come home. Please," the boy begged softly.

With a sad smile James wished he had been wrong, wished that Harry wanted to stay. He waved his wand and all of Harry's possessions flew into the boy's trunk. "Of course," said James softly.

"And I thought I was ready for this." Harry sighed sadly looking around, "Maybe when the war is over I can come back. Maybe there won't be all this pressure then."

Squeezing his son's shoulder James led the boy out to the fireplace with Harry's trunk floating behind them.


	109. 109

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 109 of ? or part 24 of Part Three

Words: 261

* * *

Harry unpacked and said, "I'm sorry. I know you thought it would be good for me. I thought I would be able to deal with it all."

"It's fine," said James having not yet told the boy the truth that he had been coming to get him. "It's been really hard on all of us, not just you, don't worry. This is always your home and you're always wanted here. I was coming today to ask you if you really wanted to be there."

"I promise I won't shirk from school work and I'll make friends here and go see the Hogwarts kids but I don't want to be there," said Harry as he assisted Davy in climbing onto Harry's bed as it was too high for the bear to do on his own. "Thank you for letting me come home."

"You're very welcome. Would you hate me if we had pizza again tonight?" asked James with a laugh.

Smiling Harry shook his head, "Not at all. Too tired?" asked Harry looking at the clock and seeing that it was noon.

"No, I just thought we could do something this afternoon. Wanna go to a cinema?"

Harry liked the way he had been brought up bi-cultural because it opened up possibilities and he said, "Wisaly University has a guy talking about the effects of Jupiter on us during it's eclipse. I'd kind of like to go. It should be interesting. They're on the floo system."

"Whatever you like," agreed James as he refolded Harry's shirts and put them in his dresser.


	110. 110

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 110 of ? or part 25 of Part Three

Words: 173

* * *

Harry sat leaning back and looking at the beautiful display floating over their heads as the lecturer spoke and Harry whispered, "Isn't that frightening and gorgeous?"

James nodded and murmured. "Yeah."

"What do you think happens to the dead?" he asked softly, "I'd like to think Mum's a star, she's just too far away to see yet. And some day my grandkids will make a wish on her."

"That's lovely. Are you alright?" asked James resting his arm over the boy's shoulder and along the back of his seat.

Harry nodded but could feel tears running down the back of his throat. Staring at the stars he said, "I feel really safe here. Thank you."

"Harry, stop thanking me." James squeezed his shoulder and fell back into silence to listen to the lecturer.

A star shot across the sky and Harry said, "Hey, Mum."

After the lecture Harry and his father thanked the speaker even though they hadn't paid much attention to him but had focused on the amazing planetarium they'd been inside.


	111. 111

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 111 of ? or part 26 of Part Three

Words: 173

* * *

They actually ordered Indian and rented one of the kind of multidimensional films that had thrilled Harry as a child. It was about archeologists who were digging up a haunted tomb. One of them got weird malaria and started vomiting scarab beetles and Harry pulled his coconut nan and said, "Mystical archeology is no longer a career option."

He was sitting on the ground with his plate on the low coffee table in front of him. The fireplace flashed green and Severus stepped out. "Only here for a visit, have to go back," he said by way of greeting as he took off his coat, "that smells amazing."

"Grab a plate," said Sirius as he watched a man's face explode and rats ran out of his skull in a flood and he added, "I just lost my appetite." He stood to put his plate in the sink.

Severus took it off of him and said, "Waste not want not." He placed an onion bajji and a lump of cheese paratha onto his plate before ladling lamb vindaloo over everything. He settled down next to Remus and received a gentle kiss. "Harry," he said turning to the boy, "I hear we're going back to one on one."

"Sorry about that."

Shaking his head the man said, "I couldn't challenge you in that class. This is good."


	112. 112

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 112 of ? or part 27 of Part Three

Words: 391

* * *

Harry woke up slowly with warm light on his face and a hot tongue licking his cheek and He groaned and rolled over. "You have dog breath, Sirius." The dog pulled the covers off of the bed by tugging at them with his teeth. And Harry mumbled, "I'm up, I swear, go 'way." The dog bit his ankle without any force or maliciousness. It was just enough to get the boy's attention and Harry sat up saying, "I hate it when you do that."

Transforming into a man Sirius said, "I can't be sweet natured all the time. Breakfast is almost on the table. You and Mooney are going to do DADA this morning so he wants you fed and ready within the hour."

"You were a nicer dog when I was little." Harry complained.

"You're too big to ride on my back and I will never let you put me on a leash. That doesn't mean I don't love you. Put on your slippers, the floor in the kitchen is freezing."

In the kitchen Remus was making eggs and said, "Get some juice, not Ribena, something that actually does something positive to your body. I think there's some grapefruit left."

Harry thanked the man and got the juice and poured some for both of them. Pushing himself up to sit on the counter he said, "Sear said you were gonna come for a lesson but I didn't realize you were making me breakfast too."

"I want you on a full stomach for today's task." Remus said with a smile.

Sirius walked past them wearing one of his sets off green/gray robes he wore for work and said, "Be good you two; don't destroy the house: James will blame me." Then he flooed off to work as Harry and Remus ate lightly fried eggs and marmite on toast. Harry never cooked breakfast for himself. After seeing the scars from the bacon fat his dad had never wanted Harry to help with the meal and the mindset had continued ever since. He could cook quite well but he rarely did so as his father watched him like a hawk at the stove.

"So what are we doing today?" asked Harry genuinely interested in the reason as to why his stomach and spirit were being fortified.

"I'm taking you to meet a gryphon."


	113. 113

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 113 of ? or part 28 of Part Three

Words: 929

* * *

"Remember, it's important to be very courteous. He owes me a favour and this is my way of calling it in but he's not a tame creature. He's free and proud. He's logical, clever, and generally calm. But he doesn't like interacting with people much," advised Remus. "Try acting as though you're talking to you're dead aunt's gentleman friend: polite, friendly, cautious, and slightly awkward. Be honest, he can scent a lie as well as I can." The werewolf smiled as he could smell chemical changes when people fibbed and it had caught Harry off guard on occasion. "Ask questions, you're here to learn. Just be polite while asking."

Harry nodded as he ate and smiled, excited at the prospect of the meeting, "Can they really see the future?"

"Yes, so be careful what you ask because you _will_ receive an answer."

He nodded again and knew what he was going to ask. The question as to whether or not Harry had precognitive abilities had long since faded into the past. The power of pre-sight wasn't his but he could read people and circumstances well and had depth of understanding that couldn't quite be explained. And he was grateful that he had been risen by his father and not by the people who would have stomped it out of him.

A knock came at the floo and Remus called, "Who is it?"

"Neville," said a distant voice.

Harry smiled, excited to see a friend. "Come in," he called and finished his tea, "Do we have time?"

"A half hour," replied Remus with a warm smile.

Stumbling out of the fire place Neville wiped the soot from his robes. He was wearing his uniform and looked harried. "Hello," he said with an uncertain smile, "I just thought to pop in before my next class."

"Would you like breakfast? Tea?"

"Tea would be lovely, thank you, Professor." He said as he sat down next to Harry at the kitchen table. "How are you?" he asked with a smile.

"Much better, thanks," he had told Neville the day before exactly why he wasn't going to Defense Against the Dark Arts and Neville and listened silently. "I couldn't be there."

"Yeah, need some time to cool off I 'spect."

"No," Harry shook his head, "I need to deal with one war at a time and school isn't the one I can win right now."

Neville smiled at that and thanked Remus for his tea as the man handed him a mug. Neville pulled out an envelope and said, "Letter from that boy Cedric."

"Bugger, we said we'd go fly together this weekend, I almost forgot."

"You can still do it," said Remus, "He's more than welcome for dinner."

Harry smile slightly and opened the envelope. The scent of gillyweed, alihotsy, lovage, and valerian hit him in the face and he puffed air out of his lungs. The mixture had been crushed with a mortar and pestle into a course dust. The note was written on several pages of rolling paper. "Harry, you looked stressed in the Great Hall last night at supper. This isn't the NEWTs, this is your first month of school. Calm down. Whatever it is will solve itself. In the meantime, I hope this helps you make it to the weekend. I know you said you don't 'do' this stuff but it might help. I can't wait 'til Saturday, it's great to have found someone as amazing as you on a broom. Cedric."

Still smiling Harry got up to find a quill and parchment and wrote, "Thanks, but no. Really, it's very kind of you, I know you'd usually do it at a price but that's just not my style. I've left school so shall I meet you there on Saturday or do you want to come to mine, play in a field, and have a home cooked meal? Let me know, Harry." He wrote Cedric's name on the outside after rolling it up, and tied the note closed attaching the envelope of drugs (resealed), and then he called Quill over from his perch saying to Neville, "I don't want to make you messenger boy."

Remus came to sit and the smell hit him, "Drugs?" he said in a deadly calm tone. "Harry, I know you're-"

"I'm sending them back to him. I'm not ready for that."

With a slight smile Remus said, "Just be careful if you ever are ready, they eat your mind."

Harry smirked as he knew that there was a damn good reason why Remus could identify his gift through scent alone. He knew his parents had smoked a lot in school. But he had a war looming over him. And Lily had died for him. It seemed wicked to smoke before the war was over. Maybe someday he would try it but not yet. "I know," he said with a nod. Before sending the note off with the owl he asked Neville, "Do you want it? His stuff's supposed to be top because he grows all his ingredients so it's clean and safe."

"It's safe so it doesn't kill you, but it still destroys your lungs," said Remus smelling the envelope. "At least it's fresh," he said with a disparaging tone.

"Nah," said Neville, "I have a potions test next week. It hard enough without that lingering in my system. It smells like valerian and that stuff makes you tired." He drained his tea and looked at the clock on the wall, "I should go. I just wanted to say hello."

Smiling at his friend Harry said, "Thanks, I'll see you soon, okay?"


	114. 114

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 114 of ? or part 29 of Part Three

Words: 265

* * *

He bowed deeply and the gryphon chucked, "Wolf, I see you've been frightening your pup. Stand up, boy, there's no need for that sort of formality. What am I supposed to be teaching you?"

"I'm honestly not sure," Harry smiled slightly, "I just wanted to meet you."

The gryphon smiled and said, "I'm Royma, and you're the famous Harry Potter. I've heard so much about you and I don't mean "The Boy Who Lived" I mean the boy who broke Remus' wand."

"I was six!" protested Harry.

The creature laughed and nodded slightly. "Well, be that as it may, I've heard enough about you."

Harry smiled again but it felt too polite and said, "Royma, it's nice to meet you."

The gryphon's smile went suddenly colder and Harry wasn't sure if he was just imagining the expression as the creature had a beak and eagle eyes. "So, as you said you just wanted to meet me what are we doing? Remus, why are we wasting time?"

Harry looked away, embarrassed at his words. "Royma, you owe me," reminded Remus.

"Ah, yes," said the gryphon. He looked the boy up and down and said, "You want to know whether or not you can win the war. That's your question, correct?"

"Yes," said Harry looking at his feet. He heard Remus inhale. He knew that his parents didn't like him to think about the war but it was hard. "I know I have until I'm eighteen to prepare but will I be able to win after that?"

"Not after your eighteenth birthday, no, you won't win then."


	115. 115

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 115 of ? or part 30 of Part Three

Words: 164

* * *

Harry was shaking by the time they got back home Remus pushed him into a chair and said, "Just breathe."

"We're not going to win, Moony, I can't win."

"I never should have taken you," was all the man said.

James, home from morning errands, placed a plate in front of him with a sandwich, chocolate, and crisp on it and said, "Eat this. The choc's medical grade."

"Thank you," Harry looked at the sandwich and said, "I can't win."

"Maybe not, but together we can," James assured him and pushed back his hair to kiss the boy's forehead. The place was just above where the scar, though hidden, rested.

"We're all going to die. And I'm going to be at fault."

"Gryphons aren't known for being straightforward. That was going to be one of the main points of our lesson. So if _you_ can't win _after_ your eighteenth birthday _we_ have to win _before_ it," Remus spoke as though it was common sense.


	116. 116

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 116 of ? or part 31 of Part Three

Words: 157

* * *

James way lying curled into Sirius' side. The man was running his hands down James' flank and reading a book. James turned onto his back and said, "Do you feel safe?"

"What do you mean?" asked Sirius dog-earing his page and shutting the book.

"With me," said James, "Do you remember when we bound ourselves? You were so broken by that sick fuck. And I was so scared for you. But has this changed anything? You're an adult now."

"Jimmy," he said finally turning his full attention to the man, "Of course I feel safe with you."

"No. But, do I make you feel safe? I remember thinking, back then: after we bonded before we were together, that all I would hold you and sing every night if I got the chance. But I've never been able to hold a tune. I always wanted to protect you and I haven't done a very good job of that."


	117. 117

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 117 of ? or part 32 of Part Three

Words: 374

* * *

"Jimmy, you're perfect. Even when you couldn't protect me, all the time I was in Azkaban you were the only thing getting me through. You get escorted to your cell by ministry officials not be dementors and they're supposed to take anything from you that you could use as a weapon to harm yourself. They left me with my pocket knife as they said the world would be better if I killed myself. But the thought that you could be alive and that my death would kill you stopped me from using it. I knew it would be selfish, it would leave Harry without anyone, but I didn't think I was getting out. And I really would have rather been dead. But I thought: what if Jimmy's alive out there. I'd be dead, James." 

"But now, do you feel safe with me _now_? Do you-" he stopped himself and shook his head.

"What are we talking about?" asked Sirius softly.

"I don't know it's just. . . seeing Harry so upset and frightened. It reminded me of all the old fears. And he's my son. When I felt powerless to help you I was just a child, your friend, your boyfriend. But I'm his father and I'm supposed to be able to fix his problems. He's not an adult. And I thought about this war. What if I can't even protect you anymore. What if I'm totally useless."

"James-"

"And all those times," interrupted the agitated man, "That my mother would say things about me needing to control my powers as a mage I always thought, yeah but I'll save us all some day. I thought I could do anything. And I can't even save him. Sometimes I think that maybe Lily and I should have never married, I could have saved him from all this pain. And you? If we hadn't bonded you would never have gone to that hell of a prison."

"You're right, and I could have instead, gone home the summer after seventh year and been beaten to death by my father." His voice was deadly calm and James knew he'd somehow upset his lover, "Don't wish Harry and me away on a whim. You can't protect people from life."


	118. 118

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 118 of ? or part 33 of Part Three

Words: 209

* * *

James studied the man, saw the tenseness in Sirius' reclining form and asked, "Are you happy in this life?"

Sirius looked at him, blinking, mouth open in a look of disgust. Finally he asked, "Aren't you?" He sat up as James shrugged and he said, "Well I can't speak for anyone else. But I like 'this life'. Do I hate that Harry is scared? That school upset him? That stupid Malfoy's stupid offspring hurt him? Yes, of course. Do I hate that Remus is constantly fighting against bigotry and against the wolf? Yes. That Severus can't be here with us? Yes. Do I hate your fears for everyone? Yes. But there's a lot that makes me happy. I like hearing Harry laugh, watching him study, fighting to stay in bed. I like seeing Remus get excited about his plants. I like it when Severus gets to come home and relax. I like it when you do sing, even if you can't carry a tune. When you bury yourself inside of me. When you actually enjoy something. Yes, things have changed, we aren't stupid teenagers. We don't pull unkind tricks on people or have sex in stairwells, or Moony's bed. But it's not bad. Is it? Are you so _un_happy?"


	119. 119

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 119 of ? or part 34 of Part Three

Words: 388

* * *

"Of course I'm happy," replied James. "It's just do you remember the last time war started?"

"Yes, lots of people got married and had beautiful children. Everyone was scared they clung to the good things. We were safe and in school; but it was still frightening." Sirius thought sadly of Frank and Alice Longbottom, the other couple who could have given birth to "The Boy That Lived". But, unlike Lily and James, they had wanted to marry; had been thrilled when Dumbledore offered to do the service.

"But what if they weren't the good things? What if they were just clinging to anything?"

"No, James, they were good. Look at the Weasleys. They're happy and still together." He breathed for a moment before saying more softly, "We're still together. I think they're the good things." He laid back down but he was on his side facing away from his lover, "Goodnight, James."

"You could have been with anyone. You could have had those 'beautiful children'. If it weren't for this bond-"

Voice like cold steel Sirius said, "Are you speaking for me or you because I'm the one who set up the bond. You didn't trap me. And as for beautiful children, we could still have them. We're only thirty-seven, there are a lot of potions for this sort of thing. I'm with the only person I ever wanted." Suddenly the words took on a less sure tone, "I should have asked you before I bonded us or bound us, or whatever the past tense of this thing we're living in is called. I know I should have asked first. But I was stupid, and scared, and a child, so I clung to the only person who ever made me feel safe. I loved you since I was eight years old. I'm sorry that I denied you that life with the someone else. I'm sorry if you're unhappy. I'm sorry that we've seen so many good people killed and broken. But I can't tell you I'm unhappy. If that's what you're waiting for me to say, I'm sorry. I'm happy if I can see you, or hear you, or smell you. I barely need to touch you, or taste you, or have any interaction to feel happy with you. And I'm sorry if that's not the right answer."


	120. 120

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 120 of ? or part 35 of Part Three

Words: 400

* * *

"How can that be the wrong answer?" asked James sounding truly perturbed.

"I don't know." Sirius still wasn't looking at him so James sat up to see his face. "You just keep saying that this isn't good. And I'm sorry if you don't think it is."

"No, I was asking if it was good. I'm glad you think it's good. I was asking if we were clinging."

"Is it a problem if I am clinging? You're the only good thing that happened to me. You, and Remus, and Lily, and Harry, and Severus Fucking Snape too. But I'm not delusional, I know Harry will grow up, we'll grow old, die. But if we die in four years I'm going to cling the hell out of those four years. I'm sorry."

"Why do you keep apologizing?" asked James softly.

"Because I tied you to me. And you're not happy."

"What are you talking about? I was asking if you were happy. I'm happy."

"I love you, James, is that good?"

"Of course, Sigh. You're everything to me."

"Well good. Can we stop talking about this?" James physically turned the taller man so that he could see Sirius' face. The man was visibly shaken and he said, "I should have told you what I was doing when I made you bleed on that stone."

"You didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do."

"I trapped you."

"Well, maybe, but I've never felt like that. But if you'd told me I would have gladly forged the bond with you. So it's not a trap. I love you."

"Wonderful, can we stop talking about this? What is this about?"

"I was worried about the war and Harry. And then I started just worrying."

"You were such a carefree kid," Sirius said with a little smile. He kissed James' cheek.

"I thought maybe we're only together because of the bond now."

"I thought we discussed this when we were fifteen."

"We did but, I mean, Harry wasn't here then."

"I love you. I love him. I don't want anything more than what we have."

"We could have a baby," James offered but Sirius just sighed. The man added quickly, "There's lots of potions."

Shaking his head he said, "Not until we've won the war and Harry's out of danger. We need to focus on our little boy before even thinking of a baby."


	121. 121

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 121 of ? or part 36 of Part Three

Words: 312

* * *

"Do you want a baby?" asked James. 

"Ask me in four years," Suggested Sirius, "right now I just want some sleep before Harry wakes up and I have to go to work."

Nodding James said, "Alright, can I kiss you?"

"Jimmy, you can fuck me through the floor I just want to stop talking about this. We can do jumping jacks on the lawn if we don't have to talk about this."

"Why is this distressing you?" asked James.

Laughing Sirius said, "I thought you were dumping me. I thought you were saying you weren't happy."

"Why?"

"I thought you were asking all those questions because you weren't happy."

"Sigh, I'm sorry. It's just: we have four years to win a war, a deadline. I just wanted to be sure you were happy because if we lose-"

"Shut up. Kiss me, fuck me, cry, don't talk about losing. Please, we'll find a way. But don't say we'll lose."

"What are we going to do?"

"Take Harry to hear the actual prophesy. Write it down. He'll know we're working on it and we'll actually have something to go off of. We'll sit down with Remus and Severus, we'll think of something. Just get the actual prophesy and put it out of your mind. We won't solve it tonight." He turned off the light and pulled James into his arms, "Now we kiss, fuck, or cry in any order you like."

James kissed a line up his neck to his ear and said, "I don't want to fuck: I want to make love."

With a second laugh Sirius said, "Does that mean it can't be hard and dirty?"

"No," James shook his head. He smiled and Sirius could see it in the faint light of the streetlamp through the window, "It just means I get to whisper baby, and lovely, and beautiful a lot."


	122. 122

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 122 of ? or part 37 of Part Three

Words: 246

* * *

When James got up he saw Harry sitting on the kitchen counter eating an apple. He raised an eyebrow and Harry jumped off the counter saying, "I don't see why I can't."

"A chair is for sitting a counter is for. . . counting."

Harry nodded slightly but was staring at his father's neck and said, "Your glamour's not working. I can see the hickies from here."

Walking in Sirius smiled and said, "Harry, is that all you're eating?" The dark marks on his neck were in no way concealed and Harry laughed. "What?"

"He's going to eat a full breakfast," said James smiling slightly at his son's mirth.

"What's funny?" asked Sirius more insistently.

"Are you going to work looking like that?" asked Harry.

And now Sirius smiled, finally getting it and he said, "Why not; it'll make 'em jealous." Turning to James he said, "Do you want to meet up for lunch if you're in the city?"

"We're going to be in the city?" asked Harry excitedly.

"I think it might be better if we didn't, stressful day and whatnot." Sirius nodded and kissed James slowly. Harry groaned but didn't mean it and then Sirius was gone.

Crestfallen at his father's words, Harry echoed, "Stressful?"

James looked at him and said, "We're gonna go to The Hall of Prophesy and listen to yours."

"Can we do that?" asked Harry.

"It belongs to you," said James softly and then he asked, "Do you want toast?"


	123. 123

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 123 of ? or part 38 of Part Three

Words: 493

* * *

They sat silently around the kitchen table, it was close to two AM but no one could think of sleep. Harry was sitting in his favourite spot with his feet on the chair so that he could use his knees as a resting place for his tea. He was sipping the liquid from time to time and just thinking about the words they had heard. It had been so easy to get to, and to listen to, and to write down the prophesy. 

And since then they'd barely moved; it had been a research party. And all four of his parents were home that night, milling about. And he asked, "Sevra? Don't you need to be in your quarters?"

"This is more important," he said with a small smile. And then, as if to prove himself he said the most intelligent thing anyone had brought up that night, "'Born to those why have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies' That's obviously Harry but I think we need to go outside the box. What if the 'power the Dark Lord knows not' is us? He didn't know that you are a mage at that first attack, he doesn't know that I'm not his servant."

James nodded still thinking. He'd heard the prophesy, and understood it, and he wasn't going to let his son fight, "But I'd like it if you stayed in the shadows on whatever plan we make. If we fail you'll still be on the inside." Severus nodded, used to taking orders from the people in charge, this was James' son they were saving, Severus didn't feel he could argue. "How much can a prophesy be bent?"

"Quite far," said Sirius and Severus in unison, they'd both been raised in families where the ideals of dark magic and bending laws for their own purposes had been ingrained in them.

"Well I was born in July too," said James.

"I don't want you to fight my battle," Harry said softly but with determination.

"It was mine before you were even born, baby, I'm not letting you get any closer to this than I have to."

"The problem is he hasn't marked you," said Remus, always looking at the technical, practical side. "'Marked as an equal.'"

"Harry, sit still for a moment, this might hurt," said James calmly as he wiped his hand over his son's face. The boy screamed and James shuddered as he stroked the spot where Harry's scar was concealed his hand was surrounded in red mist. He rubbed his hand on his face and the mark was clear, "You okay?" he asked and Harry nodded and sipped his tea trying to stop from shaking. He leaned to kiss the boy's forehead. "I have to do everything I can to protect you, I love you," he whispered so that no one else could hear. "Good enough?" he asked the men pointing to his forehead, "I'm carrying the mark."


	124. 124

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 124 of ? or part 39 of Part Three

Words: 233

Harry fell asleep shortly after his father took his scar. It had been a long day for the boy. James woke him just enough so that the boy would cooperate with taking off his jeans and getting into bed. The boy murmured, "I lost you once before, you promised." James flinched but made no reply to his comatose son.

In the kitchen he said, "We need sleep, the army can't run on catnaps." He placed his mug and Harry's in the sink.

"Are you alright, James?" asked Remus.

"No," said James honestly not turning around but just looking at the cups, "I'm scared beyond belief. But this is the only possible way."

Sirius came up behind him and put his arms around James' waist, "Bed," he said softly and James nodded. They left Remus and Severus in the kitchen.

"Do you think we can do this?" asked Remus softly when he knew that Sirius had James safely in bed.

"I have no idea." Severus said quietly, "But James has a good chance because his anger has gone cold, and cold anger is a powerful poison when directed into the right vein."

Remus nodded and whispered the spell to put out the lights and said, "Stay tonight?"

"I don't think I could use the floo if I wanted to," Severus replied as he stood and stretched slowly. Kissing Remus' tired eyelids he said, "Bed."


	125. 125

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 125 of ? or part 40 of Part Three

Words: 180

* * *

Harry knocked and heard a mumbled reply so he entered. He was carrying morning coffee to Remus. Harry had woken and seen it brewing in the kitchen. Thinking that Remus would be pleased to have it brought to him Harry had poured it. And now he was standing in the door going, "Oh Merlin, I'm sorry," he said turning his back. 

Severus pulled the sheet up so that it didn't just cover their feet. "It's alright."

"I thought, sorry, God. I brought your coffee, Remus." He stood shaking his head, "My poor virgin eyes, God, sorry."

"Harry, we're covered," Remus assured him. "Thank you for bringing me coffee."

Harry turned around and brought the cup to the bed, "Here. Sorry."

"It's totally fine," Remus assured him with a smile. "Your friend's coming today?"

"Cedric. He'll be here in an hour. I'm meeting him outside. Um, Sevra? He's gonna be here for dinner."

"Don't worry, I have a meeting."

Remus was concerned, "With whom?"

"I'll be fine."

"Thank you," said Harry.

Smiling tiredly, Severus replied, "Thank me when it's all over."


	126. 126

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 126 of ? or part 41 of Part Three

Words: 310

* * *

"My parents are going to kill you," he said with a smile as he shut the front door behind him.

Cedric flicked his cigarette away and asked, "They can't cope with a person of legal age smoking?"

"Not when he's with their kid. Besides, don't point that out. If they realize how old you are they're not liable to be happy. Would you want your good, innocent, fourteen year old son hanging around with a lay about seventeen year old?"

"Not this seventeen year old, no. Where's this field? I want to fly with you." He said waving the broom in his hand.

Harry smiled and said, "It's in my backyard."

"You have a pitch in your backyard?"

With a slight nod Harry moved to walk around the house. In the rear there was a huge field. And while it appeared, to muggle eyes, that the hedge was about eight feet tall it in fact stood at sixty feet and formed the walls of a secluded pitch where Harry had ridden brooms with his dad when he was younger.

Cedric whistled and said, "My god."

"Do you like it?" asked Harry.

"This is nicer than Hogwarts' gardens.." Cedric looked around the garden which seemed too large for the house and he said, "Is this real?"

"Well," said Harry, "The space was made by Sirius but all the plants are real. Remus has a green wand."

"Is that a pond?" asked Cedric still stunned and pointing towards something blue at the other end of the pitch.

Following the eye line of his friend's finger Harry said, "Yeah, for swimming. I'm gonna go grab my broom from the shed." Cedric followed him to the low hut in a near daze.

"So the field belongs to you and is actually its own world?" Harry just shrugged, "Cool parents," said the older boy finally. Then he finally asked the question Harry had been waiting for, "Why aren't you at school?"


	127. 127

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 127 of 132 or part 42 of Part Three

Words: 407

* * *

He kicked off from the ground so he wouldn't have to meet Cedric's eye as he said, "Draco Malfoy kissed me. There were other reasons, I wasn't being challenged in class, I missed home, I have a war to focus on." 

"That rat-faced prick kissed you?" asked Cedric sounding disgusted.

"He's not rat-faced."

"Don't tell me you like him! Why would you leave if you liked him?"

"Because I don't want to be with anyone. I mean, it's a nice idea: having someone who loves me. But it's too dangerous."

"Harry-"

"Maybe it sounds too martyry," Harry interrupted, "maybe it _is_ too martyry. But I know I'm in danger and I don't want to put anyone in this situation."

"What about what he wants? Doesn't that count?"

And Harry could tell from Cedric's tone that he was expected to act apologetically but instead he shook his head. "Not really. I am not allowed to have someone until it's over."

"Say's who? Your father?"

"No, he'd never say that. I just can't do it."

"And would you want him? I mean, when it's over."

"I don't know." Harry shrugged as if it was something he hadn't thought about but it was an act.

"Do you like boys?" asked Cedric and it felt too serious.

Harry tried to be blithe when he said, "I like you, don't I?"

"So I'd beat him? That is, if I went for you?"

Harry blushed and finally met his friend's eye, "Cedric, it's not a competition. I'm not dating anyone. You're my friend."

"I can't believe that rat-faced brat would beat me!" Cedric looked genuinely scandalized.

"He's not rat-faced," Harry insisted again, "and I'm not flying with him, I'm flying with you."

"You aren't flying with him because he kissed you. What would happen if I kissed you?"

"I would ask you to leave."

"Why?" Cedric sounded exacerbated.

"Because!" Harry shouted, "I don't want to fall in love with you! I'm a fourteen year old boy; kisses matter to me! Nothing's casual to me. I have a possible death sentence on my head. I don't have time to focus on boys!" He started to aim towards the ground but Cedric grabbed the tail of his broom.

"Don't land, we haven't gotten to fly yet." The voice as gentle and he said, "Harry, I like you. I want to be your friend. I'm sorry."

"Want to play catch with gooseberries? It's fun and squishy."


	128. 128

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 128 of 132 or part 43 of Part Three

Words: 614

* * *

Harry waited on the couch for Severus to come home. Cedric had left several hours before after giving him a tight hug and whispering, "You'll be okay. And once it's all over we're going to have to discuss this again. Be safe, beautiful." And then out loud he said, "Can I come see you again?" 

"Next week?" asked Harry.

"Great." And then he thanked James for dinner and told Remus he'd see him on Monday and left.

Now he was sitting with his head on his knees. James said, "Baby, why don't you go to bed?"

"Isn't Sevra coming home?"

"After the meeting, going back to school, and showering. Go to bed. I'll wake you."

"No. Because you won't wake me if he's beaten up. I want to see him."

Severus stumbled into the floo and said, "It's all set. If we're going to do this we need to move this week. Dumbledore has destroyed all the horcruxes. He's had spare time these last few years, especially since he hasn't had a troublemaker like Harry running around the school." Harry saw that the joke was meant to lighten the mood but Severus was limping so he barely attempted to sneer in response and instead took the man's arm and maneuvered him to sit down in the closest chair. "The Dark Lord will move in three nights to break into the Hall of Prophecy and hear it. We need to act before then."

"Is he still recruiting?" asked James. He wanted Harry to go to bed. He didn't want his son to hear him plot murder but he knew that Harry wouldn't go so he didn't even voice his wish.

"Yes." Severus nodded as he spoke already knowing what James would say.

James looked at the man he had hated for years and felt such fierce love for Severus Snape he could not voice it. "So we'll put you under the Imperius tomorrow night and make it look like an ambush. Plus that way you can fight on our side because you can claim it was the spell. If this ends poorly you'll get screwed later for incompetence but not for being a traitor. How many recruits can one person bring?"

"Three."

"Good, Remus," he turned to the wolf, "I'm sorry but you're out. We need someone here. We'll get Kingsley, he's good."

Remus nodded unhurt by being left out of the plan. If James died so would Sirius so it seemed obvious that to minimize the risk they should go together and protect each other while fighting side by side. Someone needed to be left for Harry and Severus was a spy first and foremost. Kingsley Shacklebolt would kick arse and take names, he was a clear choice for back up.

"Can we get Lucius in on this?" asked James, "He's damn good, and I'd like another ally."

"Hell, he can bring three more 'recruits'," Severus agreed.

"Sturgis Podmore, Mundungus Fletcher, and Hestia Jones," suggested Remus and James nodded.

James stood saying, "I should contact the others."

"No," said Remus, "I'll go, I'm also going to Royma see what he thinks. I'll be home soon." He left giving Severus a slow kiss and saying, "Sleep well, everyone." While his words addressed the room his eyes never left his lover's.

After Remus stepped into the floo Severus said, "I should leave too. I need to spend the night at school." He left quickly so only Harry, James, and Sirius remained.

Harry didn't look at hi parents as he said, "I suppose it's time for me to go to bed."

From where he stood Sirius could see the sheen on Harry's eyes but he said nothing.


	129. 129

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 129 of 132 or part 44 of Part Three

Words: 707

* * *

The shower had been warm, and long, and filled with love. And now they were in bed exhausted, and sated, and not thinking about the day and night that would be coming all too soon. And the room reeked of sex but it was familial enough to be comforting instead of off putting. 

"I have a good feeling about this," said Sirius, "I know that sounds odd or naïve but I think this will work. We might not survive it," he laughed but it was hollow, "but I know we'll win."

James was tired and resting with his nose in the crook of his lover's neck and he said, "I know we will. And I think we'll survive too. Natural mages never die before the age of a hundred and fifty. I don't think we'll die."

The door swung open and Remus said, "Royma agrees."

"Moony, don't you ever knock?" asked James.

"You had sex in my bed," replied the werewolf. One of his wrists of bleeding and he said, "He tasted the future. We're going to win."

"You mean he bit you," said James standing to get the first aid kit from the bathroom. He was naked and unashamed as he moved to bandage his friend's wound.

"Blood's the only way to know for certain. Three will die, Voldemort, a death eater, and someone with us. He wouldn't tell me who because he said we wouldn't bring the person and if we didn't bring everyone it won't work. It's not Lucius, Severus, and Kingsley. That's all he would tell me."

"Everyone knows the risks."

"And I told them all what he said but it didn't prevent anyone from agreeing to come. So it's all set. Severus and Lucius are meeting us here." Remus smiled and then left with his newly bandaged wrist.

Sirius fell to kissing James and whispering, "See? It's all gonna be fine. Now let's get some sleep."

The morning dawned sunny and warm and Harry was up when the other's left the safety of bed. He was making breakfast and saying, "Troops can't march on empty stomachs."

James looked at the heaped plate of bacon and said, "Baby, you know I don't like it when you do the stove without supervision." No one else was in the kitchen yet and he knew he had a few minutes to speak to his son alone.

"I just wanted to do something nice," said Harry still smiling too brightly and not meeting his father's eye.

"It's not the end, Harry, we're going to be fine tonight."

"You don't know that!" Harry almost screamed but then, back in the too-bright tone said, "I know you'll do your best tonight." He moved to but the rashers of bacon and the toast rack on the table but James removed them from his son's gasp and pulled him in to a tight hug.

"It's alright."

"You promised me," said Harry in a soft tone, "you said you'd never leave me alone again."

"It's just a few hours. And you'll be with Remus. It'll be fine."

"Yeah, and what happens when Sevra comes back levitating Sirius' and your corpses? Will it be fine then?"

"Remus didn't wake you? He spoke to Royma, everything's going to be fine. This ends tonight." he didn't mention the deaths that would occur. He didn't think Harry needed to know about that.

"No, he didn't. No one ever keeps me in the loop. I'm just the one the prophecy was about. I'm just the one that caused all these problems. I'm just the one who was supposed to fix this." He moved to get the eggs out of the skillet. James came to relieve him of the task but Harry's voice was deadly when he said, "I can do this."

Watching his son, who'd grown tall and strong from hearty meals and affectionate care, he saw a capable young man who was sick of being treated like a sheltered child. "I'm going to pour myself some of the coffee you've made and sit down. Once you've finished making this lovely smelling breakfast we'll talk about tonight. But know right now, you did not "cause" these problems. This was Voldemort's doing. You have never been at fault."


	130. 130

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 130 of 132 or part 45 of Part Three

Words: 868

* * *

They talked for three hours. James was honest, told his son about the deaths that would occur, told him that it wasn't going to be him or Sirius or Severus or Lucius. Harry felt the guilt James had expected but knew that the person who would die already knew the danger. James explained the plan in its totality. Nodding Harry felt ill as he listened and he said, "Is there nothing I can do?" 

James nodded, "There is something," he said, "stay here and be safe. I can't speak for the others, I don't know what their motives are, but for me this whole war is about protecting you. I'm sure the others are doing it to save the world, or protect themselves and others, or for the greater good; but not me. So don't do anything foolish, don't try to sneak along and help. Stay here with Remus and be as safe as possible."

Harry understood and knew that he _wanted_ to go along and try to protect them. His father's words shook him and he just said, "Alright. No heroics, I'll stay home like a kid."

"No," James said, "a kid would come no matter what. This is being adult. You save everyone. Realizing that makes you an adult. There's nothing you can do."

"I feel like an arse staying here when I know someone will die for me."

"They're dieing for themselves, not you. We've all put too much pressure on you. This is not about you."

And Harry smiled sadly, "You never meant to put that pressure on me. I put it there myself. I was never the boy who lived to you; I was your son."

"You _are_ my son, don't put that in the past tense."

"Do you ever miss Mum?" asked Harry seemingly out of the blue.

"Every time you scrunch your nose before sneezing." He looked sad as he spoke, "She was a wonderful woman. We hated each other for years but then we were thrown into the scariest situation and she was the person right beside me, the woman who had my son, my best friend. She would be very proud of you. She loved you more than anything in the whole world. Will you be okay tonight?"

Breathing slowly Harry nodded, "But don't expect me to be productive though. I'll sit in front of the fire until your home."

"That's totally fine," agreed James. The rest of the day was spent confirming plans with people and making sure everyone knew their roles.

Lucius turned up with Draco in tow and when James' eyes widened the Malfoy said, "I wasn't having him at school or the manor tonight. If this doesn't go well I don't want the Dark Lord to know where he is." James had to see the wisdom in the thought and nodded.

"Fine," he said finally. And he sent Harry an apologetic look. "Home in an hour," he promised. They apparated away and left Remus looking at the two boys.

"Well," he said slowly, "I'm going and getting more coffee. I'll be in the kitchen. Um… I'll be back momentarily." He walked out leaving them standing awkwardly.

"Look, I'm an arse. I promise I won't try anything. I want that friendship."

"Alright. But don't do anything stupid."

"What's stupid?" asked Draco, "I want to know boundaries."

"I'm not dating anyone until this is over."

"So when they get back and tell us he's dead can I kiss you?" he asked with a smile expecting Harry to slap him down. He smiled but it wasn't a happy look.

Thinking for a minute Harry said, "I want to take stuff slowly."

"Is that a no?"

"No, it's a yes, but understand that I'm not ready for half the stuff you want."

"I'm not asking for you to be ready. I don't want anything you're not ready for. But kissing's okay?"

"Yes."

"Can I kiss you now?"

"Not yet."

"When?"

"When we know he's dead."

"So in an hour?" asked Draco.

"Yeah." Harry laughed, feeling silly for his regulation.

"Can I get a preview?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"Can we sit on the couch and hold hands?" asked Draco reaching to take Harry's fingers in his.

"We can do that." Harry agreed and allowed himself to be lead.

"Can I kiss you on the neck?" asked Draco breathing against Harry's skin.

"Alright," He moved so he was leaning into Draco's touches.

"And your ears?" It was a whisper followed by a gentle kiss.

Panting Harry almost couldn't answer, "Yeah."

"And your forehead? Can I kiss you there? Where that scar used to be. Can I push your hair back and smell you?"

"Uh-huh. Can I stroke your arms?"

"Of course. I like it when you touch me. Can I kiss your mouth?"

"No."

"What?" Draco was shocked.

"No mouth kissing yet. Can I take off your shirt? I like your shoulders." Draco leaned up so that Harry could remove the offending garment.

Remus walked in and said, "Ew, teenagers. First your dad has sex in my bed, now you're stripping a Malfoy on my sofa."

Harry smiled and it was the first one he'd really meant.


	131. 131

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 131 of 132 or part 46 of Part Three

Words: 411

* * *

They stumbled in through the floo after only a half hour. Remus looked shocked, "That was fast." 

"The horcruxes were destroyed. It took one AK." James stumbled out of the hearth looking beaten up. "He had time to only throw one spell."

"Was it the shit kicking spell?" asked Remus looking him up and down. James shook his head but couldn't reply.

Severus came through next and heard the question. Speaking for James he said, "He knew about their bond, thought it could be dangerous. He destroyed it."

"Sirius?" asked Remus with dark fear even as he hugged his lover. Sirius had yet to come through the flames.

"I'm not dead," Sirius said as he stumbled out of the flames. He was bleeding profusely from a wound in his side. As he sat heavily upon the rug James sent a healing spell in his direction and he nodded thanks.

The rest of the group quickly emerged from the flames all looking worse for wear.

"So if only one spell was cast why do you all look half dead?" he saw that Mundungus Fletcher wasn't in their numbers and regretted his words.

"The death eaters weren't sure he was dead so they had too look like they were fighting. Most of them seemed relieved when they realized he was well and truly dead. We took them to the ministry just the same. We brought Voldemort's body there too." Kingsley Shacklebolt said. He was deadly calm.

Lucius said, "Why is my son half naked and asleep on your couch?"

The pair had ended up both shirtless and curled around each other. "Well," said Remus, "It started with Harry deciding that they could date once they knew Voldemort was dead. And then I have, thankfully, no idea when shirts came off. Then Draco kissed him and Harry said they couldn't until Voldemort was dead and started to shake because of fear for you. And then they curled together and went to sleep. And now, I guess they're dating as he's dead."

"He's dead?" asked Harry sitting up suddenly with a sniff. His movement caused Draco to blink slowly.

"Can we please date now?"

"Yeah," said Harry and he looked away from all the group of people to lean down and kiss Draco. "You taste so warm."

"Bed?" asked Draco hopefully and Harry nodded. But as they stood he paused, more awake now, "Who died?" His tone was fearful as he looked at the crowd.


	132. 132

Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 132 of 132 or part 47 of Part Three **THE END**

Words: 1120

* * *

"Bellatrix and Mundungus," James answered promptly, knowing that his son would have stopped at nothing to learn the names. 

Harry nodded silently, there was nothing he could do. He didn't know Mundungus well. He felt nothing but cold and tired at the news. And he felt ashamed for his lack of sadness. "Poor man. Is everyone else alright enough?" James nodded but Harry saw that Sirius was just studying his father from where he sat on the floor. Harry knew things were right but he didn't want to push. "Thank you, everyone, for everything. We're off to bed then." He spoke easily but released Draco's hand to hug his father, Sirius, and Remus.

He received three identical whispered warnings of, "Don't have sex with him until you're sure you're in love." And he nodded each time before walking into his room with Draco close behind him. They stripped each other slowly and kissed happily.

They were both asleep within instances of falling into bed.

* * *

In the living room people were saying their goodbyes. The war was over, well and truly over. They were gone so quickly, too quickly for Sirius' tastes. He'd wished everyone would stay and they would have a celebration. 

And as the last cleared out he felt James' eyes on him but didn't look up, couldn't bear to see him. It was well and truly over. The bond was broken, they'd survived. He should have been grateful that the spell hadn't killed them but he felt dead inside. And he heard Remus and Severus go into the kitchen for more coffee and James said, "I'll be back in a little while."

When Remus came back he saw James was gone and asked, "Where'd he disappear to?"

"I think he went to pull," said Sirius finally looking up. He saw how sad Remus looked and said, "The war is over it's time for celebration and getting laid. He never wanted to be tied to me. He made the best of a bad situation. And I can't complain it kept me sane through Azkaban. . . I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Remus. Severus," he nodded and stood.

In the bedroom he stripped down to his boxers and slid under the covers. Resting on his side he thought about his lover. He couldn't blame James for wanting something normal, non trapping. The man could say everything was fine when he was stuck but he was free now and that changed things.

* * *

James came into the darkened room two hours later. "You asleep?" he asked. 

"No," was the simple reply and a torch lit itself by the bed, "Thought you'd gone to a bar to celebrate."

"What's a celebration without you?" asked James distractedly. "I went to Dumbledore, he wouldn't shut up. I just wanted the fucking rock and he kept asking about levels of commitment and said it wasn't a rock it was a stone of destiny. And eventually I lost it and said, 'I can't hear my boy in the back of my mind and I can't bear not knowing exactly how he feels every moment of my day' and he finally gave it to me." And he thought for a moment he'd been rambling and Sirius could see he was agitated, "Why would I be celebrating?"

"I don't know. I just thought. . . war's over. You're free."

Perceptive of his lover's emotions James said, "Free of you?" he laughed dryly, "Must have scared the shite out of you when I left. From the moment he cast that spell I felt like I'd been ripped in half. I was so scared, especially as my powers weren't going to protect us both." He played with the band of gold on his hand, "This ring means nothing if I can't feel you." Moving over to the bed he gave Sirius a pleading look and was rewarded with a searing kiss. It didn't feel right because they couldn't feel it from the other person's mind. "See?" asked James, "Post war victory sex wasn't going to be right without our connection. Like drunk sex, it's hot and great but it's just not as perfect a fit. Please marry me? I'll never be whole without this bond."

Seeing that one of James' fingers had been recently bitten and forced to bleed Sirius knew that his mate had already performed his half of the ceremony. He reached for the grey/blue stone and said, "I swear from this day forward to love only you. To feel allegiance to only you. To be only yours. From now until the day we die I belong to you." He bit his finger hard and rubbed a smear of blood on the stone. He felt the familiar rush as James swum into his head. And he smiled slowly. He had initiated this bond years ago and now James had done so, they were finally on even footing. They knew unequivocally where they stood with each other.

"Make love to me?" asked James softly. Sirius was instantly reaching to pull off his lover's robes.

* * *

Harry woke to the sent of a fry up. He pulled Draco into the kitchen with him saying, "I swear they don't bite." As they walked through the door Harry saw that half the contents of the larder seemed to be cooking on the stove. And he spoke to Sirius, "Is this your way of celebrating the end of the war without having an actual party?" 

"I don't like most people well enough to invite them and I'm not letting my fourteen year old drink," said Sirius with a smile as he handed Harry a cup of tea and kissed his forehead. He studied Draco for a moment before laying a kiss on him as well and asking, "Coffee or tea?"

"Coffee please," responded Draco, shocked at the instant acceptance.

"Man after my own heart," said a bleary eyed Remus as he and Snape entered the room. "How'd you boys sleep?"

"Davy woke us up at two AM because he was sick of sitting at the end of the bed." Harry rubbed the sleep out of the corners of his eyes. Sirius smiled at the statement as Davy walked in and waved to him.

Snape looked at Sirius and asked, "Does James still have that stone?" Harry saw the way that, even while half asleep, Remus' eyes lit up at the implication.

His dad walked into the room and shied the stone at him. Severus caught it before it hit his head and gave James a withering look which would have been more effective if he hadn't sounded so pleased when he said, "Thanks."

And everyone smiled as they sat down to breakfast.

**THE END**

**Thank you to everyone who's stayed with this story!**


End file.
